Neighbor hoses and shames autistic man for swinging in yard, his sister tries to protect his one safe space. AITA? + UPDATE
"AITA for leaving up a swing for my brother?"
My brother is 27. He's autistic and he stays with me due to that and some other pretty severe medical conditions. I am his legal caretaker. He has this hammock swing out back that he goes out and swings on almost every day unless it's raining then he has a rocking chair in his sensory room.
That's his routine and he's done that for as long as we can remember. This lady next door just moved in about 2 weeks ago and has been giving me hell about this swing because it's on the tree by the fence and my brother sometimes will push against the fence to make the swing go.
She wants me to take it down bc it's the only tree in my backyard. I keep telling her no it's in my backyard that is his swing that it's not her business. She even went as far as calling the cops on me about this swing. Thankfully after explaining my situation they understood and just told my brother to make sure he doesn't hit the fence. We agreed to that.
Yesterday when my brother went out to swing again she stopped him and threatened to call the cops again if he got on that swing. I told him don't listen to her get on it it's ok.
He gets on it and she sprayed him right in the face with her hose. Told him he's a grown man he's too old for swings- I told her to get her sorry ass out of my sight before I called the cops. She just walked away...Am I in the wrong here?
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s initial post:
The hose thing is assault. NTA.
You are not in the wrong. This is your yard, and your brother has every right to be in it. He lives there. Her spraying him with water starts to skate toward assault. This was hostility expressed via water pressure-hopefully not much water pressure, but nonetheless. Get cameras and focus on the swing. You may need to be able to show a pattern of harassment. Protect your brother. Swinging is joy.
I would send her a cease and desist letter certified mail. Call the police- every single time. She assaulted your brother! Get cameras for your yard. This is insane that you have to protect him in his own yard.
I would post the story to the neighborhood facebook or her church or something. People need to know that she is abusing someone who is most in need of our protection and understanding. She should be ashamed of herself. My gosh, my blood is boiling!!!
Two days later, the OP returned with an update.
First off I want to thank each and everyone of you for all your suggestions and ideas and even the love and support for me and my brother in my previous post. You guys are all very sweet. I gotta say I got some of the sweetest comments I've ever had.
Now for the update you all have been waiting for. As many of you suggested I did call the cops back over and there is currently an ongoing investigation for the neighbor. Unfortunately I'm not allowed to say too much more on that rn for legal reasons but I will update more on that when I can.
As for the swing I went with a mixture of y'all's suggestions. I went to my local hardware store after work today and I bought a stand for the swing and moved it away from the fence.
I also bought a 2x4 fence like thing to put in front of the swing as a few others suggested. I had him try it out after I put it together. He was hesitant at first bc change isn't really his thing but with a little encouragement he eventually went out and tried it and loved it.
He's been on it for hours and now I can't get him back inside.🤣 I told him it was from his reddit friends. I really wish y'all could've seen the big smile he had on his face❤️ I found one of my spare cameras in my junk drawer so I got that and mounted it on my window facing the swing so any future encounters will be documented.
I also just want to say I really appreciate all the sweet comments about my brother. They all touched my heart especially the mama bear comments and the comments about being his friend and swinging with him.
Y'all are seriously so sweet that I wish I could build a whole neighborhood and invite you all to move into it with us. It just shows that there still are some good people in this world.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s update:
I am SOOOOO glad you got the cops involved. That woman should have been arrested for assault and battery!!! I'm 67 and I still LOVE swings!!!
Leaving aside the touching autistic brother, this is simple and stupid. Guy has a swing in his yard. Neighbor doesn’t want him to enjoy his swing. Neighbor should go step on Legos. Fin.
I’m so glad that he has his swing! I sincerely hope that he is able to feel safe and secure in his yard and home. The neighbor needs to be punished and kept away from your brother and other vulnerable people.
Only thing OP did wrong was not call the cops when she doused brother with the hose. That's an attack. No discussion, straight to 911.
Your neighbor is a monster. My son has autism and loves stimming while swinging. If someone turned a hose on him for that, it'd get ugly real fast.
You are SO pretty. Hell yeah for this sibling being so there for their bro. Taking care of a disabled adult is not easy in the slightest, and it is not something every family is able to do- but to see it done, and done right is a joy.
My neighbour used to have a trampoline gor his kids in his garden. They used to bounce and scream and laugh for hours. I left them to it because it's in their yard not mine and they are just paying. When my kids got a bit older they were asked if they wanted to play too. Imho this is how people should interact with each other.