'AITA for leaving my boyfriend's promotion party after his speech?'
"AITA for leaving my boyfriend’s promotion party after his speech?"
I (29F) had been with my boyfriend (32M) for almost 3 years. He recently got a big promotion at work, and honestly I was really proud of him. I helped him prep for it, supported him during all the stressful weeks, picked up extra stuff at home so he could focus. Anyway, he threw a party to celebrate. Fancy rooftop thing, catered food, drinks, a lot of coworkers and friends, even some family. All good.
At one point he got up to give a little speech and started thanking people—his boss, coworkers, his parents… and then he goes: “And of course, thanks to my girlfriend for putting up with me basically being a ghost the last few months. You deserve a medal or something.” People laughed. I kind of smiled but it felt off. Then he followed up with:
“She’s not climbing the corporate ladder or anything, but she keeps the house running and makes sure I don’t starve.” More laughs. I just stood there feeling like I’d been slapped in front of everyone. No mention of how I supported him emotionally, nothing about how I helped him through burnout or took on extra stuff to make his life easier. Just some weak jokes at my expense.
I didn’t say anything. Just left. Quietly. Texted him that I was going home. He didn’t even notice I was gone till like 2 hours later. When he got home he was pissed, said I embarrassed him and that it was “just a joke.” Said I was too sensitive and ruined his night. Some of his friends agree with him, but mine say I had every right to feel hurt. So…AITA for walking out?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Alarming_Paper_8357 said:
NTA. “She’s not climbing the corporate ladder or anything, but she keeps the house running and makes sure I don’t starve.” He should have stopped after ". . . a medal or something." This last bit was condescending and dismissive. You didn't storm out, you just didn't hang around -- and he didn't even notice, anyway, so was he pissed off you weren't there to clean up after the party?
There are two kinds of partners: Those who build up their partners in front of others, knowing that people will tend to think, "hey, what a guy, to deserve such a great girl!" and others who feel the need to be dismissive of their partner's contribution to their life.
Most people look at the latter as "what a jerk - why does she put up with that kind of crap?" He might want to watch out, because he may find himself starving, soon.
Any_Assumption_2023 said:
My first husband was always telling me I was "too sensitive " anytime he insulted me in public...and that after I put him through school, and paid his way.... which of course is why he's ex.
Bets are next he'll tell you it's not a big deal, and he's not a fault because you're overreacting. You're not overreacting. He's belittling you. It would have been so easy to say " I wouldn't have been able to do this without my amazing wife." He had to be sleazy. You are absolutely Not the ahole here.
EconomicsWorking6508 said:
No, in fact you were amazing in being able to smile through his dismissive speech. I guess he thinks you're like the pit crew as he is the dazzling race car driver. I'm not sure what you could do to get him to recognize your contribution! NTA.
RandomReddit9791 said:
NTA. He told you (and the crowd) exactly what he thinks of you. Instead if acknowledging how you've supported him, he made some demeaning comments at your expense. They weren't jokes.
LilyMorn said:
NTA. Honey, he publicly belittled you and reduced your contributions to "keeping the house running" and "not starving him." That wasn't a joke; it was a blatant display of disrespect. He completely disregarded your emotional support and hard work. Walking out was a perfectly reasonable response.
He should be apologizing for his insensitive and dismissive behavior, not blaming you for being "too sensitive." You deserve someone who values and appreciates you, not someone who uses your support as a punchline.
LaLunaLady1960 said:
NTA. He belittled you in front of family, friends and his coworkers. I'd be seriously rethinking this relationship if I were you.