'AITA for leaving my BFF’s bachelorette weekend after her cruel 'backup bridesmaid' prank?'
"AITA for leaving my best friend’s bachelorette weekend after she and the others pranked me about being the 'backup bridesmaid'?"
I’m 26 and my best friend Nicole is getting married next month. I’ve been helping her with wedding stuff for almost a year. Dress shopping, invites, late night emotional support during her mom’s health scare, all of it. I figured I’d be part of the wedding party but she never officially asked. I didn’t push it because I didn’t want to seem entitled.
Last weekend was her bachelorette trip in Miami. When I got there, one of the bridesmaids handed me a sash that said “Honorary Backup Bridesmaid” and everyone laughed. Nicole said it was just a joke because I “basically acted like one anyway.”
The rest of the weekend they kept calling me the assistant, making comments like “Oh our unpaid intern is here” and I ended up sleeping on the pull-out couch while everyone else had rooms.
At first I tried to laugh it off but by the second night I felt like a joke. I’d spent so much time and money trying to be there for her, and it felt like they were all in on some joke at my expense. I quietly booked a flight home and left before anyone else woke up.
Now Nicole’s pissed. She says I ruined the weekend and made it all about me. Some of our mutual friends think I overreacted and should have just gone along with it. Others told me I was right to leave. So AITA for walking out?
What do you think? AITA for ditching the bachelorette weekend? This is what commenters had to say:
DustOne7437 said:
Being treated as “less than” is always a reason to walk away.
OP responded:
Exactly. I didn’t expect to be the center of attention, but I also didn’t expect to be treated like I didn’t matter. Walking away was the only thing that felt right.
VivianDiane said:
NTA. That wasn’t a prank. It was bullying. You don’t owe her an apology for refusing to be the punchline.
WrongdoerReal1645 said:
Is she your best friend or are you her best friend? Bc this isn’t how a bestie treats their bestie…something is very one-sided here. Time to re-evaluate who your friends really are because these people sound like TAs.
OP responded:
I’ve been trying to tell myself it’s a one-sided friendship for a while now. This weekend just confirmed it in the worst way. It’s painful, but I need to stop pretending they care about me like I care about them.
spankmonkey12 said:
NTA. She is not your friend.
OP responded:
That’s what hurts the most. I really thought she was. Now I’m questioning if I ever meant as much to her as she did to me.
urself25 said:
NTA in my mind. If you didn't feel welcomed, why stay there just to be the joke of the group.
OP responded:
Yeah I kept hoping it would get better, but it just felt like the whole weekend was one big joke on me. I figured leaving was better than sticking around and pretending it was okay.
Worth-Season3645 said:
NTA...for leaving the weekend when they made it all about you and not actually about the bride.
But, did you have no idea that you were doing all of this for the bride without being asked to be a bridesmaid? and you say this is your best friend? Apparently she does not feel the same. To not only treat you this way, but to let others make a joke about you after all you had done for her?
Who planned the Miami trip?
At this venture, I would be done with Nicole. No more help. No more support of any kind. She gets what she gives. And she is lucky if you even attend this wedding or get her a gift. Or even talk to her any longer.
OP responded:
Yeah I was totally blindsided about not being asked to be a bridesmaid. I thought we were way closer than that. The whole trip was supposed to be her idea, but honestly it felt like she planned it just to show everyone she had a perfect crew, without me really in it.
When I asked how I made it all about me, they just laughed it off and kept doing the same stuff. It’s clear now they wanted me there for a show, not as a friend. I’m done putting energy into someone who treats me like a joke.