'AITA for leaving my wife after buying ANOTHER animal without talking to me about it?'
"AITA for leaving my wife after buying ANOTHER animal without talking to me about it?"
My wife (32f) bought a dog while I was at work. She's been wanting to get a dog for years but with our current financial and living situation it isn't reasonable and wouldn't be fair to the animals we already have.
My wife, 3 stepdaughters and I are currently staying at my sisters house while we get back on our feet. We have 3 cats and a ferret, the ferret was recently bought without me being involved in the decision as well. The third cat I was guilted in to keeping after one of my stepdaughters found it outside.
I work for Wal-Mart and my wife is my sister's caregiver making around $150 a week so neither of us make much. Plus with the way her children act, fighting at school, cursing out teachers, not doing their schoolwork and constant backtalk and disrespect, I feel we had enough on our plate as it is.
We even recently had a discussion about getting a dog once the kids were grown and after we were in a better situation financially, which she agreed on.
Then I get a text while at work saying she got a surprise and to not be mad with a picture of the dog. Initially I was upset but I just asked her to keep the dog out of our room, her response was, "It is my dog and he's staying in our room". That completely pissed me off to the point that I packed my bags and left.
Her reasoning, because of course theres 2 sides to every story. She's tired of doing what only I want. She lives there too so she should be able to get a dog. Im a narcissist. I gaslight her. We only do what I want. AITA for leaving?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Who the hell buys and gets pets while living in someone else’s house? NTA.
PLUS only making $150 a week with her husband working at Walmart. I know they don't pay all that well unless you're in management. That's ridiculous. I am all for pets - I have a cat - but if you're living with other people, especially a partner, this is a joint decision, not a unilateral one.
I admire her wanting to adopt, it's just that you need to be able to take care of them and that costs money, which you clearly don't have. Someone else commented that they weren't sure the animals were being taken care of properly and I agree.
Oh don't forget she already has children which by his description are hers and not his. So man is breaking his back caring for her and her children and what is becoming a zoo in the making. NTA and poor OP lol.
This sounds like a break from everything you didn’t cause lmao! You should work to get yourself an apartment, get yourself together, and see if you even enjoy living that way. It just seems like she’s going to keep adding more to your pile til you break. Best to leave now before she wants another kid and you’re stuck in your sisters house forever.
I swear when my adult child gets stressed they get another animal. 3 dogs, 4 cats, 6 humans in a 1200 sq foot home.
NTA- getting a dog to live in a shared space isn’t a choice she can make by herself. Plus i’m wondering if the other pets are even getting taken care of well, given the potentially stressful situation.
Sounds like the dog was the last straw, not the whole reason. You’ve been trying to communicate and she keeps making big decisions alone. You deserve a say in things that affect your finances and home.
It sounds like it’s not necessarily the dog, it might have been the straw that broke the camels back tho. Sorry bro that sucks.
NTA. She'd rather sleep with a dog than sleep with you. Stay out and start divorce proceedings. Maybe see if any of your co-workers are looking for a roommate until you get on your feet. You'll never get financially or emotionally stable with her.
I’m surprised you stayed this long. You must really love her.
NTA- Get out. You have 3 step daughters and your wife and you... living at your sister's house. This is a woman that is a taker. Step 1 is to get her out of your sister's house. Step 2 is to get away from her.
Also, why are you “getting back on your feet? What happened that lead to your current financial and living situation? Not that there is anything wrong with working for Walmart. It’s better than no job. I imagine that you probably can’t support yourself working there. Much less a family of 5?
Neither of you are “getting back on your feet” this is who she is and the life she has chosen. You are young and haven’t even been “on your before”. I figured all of this out by how you described the behaviors, actions and the disrespect that she and her children show you.
Get rid of her. Stay away from them. Including your sister who should have known than to let you around her, without strongly warning you. Or getting rid of her. Your sister is exploiting your wife, with what is essentially indentured servitude. They are both morally corrupt people.
I’m not judging you. I was you. Find a cheap place to live. Don’t spend money on anything other than it being necessary to live. Like rent and food. Don’t go out to party. Budget your money and save as much as you can. Forget trying to go to college. All you will end up with is more debt and wasted time.
Specialist_Ad525 (OP)
Thank you so much. I'm going to do exactly what you said. Thank you.