'AITA for leaving my stepsister's wedding reception where I was supposed to be taking pictures?'
"AITA for leaving my stepsister's wedding reception where I was supposed to be taking pictures?"
Senior_Squirrel_9493
I am a professional photographer. Mostly industrial photography for businesses and such. I do other types for myself and as art. I love taking pictures of the old architecture in my city and of the surprising wildlife in it.
My mom asked if I would be willing to take pictures for my step sister's wedding to help them save money. She asked me to do it as a gift. She knows that Tina hates me and I pretty much reciprocate. I decided to be the bigger person and agreed.
I was there for the makeup and the wedding party getting dressed, I took a ton of pictures bat the wedding. I prepared a checklist of all the different formals she wanted and made sure I got them all. I did my absolute best.
When I got to the reception there was no place for me to sit. I had gotten there right away so I could get pictures of the wedding party arriving and all that. The wedding party had stopped to use the bathroom and get freshened up.
I called my mom to find out where I was meant to sit and eat and stuff. She talked to Tina and called me back. She was upset and I could tell. She said that Tina thought since I was working and not a guest she didn't have to have a seat and food for me.
I thanked my mom for the information and left. I took my boyfriend who was my assistant that day and we went out for dinner, my treat. We had been on the go for eight hours by then.
I turned off my phone. We had a nice night out and we saw the new Mad Max movie. Sunday morning, I turned on my phone. It was full of messages asking where I went. Then demanding I come take pictures. Then cursing me out.
I called my mom to see what was up. She said that Tina was very upset that I left and that all her reception pictures were going to be from cell phone cameras. She said I should have just gone to get a quick bite at McDonald's and then come back.
I told her that I felt terrible and would of course give a full refund. I also said that this was the last straw and that I did not want to hear a single word when I did not invite Tina to my wedding next year.
Tina obviously thinks I'm a complete jerk and my mom thinks I should have kept the peace. I am just going to drop off a thumb drive with all the pictures and wash my hands of this. No editing. No nothing.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
No_Lavishness_3206
NTA. My girlfriend does wedding photos. I am often along as her helper. Even when we aren't related to the bride and groom we always get fed. We are usually at a back table away from everyone which is fine since we have a big bag of stuff to keep away from kids.
Your step sister is TA. She played a dumb game and got the prize she deserved. Your mom is a little as well. I know how much my girlfriend charges for a wedding. You gave a very expensive gift to someone you do not like. I did enjoy that you offered a full refund.
geekylace
Yes, exactly. There should always be food for the photographer and assistants. They aren’t slaves who work a full gruelling day to only watch others eat without complaint. NTA.
Popular_Document1399
NTA. OP, you should have gone completely NC with Tina a long time ago if you don't have any type of relationship with her. Considering that Tina didn't even consider her own sister a guest and treated you like an temp employee, you had every right to walk out of this wedding. From here on, do not include Tina in your life ever again.
vvveeevv
NTA I used to do wedding catering and have never ever heard of a photographer not getting a seat somewhere or not being fed. It's rude and a slimy thing to do when someone is working for you for an entire evening without eating? and nowhere to sit? nope, I say NTA.
Sodamyte
NTA, I loved the full refund retort.
pinkflamingo-lj
NTA. At my own wedding, and those I have attended, the photographer (and any assistants) sat down and ate. I thought that was just common sense. You mentioned you do take professional pics of business and architecture.
Do you have a website? What are the odds of her (and various friends and family) leaving a bunch of negative reviews that may harm your business? I would hope that the Bride wouldn't be so petty, but, it just crossed my mind.
kuken_i_fittan
NTA. You're doing an epic favor that you'd normally get paid well to do. You're doing this for someone who doesn't like you. Then you find out that they intentionally snubbed you. Even if the photographer didn't have seating/food, the step sister should have that. It was intentional.
You left after being snubbed. I would have done the same thing. If they scream, then you could just say "what's it say in the contract?" (assuming there isn't one) and that should end it. haha
State-Grace-8888
I think your response was exactly right- from leaving the reception, to having a nice night out with hubby, and telling her you’ll provide a refund. Hilarious and perfect! She’s lucky she’s getting the thumb drive. Maybe add one more last picture to it of you and hubby smiling and waving😂
No_Addition_5543
NTA. Delete the pictures.
She didn’t pay you. She hates you. You have zero relationship and owe her nothing.