'AITA for leaving my BF paralyzed in the hospital after finding out he's been cheating?'

"AITA for leaving my boyfriend while in the hospital after finding out that he's been cheating on me with multiple women?"

I (29F) had been with my boyfriend (31M) for 2 years. We lived separately, and I’ve been saving myself for marriage. We usually met three to four times a week and FaceTimed every day since we both work from home. Our friends and families believed we would end up marrying each other because of how much we loved each other—or so I thought.

Earlier this month, he had an accident that left half of his body paralyzed. I rushed to the hospital as soon as I found out from his mother. Since then, I’ve been visiting him every day after work. I travel four hours round-trip just to see him and even took leave to take care of him.

His mom gave me his phone so I could inform his bosses and friends about his situation, but I never checked anything else on it (I’ve never gone through his phone before, even before the accident).

One day, he asked for his phone. After he put it down, I picked it up and saw an open message thread with another girl. They had been talking on the same day his accident happened. I confronted him, and he admitted that he had been cheating on me—with multiple women. He said they never met in person and that it was just for nudes.

He apologized and said it meant nothing. He also told me not to leave him, saying he already had a ring and was about to propose. We had even purchased a house together and were planning to get married next year. That night, I decided to break up with him and informed his mom about it. I haven’t gone back to the hospital since. It’s been a week, and his mom still updates me about his condition.

So, AITA for leaving my boyfriend while he was in the hospital after finding out he’d been cheating on me with multiple women?

This is what people had to say to OP:

journeyintopressure said:

So you don't know when you'll marry, you don't live near him and you don't live with him but you bought a house together? You are both just renting instead of living in the house? I don't buy it.

OP responded:

We were both living with our own parents. We live in a conservative country, and it's not uncommon to purchase a house first before marriage.

moose4130 said:

NTA. Seems like you dodged a bullet. Good luck.

Sleester said:

NTA. You're allowed to have the boundary that cheating is unacceptable to you.

Creative-Sun6739 said:

NTA. Being in the hospital doesn't excuse what he did. You might even consider it divine intervention because if not for that accident, you might have never known about his cheating.

OP responded:

That was what everyone around me is saying since I don't check his phone and I just let him go wherever he wants. I probably won't know if that didn't happen to him.

javel1 said:

So you are supposed to forgive him getting nudes from other women because he wants to marry you? Um hard no. This is when he is supposed to be most in love. NTA and good for you for realizing he isn't good enough for you.

Late-Beat-1457 said:

I think the disconnect is she is waiting for marriage and he doesn't want to wait. He should have told her that sooner bc they are def not compatible.

And OP responded:

He told me that he respects me that much, he never forced me to get physical. He didn't get physical with those girls either but still lied and cheated on me.

cantgetinnow said:

It's tough not to say something horribly mean. You know now, and I'm sure it hurts. He's in a tough spot, one that he placed himself. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. You certainly will feel like you have some guilt for leaving when you did....I hope you don't, it's not your fault.

And OP responded:

Thank you for this. His mom says she understands my situation but implicitly tells me to get back with her son.