'AITA for not thinking it's my fault for 'tempting' my brother to burn my journal by locking my room?'
"AITA for lashing out at my brother for burning my journal 'accidentally?'"
IllustriousFoot1070 writes:
I (22F) keep a journal that documented my whole high school life. My high school life was great, so I wrote every single thing in it, attached keepsakes, and made it really pretty. I poured my heart into the journal while writing and drawing on each page. My college life sucks, so I would always skim through the journal to reminisce from time to time.
Now, about my brother (15M). He is the youngest one in our family and, you guessed it, the favorite child. There are just the two of us, and I am always supposed to look after him and get blamed for whatever he does. He is a bully at school, fails all his classes, and physically hurts people. I usually keep important things locked away from him by hiding a key in a bottle only I knew about.
One week ago, my mother (55F) talked to me about why I keep my things locked. She said that I shouldn’t keep secrets from her because "I’m not old enough to know about things." In all sincerity, I loved and trusted my mother at the time. I had the confidence to entrust anything to her.
I got back home from college, and the first thing I noticed was that my room was messy. It looked like it had been searched but messily and helplessly put back together to avoid suspicion. On the table, I saw my journal, with pages ripped out and many pages burned.
I argued with my brother about this, and he said he "didn't know" and thought "it was just any old book." I told my mom, and I was shocked to hear that she told him where I keep the keys. She wanted to scold him, but the moment she stepped into the room, my brother started "crying."
She immediately shifted the blame and asked me why I would keep my room locked and tempt him to come into it. I told her, "Why would you give him the key? This would never have happened if you hadn’t given him the key!" She just screamed at me and said I was immature and that "you are not old enough to understand." What should I do? AITA?
OP posted a quick update.
My mom came into my room an hour ago and "tried to make me understand," in her words. I told her that I am moving out as fast as I can from this hellhole and that she and her son can live here as long as they want.
I also told her that one day her son would leave her for someone else, and, mark my words, she will come back to me. She dismissed everything I said, claiming I’m not in the right state of mind or something. Forgot to add that she sided with my brother, saying, "He's young," and "He's a boy, and boys do that!!!?" I was so triggered after that that I just cracked in a way.
Here are the top rated comments from readers.
DutchDave87 says:
NTA. Your family sounds narcissistic, and you the only sane person. Which is why you are the scapegoat. In healthy families family members have a private space and that private space and other boundaries are respected.
Your mom is a grade A a^#$ole for asking that of you, especially because it seems she wanted to enable your brother to bully you and destroy your journal. It is wrong to ask anyway, because we all have secrets and a right to keep them for ourselves. I too have a few things my parents don’t know about. Perfectly normal. Your brother is an asshole, but your mom is the biggest one.
Square-Minimum-6042 says:
Your mother is horrible but you already know that. She aided and abetted your brother in searching your room, you know she was curious. Hopefully you are almost finished with your studies and can get out soon. I'd never look back, what he did was not forgivable and your mother sounds unhinged.
PhilosopherCat511 says:
NTA You're entitled to your privacy and you're well within your right to keep stuff locked away, particularly if you think your brother might get to them and don't want that.
You're also not "tempting him" by keeping it locked, that just sounds like an excuse to justify his behavior. Your mom also shouldn't be shifting the blame onto you, your brother should know better than to ruin people's stuff, particularly if it's of sentimental value.
AlternativeSort7253 says:
Do you have a father? It is time for him to ‘help his son grow the f^$k up if your mom still has him acting like a horrifying Damien-esque preschooler.