'AITA for leaving early after my friend kept me waiting for hours? She got mad when I went home.'
"AITA for leaving early after my friend kept me waiting for hours and then got mad when I went home?"
This actually happened a few days ago, and I’m still not sure if I handled it the right way. So I had plans to meet my friend Meg at a store because she wanted my help picking out a few things for her new apartment. She asked me specifically to come because she trusts my taste and didn’t want to shop alone.
No problem I moved some things around in my day to make time for her. We agreed to meet at 3 PM. I got there on time. She texted me at 3:10 saying, On my way. About around 3:30 she texted me again saying she is in Traffic., patiently waiting for her. About 4:05 she texted Almost there. By 4:45, she still hadn’t shown up.
Meanwhile, I was literally walking around the store for almost two hours, trying not to look weird or lost. I even kept checking certain aisles because she said that’s where she’d meet me. I didn’t want to be rude, so I waited longer than I normally would. Eventually, at 4:55, I texted her that I was going home because I had other things to do and my back was starting to hurt from standing so long.
She replied instantly suddenly she was no longer stuck in traffic and said I was being dramatic. She said she needed me there and that I ruined her day by leaving. Later that night, she sent a long message about how I abandoned her and how she counted on me. I reminded her that she kept me waiting for almost two hours with no real updates, but she said I should’ve just waited because friends show up.
Now she’s ignoring my messages and acting like I betrayed her. A mutual friend even said I could have stayed since I was already there. But I honestly feel like if someone values your time, they show up or at least communicate properly. AITA for leaving after she kept me waiting for hours?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
lucyfussbudget1 wrote:
SHE abandoned YOU and ruined YOUR day. That’s some seriously messed up transference. I personally would have no more truck with her until she apologizes sincerely. Probably not gonna happen. She sounds like a spoilt brat.
suspicious-green860 wrote:
NTA - I would have left way earlier than you. If someone wants to meet up, I expect them to be there within half a hour of the agreed timeline, otherwise I'm gone.
Classic_ad3987 wrote:
Honestly, this sounds like your "friend" pranked you or had a bet with someone else about how long she could make you wait for her. While you consider her a friend, it doesn't sound like she considers you a friend.
How often is she late, cancels or simply doesn't show up for plans? How often do you do meet her where she wants at a store, restaurant, friend's house? How often does she ask you to do something? Has she ever called you just to chat or does every communication include asking you for something?
Rzrback wrote:
NTA - she’s being a bad friend to try to make you feel guilty. I have a friend who was always late anywhere from 15-30 minutes after the agreed time. It wasn’t a big deal usually, Then one time she walked in about ten minutes early. I said, “wow! You actually made it on time!”
She looked shocked and said, “what do you mean, am I’m always late?” I told her yes, but it’s fine. Let me tell you, she was so taken aback, she was never late again. She had time blindness, but once she became aware, she made every effort to be early or right on the dot. People who care about you make the effort.
DifficultOwl9000 wrote:
“Because friends show up."
There’s your answer right there.
SHE didn’t show up.
Whereweretheadults wrote:
NTA. "I was being dramatic She said she needed me there and that I ruined her day by leaving." That is way too much drama in your life.
This fell apart at 3:10 when she said "OMW" ten minutes after you were supposed to meet. That is just disrespectful from the beginning.
readergirl35 wrote:
Dear "friend", I agree with you. Friends show up which is why I was pi$$ed to be standing around a store for 2 hours when you didn't show up. I literally rearranged my day to be there for you and you stood me up.
After receiving lots of feedback, OP jumped on with an update.
Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I just want to clarify that I really value my friends, which is why I made time to go help her. I waited patiently and even walked around to avoid being awkward, but waiting almost two hours with vague updates felt unreasonable.
I think respecting each other’s time is part of being a good friend, and I shouldn’t feel guilty for leaving when it was clear she wasn’t coming anytime soon.
Here's what people had to say in response to OP's update:
GoodyWolfe wrote:
How far away does this person live because it doesn’t sound like they even got in the car.
acaramanamaraca wrote:
She never even left to meet you. She doesn’t respect your time. If “friends show up” where was she? It’s worse because she didn’t show up when she said she would. She lied to you about her whereabouts and she tried to guilt you for her shitty time management. This will never change.
cool-departure4120 wrote:
You are NTA. Your thought process is on the money.
But should you find yourself in this situation ever again don’t wait so long to leave. Send her a text and let her know you’re leaving. You and your time are just as valuable.