'I left my friend stranded after she showed up late. Am I overreacting?'

"I left my friend stranded after she showed up late. Am I overreacting?"

Hey guys I’m 23 and I drive a small Honda accord and I usually give my friend Teana, who’s 22, rides to work since we live close by and start work around the same time. We both agreed that she helps with gas every two weeks, and I pick her up on my way. It worked fine for the first month without any problems.

After the first month she started running late very frequently, Every single time I’d text her “I’m outside,” and she’d take ten or fifteen minutes to come out, sometimes even longer. I’ve tried being patient, but I kept showing up late to work because of it. My boss even noticed once which isn’t a good sign. So I decided to talk to her about it.

Last Friday, I warned her that I’d only wait 5 minutes because I couldn’t afford another late mark to risk my job. When I pulled up, I texted her “here.” She said “one sec.” After waiting five minutes, I called but she didn’t answer. I waited another minute and called again and same thing, I then left.

About 15 minutes later, she spammed my phone with tons of messages saying I abandoned her and made her walk in the heat, and that she missed the first part of her shift. I told her I was sorry but I had already warned her multiple times. She said I should’ve waited because that’s what friends do.

She hasn’t spoken to me since, and one of our mutual friends said I was kind of harsh and could’ve just waited five extra minutes to keep the peace. Now I’m wondering if I was too rigid about it. I know life happens, but I feel like she just didn’t respect my time. AITA for leaving without her after she made me late so many times?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Infamous-Purple-3131 said:

"She hasn’t spoken to me since, and one of our mutual friends said I was kind of harsh and could’ve just waited five extra minutes to keep the peace." Tell mutual friend to drive the inconsiderate late person to work.

Apart_Yesterday1403 said:

NTA. And your mutual friend is an idiot, too. If you'd waited an extra 5 minutes she still wouldn't be in your car because you started getting bombarded with calls and texts FIFTEEN minutes after you left!

ratherardent said:

NTA. You communicated, gave her advance notice of not being able to wait for her for an undetermined amount of time, and you waited for her for a few minutes before leaving without her. You’re doing her a favor by driving her (yes, even with her helping you out with gas money, it’s still a favor). Crap happens, people are late sometimes, but you can’t sacrifice your job for her tardiness.

didifallasleep13 said:

NTA, and good for you. It’s nice to help her out, but she’s being rude and inconsiderate, and it’s not being “too rigid” for setting a boundary to protect your own job and sticking to it.

CoverCharacter8179 said:

Obviously NTA, frankly the only thing that's unclear is why you need to ask. You explicitly told her in advance that you wouldn't wait, for the very justifiable reason that you were getting in trouble with your work because she kept making you late.

What else is there to say? (As an aside, there is no more stupid, uninformed, illogical group of people in the world than the unnamed mutual friends of people who post on AITA.)

AnyDecision470 said:

NTA. Me? I’d text her a heads-up: “On my way; be waiting outside” - then roll to a stop to pick her up. If she’s not outside, wait two minutes then go. She’s not a good judge of time. She’s not a good friend, making you late. She’s not talking to you anyway, so she’s no longer your problem.