'AITA for leaving my friend's birthday party after she didn't let me in her house?' UPDATED

"AITA for leaving my friend's birthday party after she didn't let me in her house?"

I (F23) was invited to my friend Sasha's (F23) birthday party. It was for a Friday at 8:30 pm. We would start at her house to pregame and then go to bars. I had work that day from 7 am to 7:30 pm but I really wanted to go so I rushed home, ate dinner, got ready, and drove to her place.

We were texting the whole day about the plans and she seemed very excited for me to join her and her friends (I am acquainted with her friends but not besties). I arrived at her house at 8:30 on the dot. I hung up the phone with my boyfriend and texted her to let her know I was there.

She said "okay!", so I walked up and knocked on the door. I heard music and people talking inside so I knew they were there. Nobody answered. I noticed she had a ring camera so I waved in front of it knowing ring notifies people's phones. Still nobody let me in. I knocked louder and texted her that I was at the door, but I was neither let in nor texted back.

I knocked even louder and started shouting "Hey Sasha I'm here!" I finally hear footsteps coming to the front door, but instead of letting me in, I heard the deadbolt lock click LOCKING ME OUT. I walked away from the door and called my boyfriend to tell him what was going on. I told him my feelings were hurt and that I wanted to go home.

He convinced me to stay and knock again, rationalizing that it was a miscommunication. I texted her again saying "ok I'm out front". Sasha immediately answered "ok sounds good!" So I knocked again. No answer. I heard the music get turned down and Sasha say "guys I think she's here!" So I knocked as loud as I could and said "yes I'm here! It's me!"

Footsteps came towards the door, and again the deadbolt sounded and the door remained locked and the footsteps walked away. At this point I had been knocking for 12 minutes. I was so upset and angry that I left and texted Sasha "so I've been knocking for over 10 minutes and no one let me in so I'm going home."

She immediately called me but I didn't answer because I was afraid I would say something out of anger that I would have regretted. She texted me that she "looked through the peephole and did not see me."

I think that's BS because she literally had a ring camera. I told her that my feelings were hurt and I felt unwelcomed. I did not receive an answer. AITA for leaving? What could be the reasoning behind this?

The internet had a lot to say in response.

JFKFK wrote:

Sasha ain’t no friend of yours.

OP responded:

Yeah I figured :( Very sad bc we met in college and after graduating I continued living in my college town and she was staying for more schooling. We would go out and get dinner or go to one of our places once every 2-3 weeks and catch up and SHE was always the initiator of plans. I was good friends with one of her other friends too and I was shocked that she let this happen.

anomaloma wrote:

The only way you would be wrong is if you were at the wrong house. If not NTA and those are not your friends.

OP responded:

Lol I was not at the wrong house I had been there before

[deleted] wrote:

Info: You heard the deadbolt click twice? (Once in the 2nd paragraph then again in the 3rd?) I’m confused how a door that was already locked was then locked AGAIN. Did you get clarification about this? Is it possible Sasha told one of her other guests to unlock the door for you?

OP responded:

Yeah my guess was they unlocked it when I walked away the first time to call my boyfriend

O_U81-2 wrote:

WTF? This sounds like they thought this would be funny, but it was instead cruel. NTA.

Two days later, OP shared an update.

Hey guys! Thank you for all the support I really am blown away🥰. Few things to add before I get into the update.

Yes, I was at the right house lol. I had been there before.

Yes, I tried to open the door multiple times and it was still locked.

No, I am not a bot or AI. My username is from gravity falls 😭

My boyfriend told me to knock again bc "either this is a miscommunication or Sasha is a secret evil b----" and Sasha had never done anything REMOTELY mean in the past so he gave her the benefit of the doubt.

Onto the update :)

The next morning, one of Sasha's friends Taylor (F22) texted me to ask me if I was joining them in PART TWO of the birthday party that night. It was the same plan to pregame and go out to bars. But like, why would I go to get humiliated again😭 I said no but did not tell her why.

Sasha texted me a long apology a little after I told Taylor I wasn't joining that night saying that she was sorry I felt unwelcomed and that she really wanted me there and she genuinely did not see my through the peep hole. This gave me relief and I replied saying "that makes me feel so much better. I thought I was invited as a prank lol."

To which she responded that she was OFFENDED I would even THINK she would do something like that. Like what??? So I said "I wouldn't normally think that bc we are good friends but after knocking on your door for 10 minutes and no one answering I just started to get in my own head."

I probably shoulda been meaner lol but I feel so guilty being mean. She didn't answer my text for a while, and when she did, she said

"So dinner on Wednesday? Same time as usual?"

HECK NO!!! I'm like I'm boutta get done and dashed. My friends and boyfriend ended up convincing me to make plans with her bc the worst thing that can happen is I don't have fun and don't go again. Okay fair. We make plans and when the day comes I am walking out the door to my house and my ceiling starts leaking. It's like divine intervention telling me not to go. We reschedule for the next day.

Now I am usually extremely open to giving people second chances but this just felt weird. I don't believe her when she says she "didn't see me through the peephole". So before our scheduled dinner, I reached out and texted her saying that I have been wrestling with something and I don't think I can get over what happened at your birthday party and I don't see this friendship going further.

She responded with "is this a joke?" And went on to say how she didn't see me and how she already apologized multiple times and I "seemed fine" but if this is truly something I can't get past she has nothing else to say. I never responded, she never texted me again.

I think dropping her was my best course of action. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Thank you to everyone here for helping me get my head out of my butt and see her for who she truly is. I appreciate all of you 🥰🫶.

The comments kept coming in response.

Powerful_Put_6977 wrote:

Didn't she have a window to look out of? Couldn't she have actually opened the door to check to see if you were there? Her arguments about not seeing you through the peep hole are nonsense! Total and utter crap. She could have opened the door instead of dead bolting it from the inside. She was being really mean to you and you found her out for her nasty behaviour.

Well done you for going on this massive weight loss plan and the weight you've lost is this mean, inconsiderate, nasty person.

Well done you!!!

OP responded:

The only reason she wouldn't open the door I could think of is safety reasons like it could be a random murderer or whatever haha. But she knew it was me sooo

Buttered_Crumpet09 wrote:

Erm...so Sasha is ignoring that you told her multiple times that you were there and she not only read those messages but responded, the fact that someone heard the door and locked it (if she didn't see you through the peephole, why not open the door and look rather than locking and then deadbolting it?), and the fact that she has a ring camera?

It's BS. I don't know why she decided to pull this, but she deliberately invited you and then shut you out, and honestly, does it even really matter why? Stop wasting your time and energy on her and keep it moving. If she invites you to go somewhere, say no thanks, and let her find a new victim.

HUNGWHITEBOI25 wrote:

Bahahaha sooo…Regina George over there seems to love bullying people and leading them on…but hates it when the same thing happens to her…? Sooo lets add “hypocrite” to the long list to adjectives we could use to describe her.

OP you were NTA before and you’re NTA now.