'AITA for leaving our 'BFFs Vacation' in the middle of the night while my friends were asleep?'
"AITA for leaving our 'BFFs Vacation' in the middle of the night while my friends were asleep?"
I (19F) went on vacation with my 2 best friends (18M & 19F) to the beach about 5 hours away. We've all had a great friendship. However, things got so different so so very fast.
About 2 hours into the ride, I noticed them holding hands. They've never shown any romantic interest in one another so I was surprised but all is well, I'm happy for them and have my own romantic interest.
Hours into the drive, they started acting like they didn't want me there. I had barely even talked the whole time. Eventually they made a pit stop and never woke me up, and when I did wake up I had to pee really bad.
When I asked to stop they got annoyed. Before we stopped, my friend snapped a photo of me pretty much dying to pee with my hand shoved between my legs and posted it on snapchat 'as a joke'. I asked her to take it down because it was embarrassing, she said she didn't know what my problem was. I left it alone and moved on.
We were supposed to have dinner together, it was pre-planned. I was doing my own wandering around because I felt like they didn't want me tagging along, and called before we were supposed to meet. They ate at the restaurant without me and didn't tell me, they said they forgot.
They were taking a slew of photos for social media saying 'besties trip'. I wasn't in any, I wasn't tagged, I stopped caring. Instead I walked along the beach, did some fun things by myself.
When I got back to the hotel they barely looked at me. I asked if they wanted to go to a little concert event the next night, they said no. I tried to talk and they didn't want to talk to me, just each other.
I tried to act unbothered and got on my phone to watch movies. At some point I'm positive I heard them whispering about me and laughing, I just turned my headphones up.
The final straw was when we did go to dinner the next night. They were being decent with me, talking at least so I was happy. While waiting for our food she snapped a photo of me at the other side of the table and wrote 'Mackenzie's our third wheel ig lol'.
I got up and left. I went back to the hotel, called my mom crying and she drove the whole way there and pick me up. I left while they were asleep and left a note saying I was going home, I at least wanted them to know I was safe.
The next morning they started calling saying 'what the eff?' I asked what I did to make them start being mean to me and they said 'nothing, I mean it's annoying that you're like, so attached to us constantly.'
I asked when we were meeting for dinner THAT WE PLANNED AHEAD OF TIME. I asked once if they wanted to go to a concert, they said no and I said okay. I asked to go to dinner the following night; in total I asked for 2 things.
I had fun on my own, didn't guilt trip them, didn't act sad, didn't pester them. They told everyone I ruined their vacation because I left, and that I was just mad they 'didn't want me up their asses'? If it's worth mentioning, I didn't pressure them to go on vacation. They asked ME. AITA for leaving?
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
NTA. You planned a 'friends' vacation, not a 'ghosting your friend' field trip. Good on you for knowing your worth!
And for calling them on it by leaving rather than letting them continue to treat you like crap. They were never your friends it they are treating you this way. They stew ugly people, in fact. You deserve much better friends then that.
NTA. They invited you on the trip and then completely iced you out. Posting embarrassing pics of you, ditching you for meals, and calling you a third wheel? That’s straight-up mean girl behavior. You didn’t ruin their vacation they did by treating you like crap. You did the right thing by leaving and protecting your own peace. Friends don’t treat friends like that.
NTA. I would consider cutting contact with them since they don't respect or value you and try to build new friendships. Updateme.
Cut them off because soon, one or both will come crying to you because they broke up and they will want an ally against the other.
NTA. You did the right thing for YOU. They are not your BFFs. If they wanted a trip alone, they should’ve taken a trip alone. If after they arrived, they wanted to be alone, then they should’ve told you that. Who cares what they say now. Move on and let them be AHs for the rest of their lives. They will learn. It’s not good to mistreat people.
"it's annoying that you're like, so attached to us constantly."
That is an incredibly mean thing to say.
When people go on holiday as a small group, the group does everything together, that is the point. Then your friends claim to be upset because you detached yourself. I think they are pre-emptively attacking because they know how bad they look.
I think your "friend" is very insecure. Was she the instigator in most of the bullying? In her head, she had to make you undesirable to keep that guy interested. After all, they too were "just friends" not that long ago. Plus they wanted that sweet hotel and gas money.