'AITA because a kid damaged a wall while I was supposed to watch him?' 'I never intervened.'
"AITA because a kid damaged a wall while I was supposed to watch him?"
I (22F), went with my family to a gathering with some of their close friends. They were another family who I will call “the host family,” and they had 2 kids, 12M who I will call “Tyler,” and 16M who I will call “James.” Another family who I will call “guest family” was also visiting with their kid, who is around the same age as Tyler, I will call him “David.”
All the parents were sitting at the table, talking to each other and drinking. Since they were apparently too busy with that, Tyler’s mother told me to watch him and David. This house was somewhat large, not a mansion, but like a suburban McMansion, so they were going to be out of sight most of the time.
I didn't expect or agree to take care of someone’s kids, but my parents backed the host family’s mom up, and told me to do it anyway. My parents aren't people who take no for an answer, so I didn't really have a choice if I didn't want to enter an endless argument with them.
I decided to ask if James can at least do something, and the host family's response was, "oh he is busy doing something in his room." I thought that maybe he could still at least help just in case he was gonna be free soon.
I knocked on his room, entered, and he was just playing video games. I asked if he could help me watch Tyler because his parents asked me to watch him. He of course refused. I told this to the host family, and they didn't seem to care, they still wanted me to do it, and weren't even going to ask him to help.
And so there's me, sitting in the living room, watching Tyler and David playing together, being loud and obnoxious to the point where the host parents came in several times to lecture me about how I am not keeping them calm.
Eventually things escalated so much that the two kids were throwing things at each other in some sort of “dodgeball” match. At one point, Tyler threw a baseball as hard as he could at the other kid, which missed and dented the wall.
The parents heard this, and came into the living room screaming. They told me how it is all my fault that the wall is damaged, and that I should have looked after them better. Keep in mind, I did try to get the kids to stop by telling them, but I never intervened physically because I was afraid that the host family would get mad at me for that.
Now because of this incident, the host family is asking me to pay for the damages. Am I in the wrong for this? I feel like even if this wasn't really my responsibility to look after their kids, I still understand that I could have done a bit more to stop what happened. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Lunar-Eclipse0204 said:
NTA - Tyler is the host family's kid - they are the ones responsible. Also who thinks 12 year olds need to be watched.
Fennicular said:
NTA and do not give them a cent! Their own kid damaged a wall in their own house while they were at home. They are responsible for their kid, and his friend who was visiting, not you.
The older kids who declined to watch them had the right idea - just say no. It's time to stop taking along with your parents as part of their social life. You're 22. You're an adult. Do your own thing. You aren't their free babysitting service any more.
7625607 said:
NTA. He’s 12. Unless he has a severe learning disability, he knows not to throw a ball inside. I don’t know how terrible this kid behaves generally (pretty terrible if his parents know he needs to be watched every moment even while they are in the same building), but they were present and they are responsible. Don’t give them any money. The person who should be paying is the 12 year old who threw the ball.
Smarterthanuthink867 said:
NTA. First off, they are 12 yrs old and shouldn't need babysitting. If they are that poorly behaved that they do, then the parents should have kept them in the same room as them. Second, it's Tyler's house. Why in the world would you pay for something he did in his OWN home just because you were watching him?! Also, did you even get paid for watching these kids?
Far-Ad1450 said:
NTA. Why should you have to babysit a 12-year-old in his own home? That's an absurd request and you are absolutely not responsible for anything he did.
Advanced_Sea7222 said:
NTA! Why can't you say NO to your mom? Do you live with her? Are you financially dependent on her? If so, you're caught between a rock and a hard place. If not, grow a spine and learn to outlast her when telling her NO. If you can, it's time to move out, or at least, stop going places with her.