'AITA for leaving after my brother-in-law asked me to move out?' 'I didn't cook lunch one time.'
"AITA for leaving after my brother-in-law asked me to move out because I didn’t cook lunch one time?"
Two years ago, my sister passed away, leaving behind two boys, David (12) and Peter (7). My brother-in-law was struggling to juggle everything, and he was looking to hire a maid to help care for the kids. I couldn’t stand the thought of someone else raising them when they’re my blood, so I offered to step in.
For two years, I’ve been taking care of them as if they were my own. Every day, I’d wake up early, make their breakfast, clean the house, do the dishes, wash their clothes, feed and care for the 50 chickens on the property, all while managing my own studies. I did it all without a complaint. I wanted to, because I loved them and wanted to keep my sister’s memory alive through them.
One Sunday, after two years of doing everything without a single mistake, I went out for a walk. I asked David (now 14) to prepare lunch, which was a simple meal. He said he could manage, and I trusted him. It was the one day my brother-in-law was off from work, so I thought maybe he could help too.
A few hours later, I got a call from my in-law, and to my shock, he told me to start looking for a new place because, in his words, I wasn’t helping enough. All because I asked David to handle one meal, one time, in two years. I was crushed. I thought I had done everything right, but apparently, that one day was enough for him to decide I wasn’t good enough.
I didn’t argue or fight back. I packed my things and left quietly. Now, my in-law is angry that I left without a word. AITA for leaving after everything I did, just because I didn’t cook lunch one time?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
DaniCapsFan said:
Your former BIL is pretty ungrateful. If you've been doing all the chores at the house, including caring for your nephews, what has he been doing? And the ONE time you asked a 14-year-old boy to make lunch, your former BIL says leave?
Something doesn't add up here. But hey, he told you to leave, so you did. Let BIL handle the house chores, child care, and everything else you did. And why should you say anything? NTA.
Lyzab77 said:
NTA. Your BIL is not a good person and doesn't raise correctly his children : he should show respect for someone sacrified their own life for 2 years, while that person could have had fun in parallel with studies. Are you sure BIL didn't treat your sister that way?
Thinking she was just some sort of slave in the house? I hope children will remember what you did for them and they'll be more respectful than their father. If you can, keep in touch with them (e-mail).
SubarcticFarmer said:
NTA, he's going to see how much you weren't doing firsthand.
arnott said:
NTA. Time to stop being a doormat. Go live your life, the kids are grown up now.
HiSexyBabex said:
NTA: It is obvious that your in-laws do not grasp the idea of respect and boundaries. They do not have the authority to expel you for failing to prepare even one lunch. Perhaps get takeaway instead of the drama the next time.
amandarae1023 said:
NTA. What, do they want those children to be completely useless members of society who can’t manage their own lunch? You are there to assist in making their lives easier, not live the whole thing for them.
Expert_Swan_3940 said:
NTA – You dedicated two years to caring for those kids, and it’s unfair for your in-law to ask you to leave over one mistake. You deserve to be appreciated, not treated like a maid. Stay strong and know you did your best.