'AITA for leaving my boyfriend at the grocery store?' 'He always treats it like a game.'
"AITA for leaving my boyfriend at the grocery store after he acted like a total ahole?"
So, my boyfriend (28M) and I (23F) went grocery shopping together last night. I hate grocery shopping with him because he always treats it like a game—grabbing random crap we don’t need and making jokes about the “boring” things I put on the list, like it’s some kind of personal attack. I wasn’t in the mood for his nonsense, but I figured I’d try to stay chill. Spoiler: it didn’t work.
We’re halfway through the store, and he’s already tossed in a bunch of overpriced snacks, fancy meats, and a random kitchen gadget we absolutely do not need. I reminded him, nicely, that we’re sticking to the budget this month because I just paid a huge bill, and he completely flipped.
He started making these snide comments like, “Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize you were my financial manager” and “Maybe I should just Venmo you for every chip I eat.” I told him to stop, but he just kept going, louder, like he wanted people to hear. “Why don’t you write me a little shopping allowance, huh? Would that make you feel better?”
People were definitely staring at this point, and I was mortified. I told him I was serious, we needed to stick to the essentials, and he rolled his eyes and said, “You’re so uptight, no wonder people think you’re controlling.”
That was it for me. I told him I wasn’t doing this and started walking toward the car. He followed me halfway, still yelling, “Are you seriously leaving? Wow, real mature!” but then turned back to the store, probably to pout or buy more unnecessary crap.
I sat in the car for like 10 minutes, texting him to stop being dramatic and let’s just finish the shopping and go home. He didn’t reply, so I left. He had his phone, his wallet, and plenty of options for getting home. When he got back later, he was pissed. He said I humiliated him by “abandoning” him, that I overreacted, and that I’m always trying to control him.
But honestly? I don’t think I overreacted at all. He acted like a complete child, picked a public fight over nothing, and made me feel like crap for trying to keep us on track financially. Now he’s sulking and making me feel guilty, but I don’t think I did anything wrong. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
ForwardPlenty said:
NTA. You are living with a man child. He threw a tantrum in the store over not getting some chips and a toy. I am surprised he didn't lay on the floor and hold his breath, he did everything else in the toddler playbook.
You don't negotiate with toddlers and terrorists, so you were absolutely right to leave him at the store. He is continuing to act like a toddler. I don't see this relationship lasting at this rate. You are trying to get control of the budget and he wants to make you feel guilty and sulk. That is a huge immature red flag right there.
Open_Ferret9870 said:
NTA. “You’re so uptight, no wonder people think you’re controlling.”
This statement is an insult designed to gaslight you into believing your actions are harmful to him when in reality he is being dismissive of your feelings and acting like a kid.
I know people already said this but is this really a relationship you want to stay in? He sounds exhausting! I mean, you do you, but do you really want every little thing to be blown out of proportion this way? Do you really want to be with someone who is the type of person who is fine with starting drama like this in public?
His behavior would be typical of a 15 year old who is rebelling against his mother and not a grown man talking to his girlfriend about something important, like setting a budget.
LostMyLastAccSomehow said:
YTA for thinking you're dating an adult and not being able to recognize that he's ACTUALLY 2 kids stacked in a trenchcoat.
LaLunaDomina said:
NTA. Life is too short to parent other adults.
FasterThanNewts said:
Your only mistake was not packing and leaving. He’s childish, embarrassing and financially irresponsible. I see no redeeming qualities. You can do better. Let him sulk and have his little tantrums but remove yourself from this immature person. NTA.
little-beautyy said:
NTA. Your boyfriend’s behavior was childish, disrespectful, and completely unnecessary. You were clear about the need to stick to a budget, and instead of having a mature conversation, he turned it into a public spectacle, embarrassing you in the process. Walking away was a reasonable response to that.