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Woman stands up to sister's tardiness by leaving reserved dinner livid. AITA?

Woman stands up to sister's tardiness by leaving reserved dinner livid. AITA?


"AITA for leaving dinner because my sister was late… again?"


I (27F) had plans to go out to dinner with my sister (30F) as we do every month. She lives in my hometown and I live in the next state over with my boyfriend, we’re about 35 mins to an hour apart depending on traffic. We agreed to meet closer to hometown with my mom.

One thing about her, she is always late. I expect she’ll always be at least 30 mins late but it’s been up to a few hours. And not just random plans, weddings and graduations too. It’s been brought up in the past by mom and I but she always brushes it off and gets upset.

My boyfriend drove me over, I can’t drive and he offered to drop me before he had to head out for plans of his own near home and come back when he was done. I assumed after dinner we would just hang out at her house either way.

Get to the place and start calling my sister (she usually doesn’t say if she’s gonna be late, but if my mom is with her she does, and I hadn’t heard anything). I get mom a few mins later and she says they’re behind because it took awhile to get my nephew who’s almost 1 ready and my sister got in the shower later than expected.

I didn’t even know my nephew was coming and she usually tells me if he is. Her husband was apparently there to let mom in when she showed up but went back to sleep as soon as she got there. Not sure why he couldn’t help get baby ready, but that’s none of my business.

I check Maps and it says 35 mins, adding in getting baby strapped and secure and then putting him in either the stroller or front carrier on her body, I was looking at 40 mins. To top it off we had reservations (SHE made the reservation, not me).

I had never been to this place and didn’t know if it was one of those places that don’t let you have the table if your whole group isn’t there. There was really no space to wait inside and I’d have to stand outside. Anyway I didn’t feel like sitting alone for 40 mins even if I could.

She doesn’t keep her friends waiting this long when they make plans, I don’t get why it’s okay to do this to me and mom. I’m speaking to mom as they’re trying to change the reservation online, at that point I was fed up. If we agree to be there at a certain time be there. 5 or 10 mins late is fine but not this.

I told mom I was going back home, I didn’t feel like fuming at the table and acting like I wasn’t mad when they got there (as I’d done before). She sounded hurt and mad but said fine and that she would go home too.

Since then I haven’t spoken to my sister (it’s been a few weeks) and mom doesn’t want to get in the middle, but I told her I wasn’t speaking to her until I get an apology.

Mom told her she can’t keep doing this on their ride back home and agrees it’s an issue, but won’t say much else. It’s ridiculous to just always be late because you’re bad at time management.

She also wants to use the “it takes long to get a baby ready” excuse which I would accept if it wasn’t for the fact that this has been a problem long before my nephew was born or even a thought. So, AITA?

Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:


NTA. Habitual, unforced lateness is rude and inconsiderate of others. There is nothing you can do to make your sister arrive on time, all you can do is decide whether you are willing to wait or would prefer to go—then do what you want.

The best thing might be to set a boundary—I will wait for you for 20 minutes (or whatever), and then I will leave. But then you have to be consistent about following your own rule. Otherwise all your words and complaints are empty.


And she doesn't even call. Makes sense with a baby, but to not even call the other person is deliberate.


NTA but it's time to stop making plans with her at all. At the very least, leave all travel on her. If she wants to meet up, she can make it to your place.


NTA. Honestly, I would have stopped agreeing to an outside date with her a long time ago. If I have to wait, it better be somewhere comfortable, otherwise I won't go. My late limit is 15 minutes, which I already find to be quite generous.


Meet your Mom on your own. Have your husband drop you at your Mom’s place and bring some food so it’s not any work for her. Forget your sister. She’s incredibly rude and disrespectful. Just see her at holiday and other big family events. Don’t let her treat you like trash again.


NTA. I've gone one friend who is always late and I don't make plans with her. If she's included in the group, we proceed with plans and she can catch up or not come. Either way, I'm not waiting for her.


NTA - The reason she does this is because you and your mom allow it. Leaving is exactly what you should have done and demanding an apology is also appropriate. I truly believe that people do this as part of a control behavior. Do not allow her to control your time.

Even if you get an apology from her, make it clear that in the future you leave after 10 minutes of waiting......and then do it. Take the control away from her!!! My guess is after a few times she will change her behavior or will stop agreeing to meet you.

So, what do you think about this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?

Sources: Reddit
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