Woman calls out husband for stealing Christmas; 'it’s a memory I can never get back.' AITA?
"Kids opened their presents without me."
My husband is usually a great husband and father, but I am so effing angry right now. I don’t think I’ve ever been this mad. I woke up this morning around 8:30 when I heard the kids running around.
I knew they would be eager to open their Christmas presents so I got up immediately. I have a lot of trouble sleeping for various reasons so my husband lets me sleep in every morning and watches the kids until I wake up naturally or I have to get up to help get the kids ready for the day. He’s alone with them for half an hour to an hour. He knows what time to wake me up if I oversleep.
So I come into the living room and there is wrapping paper everywhere. All the presents are already unwrapped and the kids (5 and 7) are playing with them. I immediately started crying and walked back into the bedroom where my sadness also turned into anger, and I started screaming like crazy. I am so, so mad.
I spent so much time, thinking about what to get the kids, ordering it or driving around to find it in the stores, wrapping them and everything, and I feel like I was completely deprived of the joy of seeing their faces when they open their presents, which is one the best parts of Christmas.
My husband said he videotaped it. I screamed at him why he either couldn’t make the kids wait, or he could’ve just come and woken me up. He just said “I never wake you up in the morning” I said “it’s effing Christmas morning. You didn’t think I wanted to watch the kids unwrap the presents” and I called him an AH.
He just said sorry, he didn’t say I overreacted. I’m really hurt right now and I don’t even know how to get over it. I don’t feel like doing anything Christmasy today. I’m so disappointed in everybody.
I guess this was more of a rant to get this off my chest, but you can certainly tell me if I was the AH or not. Also, if you have any suggestions on how to mediate my hurt feelings, that would be really great. I hope you all have a merry Christmas.
Edit: people seem to think that I cried and screamed and cursed in front of my children. I did not! I intentionally went into the bedroom to have a good cry. I wasn’t expecting to get so angry that I was screaming.
My husband heard me and came into the room, so yes, I did scream at him and I did call him an AH. I wish I had the same self control as so many in the comments that can control their strong emotions.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
How has this been handled previous years? Did he wake you up then?
My wife told me last night - please don't stay up late as once he's (my son ) is awake he will want to go down. I usually wake up at 8am. She's up with him from 630-7. This morning it was 615. I woke up 2 minutes after & got myself ready despite being tired af. I think OP expected them to wait. Unfortunately kids don't have much self control on Christmas.
EDIT - Husband SHOULD have woken her though first or sent the kids. OP has full right to be upset.
Seriously. My dad worked nights my whole life and my parents HATED each other. My mom would have never let us open gifts without him there. It’s so much worse because she did the work of the shopping and wrapping and got left out completely. So fucking shitty to do to your wife.
Dad was inconsiderate. The kids could have been told they could open one and then they have to help make breakfast and wake mom when it is ready. I bet mom is mostly angry because she is expected to do all the work but she is not included in any of the fun.
You have every right to be upset with your husband. However your attitude will ruin Christmas for your kids. Iike be mad at your husband but wait till Christmas is done for your kids sake.
I would also like to add that being upset with your partner is fine, but screaming at them and calling them names is not okay. If my husband screamed at me and called me an ah because I mistakenly assumed he didn't want to be woken up early, I would be having a long, serious talk with him about how I will not tolerate being spoken to that way.
Edit: for all the commenters who are saying some variation of "oh so OP isn't allowed to be upset????" - respectfully, please take a moment to actually read my comment. What the husband did is not okay. That doesn't justify her behavior.
If he thought it was that important to let her sleep in, he could have had the kids wait to open their presents. Who has Christmas morning without one of the family members? Especially the one who bought all the gifts? This was Dad’s chance to model consideration for his children.
Info: Your kids are 5 and 7; this isn’t your first family Christmas. What has happened on previous years? I’m assuming you didn’t sleep through them?
NTA I’m really surprised by all the Y T A s. Maybe it’s just how I was raised but we had the very strict rule that you wait until EVERYONE is awake before opening presents. I really feel your pain here OP. So much bloody time and effort goes to the thought process of choosing gifts, buying them, budgeting for them, wrapping them, placing them under the tree.
To have the joy of watching your kids open them taken away because the family couldn’t wait a couple of hours for you to wake up would be an absolute kick in the teeth to all your effort.
Your husband really truly fucked up here. Did he honestly think you would be okay with this? That you would be happy they did this? It would have been a valuable lesson in patience and consideration for the kids too.