Autistic man throws out sister and kids over use of his 'display only' PAW Patrol toothbrush. AITA?
"AITA for kicking my (26m) sister (29f) and her children out over a toothbrush?"
chase99marshall
This is a throwaway account. For some background that may important to the story, I am a 26 year old man, and I live alone. When I was 5 years old, I was diagnosed with ‘high functioning’ autism.
Because of my autism, I have a special interest in the children’s show PAW Patrol. It is a huge aspect of my life and personality, and I find myself often collecting merchandise from the show. One of my spare bedrooms is decorated completely PAW patrol based, and the walls are covered in shelves where I display my figures/ plushies.
Onto the story now, my older sister (29f) asked to stay with me for a week or two with her two kids (11 and 9 m) because I have an empty room, and her and her husband had been having really bad arguments nonstop and she needed to take a break and make sure it wouldn’t affect her children’s emotional health.
Early Wednesday morning, they came to my place and I settled them into the guest room (different from the room I keep my merchandise.) and had to go to work at about 7:00 A.M.
I told my sister to just relax for a while and to make herself at home, with my only stipulations being she and her boys keep away from my merchandise room and my bedroom.
I came home from work later on to the children asleep on my couch and my sister having a shower. Then, I went into my merchandise room to check up on it. It was a mess.
Figures were on the ground, and lots of my stuffed animals were moved from where they go on their shelves. Nothing was damaged aside from a PAW Patrol toothbrush that I kept sealed and on display, it was opened and on the floor.
I got really upset at my sister and sort of wanted to cry, (Autism affects my emotional regulation, especially when a situation is related to my special interest.) and I started to ask my sister to replace the toothbrush since her children went in the room I asked them all not to go in. I didn’t raise my voice, but I was very upset and angry.
She refused and told me I’m a monster for asking her to replace something I left out in the open, and we just kept arguing. Eventually, I was close to having a meltdown because my PAW Patrol items are really important to me, and I felt ignored and belittled.
I asked her and her children to leave my house, and offered to get her a hotel room for a while because I was struggling to calm down. I may be an AH for acting this way. She screamed at me and called me dramatic and childish before slamming the door and leaving.
I know the toothbrush wasn’t that expensive, but I found myself feeling really upset because the boundary I set was broken and my favorite room was left a mess. AITA for making her leave?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
NapalmAxolotlNapalmAxolotl
NTA. You said "stay out of this private room, you can use all the public spaces". That's very reasonable! She let her kids go in the room and play with your stuff without permission, and they opened a packaged toothbrush for some strange reason (I mean, it's not even opening a toy, it's a toothbrush, why would they touch that?).
Then she blamed you for leaving it "out in the open" - in the room they weren't supposed to be in. Now she thinks you should keep letting her stay there where they will definitely trash your stuff on purpose now.
(Autism and special interest are red herrings here. They make this feel more important and emotional to you. But without that, if you were autistic and you had whatever in that room, she would still be totally in the wrong.)
makabakacos
Right!? It doesn’t matter if he’s autistic or not. The sister is still the total asshole whether her kids damaged a paw patrol toothbrush or an old war medallion. She let her kids into the off limits room. Period end of story she’s the AH.
MissionHoneydew2209
You didn't kick them out over a toothbrush. You asked your sister to leave after she ignored your boundaries, and dehumanized you by saying your wants and needs are not important. There might be a correlation to her dissolving marriage, and the lack of respect she shows other people.
solivia916
NTA, you asked her to leave because she specifically disobeyed the one rule you imposed on her and refused to accept accountability or responsibility, let alone apologize. It was disrespectful, and good on your for enforcing boundaries. You were doing her a favor and she tried to take advantage.
AwayWithDumb
NTA. Guests who don't follow the rules of the invitation, even if they're family, deserve to be sent packing! Also, no guest should ever damage their host's possessions. That's a universal rule of etiquette.
EMcFadden65
NTA! Get your sister and her kids out of your house NOW. She’s made it clear that she will not support or enforce the boundaries you set. Yes, this time it was a toothbrush. But what will it be, next time?
You set crystal clear boundaries and she allowed her kids to blithely and completely ignore them, and then gaslit you by suggesting that this was your fault for not … what, putting everything you care about in a safe?
What, precisely, does she think you ought have done to protect things you treasure in you own home? If they can’t be good, courteous guests, and respect your space and your property, then do not have them in your home.