'AITA for laughing at my crying ex husband and calling his suffering karma?'
"AITA for laughing at my crying ex husband and calling his suffering karma?"
My ex husband divorced me three years ago. When we got married we agreed that we weren’t going to have kids. I never wanted them, he said he didn’t really want them. So yeah. Four years into our marriage he changed his mind, and he chose to divorce me because I wouldn’t go back on our agreement and give him children.
I’m not really a big believer in divorce. I was ready to be married for the rest of our lives. We had a good marriage, but I guess he didn’t love me that much if he picked kids that didn’t even exist over me.
Right after our divorce he almost instantly remarried. He got his new wife pregnant right away, and they have two kids together.
In the three years since then ive finished my higher education, and have accepted a high paying job in healthcare. Life has actually been pretty good for me, and I’ve gotten to the point where I think I’m ready to start looking to settle down.
Yesterday morning my ex husband showed up on my doorstep crying. I figured something pretty awful must have happened so I let him in, and got him a drink. He started going on and crying about how awful his life is. He apparently hates his two kids, one of them is disabled and maybe autistic and he has no money due to the kid being so expensive.
His wife yells at him all the time, she got fat after having kids and doesn’t want to lose the weight, she never [is intimate with him], he can never go anywhere anymore. He said that he wants a divorce from his new wife, and he regrets ever leaving me. He asked if I would take him back, and said he learned his lesson.
I couldn’t help but laugh at him. It was so pitiful. His audacity also kind of astounded me. I told him that with two kids to support and his lack of loyalty he is not a catch, and I definitely won’t take him back, and maybe this was karma for divorcing me.
He was pissed, called me an a*#^ole, and said he thought I would be more supportive, and would at least turn him down nicely. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
NTA. He made choices that led to his current situation, and it’s not your responsibility to fix his life. Focus on your own happiness and let him deal with his own consequences.
Who goes crying to their ex that they hate their disabled kid?
After my ex cheated on me and we separated 6 months later he came running home also crying because his new lady got pregnant by somebody else 😂 it can happen.
aitahhhhhh OP jumped in:
We were high school sweethearts, and were friends since the second grade. I guess when I told him I’d always be there for him he thought I meant it. I mean, I kind of did. But not for these reasons lol.
He does realize that divorcing his wife doesn’t make his responsibility for his kids go away, right? ….right…?
aitahhhhhh OP responded:
He suggested he would pay child support and we would basically pretend the last three years never happened.
You really need to tell his wife how much he hates her and their kids. The kids don’t need to grow up in such a s^&$ty house. Let him be a double divorcée, with the added bonus of child support. NTA
aitahhhhhh OP responded:
That’s their problem. Considering the way he talked about her I’m sure she knows it, he’s horrible at pretending. I’m staying clear of that mess.
Absolutely best idea. She would not thank you and it would only get you embroiled in their drama and make him think you cared.