'AITA for leaving my brother-in-law’s wedding early?' 'The bride KICKED ME OUT of the groom's suite.'

"AITA for leaving my brother-in-law’s wedding early after the bride kicked me out of the groom’s suite?"

My husband Darren and I used to live with his brother Adam and Adam’s now-wife Grace for a few years. We all got along really well and considered ourselves close. We haven’t lived together in a few years, they moved out on good terms. Still, there were never any issues between us. Adam and Grace got engaged last year and married last night. Darren was a groomsman.

I wasn’t invited to any of the pre-wedding events: no bridal shower, no bachelorette party, no rehearsal dinner. I also wasn’t included in the “getting ready” time with the rest of the women in the family on the wedding day—even though my husband was involved in everything with the groom’s side. I chalked it up to wedding stress and didn’t want to make a big deal about it (it’s their day, not mine).

One of the photographers didn’t show up, Darren volunteered me to stand in as the second photographer because I have a new phone with a great camera- I agreed. Afterward, the best man invited me into the groom’s suite to take a celebratory tequila shot with the bride, groom, wedding party, and Darren.

There were a few additional people in the room and it started to get loud and chaotic. At this point Grace yelled, “Anyone who’s not in the wedding party needs to leave!” So I quietly left and went back into the main area of the venue and sat with my MIL. Darren was furious and wanted to leave right away. We stayed a little longer to discuss the event with Darren’s mom and sister Ava, who was a bridesmaid.

Ava told me that months ago she had confronted Grace about intentionally excluding me from all the pre-wedding events and told her it was mean. Grace apparently stood firm and refused to include me.

That conversation really confirmed that I wasn’t just overlooked, I was purposely excluded. So between that and being kicked out of the mid-celebration tequila shot in the groom's suite, Darren and I decided it was best to just go- leaving 4 hours early.

For the record, I would’ve stayed but decided to stand with my husband, who felt I was disrespected. I agree that I was disrespected, but was willing to overlook it because again it was their day, not mine.

I still provided the pictures I took to the photographer. I sent her a google drive file and followed up with a text telling her to let me know if she has any issues with the file (I did not mention any drama).

She responded thanking me and said, “I went to find you when the toast was taking forever and couldn’t. Later Grace told me she made you mad so you wouldn’t be sending them, so I do really appreciate that and your help. Furthermore I am so dearly sorry how yesterday turned out for you.” I never talked to Grace regarding any of this. AITA for leaving the wedding early?

Later, OP edited the post to include more information:

The wedding was Saturday and it’s now Monday morning. No one has talked to the bride or groom. At minimum we were gonna give it a few days to simmer. But we are really leaning towards not confronting them at all.

Personally, I feel like Grace knows she upset me. She seems so okay with that fact that she was willing to not get the photos I took of the ceremony. If they know they crossed a line and she’s okay with that, what’s the point of confronting her.

If I were to confront her, the only thing I would want to express is that she hurt my feelings. But she knows that and doesn’t seem to care. The only other thing I might gain from that conversation is why she’s mad at me. There may be a good reason, something I did that I wasn’t aware of.

But I’m not looking to mend bridges with someone this unstable and as immature to lash out like this instead of confronting me as soon as I did the thing. Adults don’t lash out like this, children do.

If she had beef with me, that I was unaware of, she should’ve confronted me and had a conversation before it ever got to the point of screaming at me on her wedding day. I honestly think she used her wedding day to show me her true colors, thinking she’d get a pass since it’s her day. I’m not interested in a friendship with this person anymore.

Here's what people had to say about this one:

Own_Ranger3296 said:

NTA I’m wondering if maybe she’s jealous of your friendship with the groom.

ImposterSyndrome412 said:

NTA but you really need to stop trying to keep the peace especially if your husband wants to make a stand. That does nothing but show that you’re a doormat that won’t make waves when you’re done wrong.

frackem said:

NTA. But I am curious as to why only now was your husband standing up for you. When it's clear you were excluded. I'm confused if you and MIL have such a close relationship why she didn't stand up for you. I get their wedding and all, you're not trying to make a fuss which good on you. Just confused why they waited until the actual wedding to do anything.

Concussed_Celt_ said:

NTA. If it’s any consolation, I don’t think this’ll end well for her, as she’s given the family an insight into her soul.

Tboogie-1 said:

NTA, but Grace sure is. She’s jealous of your relationship with MIL. She seems to hate that you’re the favorite because you’re probably a nice and kind person. She probably can’t relate lol I wouldn’t say anything to her, just let her be. She’s already digging her own grave.

Comfortable-Focus123 said:

NTA, as it seems Grace does not care for you for some reason. Perhaps your husband can ask his brother for some insight.

seidinove said:

First of all, NTA. And it's refreshing to see one of these stories where your spouse unequivocally took your side.