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'I'm planning to leave my cheating GF with no warning while she's on a work trip. AITA?' UPDATED

'I'm planning to leave my cheating GF with no warning while she's on a work trip. AITA?' UPDATED


"AITA? My partner doesn't know I found out she is cheating again on me."

Here's the original post:

So my partner cheated on me over a year ago for over a year and I found out. trying to do the give a 2nd chance yadda. Then while on a trip found out that she is still talking sh!t about me to the guy and cheating on me with him still. Now she doesn't know that I'm planning on just moving out no notice no nothing.

We have a big trip planned for September/ Oct that I've already set up to be canceled and am going to use that money instead to move and get my new place. She thinks she was sly and that I wouldn't pay attention but I did.

So now she's going to come back to a nice empty place and everything I bought on my credit card or debit card is coming with me. The couch, random Ikea stuff. So am I the a-hole for doing this or not?

What do you think? AITA? Or is this move totally justified? This is what top commenters had to say:


just remember to close any legal duty you may have to her... that she can't sue you or something... Once you do, get away from there and move... By the way, remember to keep evidence of her deception, you don't want her to try to play the victim and you the villain, so just in case, keep proof of your innocence.


Put me on Team Say Nothing. No extra messages to leave on table, cameras to capture her expression, whatever. All of that is just prolonging the connection. The biggest impact will be her walking into her dear domicile and finding it as devoid of you and anything to do with you as if you had never existed.

The shock of your complete, utter absence won’t be enhanced by decorating it with cutting remarks. Plain, stark, gone says it all.


NTA. She deserves it.


Let her come home to nothing. She did this to herself. Also, get tested. That dude might not be the only one.


Please just send her a text as soon as you've moved out that reads "Change of plans... decided on something different" without any further elaboration, stop replying at all (but don't block her, so she can shout into the void), and update us.

Two months later, OP shared this update:

My plan ended up going even better than I thought it could. My partner had a trip for work come up about a week before our big vacation was supposed to be. She would be gone for 3 days. I had movers ready to load the truck and got a new position for work that even got a chunky raise. Despite thoughts of just being a total monster, I was an adult to a degree.

After checking with a lawyer to make sure everything was good. I took everything I owned and bought. We did not live together long enough for unmarried partner ownership laws to apply in our state. She returned to a half-empty kitchen, with no couch, TVs, table, or bed (decided to take that one to the dump instead).

Now I couldn't give details before but. This person had been cheating on me for the last 21/2 years. She had been sleeping with her boss who I was close with and considered a friend. She left herself signed into Facebook on my laptop one day. I thought it would be amusing to troll a little bit and message some people memes and whatnot.

Well, when I clicked on who I thought was my friend to message the chat log right off the bat told me otherwise. After spending 3 hours reading everything seeing all the lies and what's been happening.

When she got home confronted her and she broke down and admitted it was all a mistake and has been trying to break it off. I know I am an idiot for giving her another chance. I talked with my ex-friend and told him to stay the hell away from her and some other choice words.

Fast-forward a year and one day she left her phone at home by accident. Being a terrible person, I wanted to just see if she had been honest and wasn't still cheating. Sure enough 4 text messages in are her sending him a sexy pic. The thing that hurt me the most was her telling him how I do all these terrible things to her and say things to her. I did everything I could for this woman.

I cooked dinner every night even if I worked 12 hours, got snacks and treats for her all night filled her drinks. Did 90% of the cleaning and chores. All for her to make me seem like a monster to someone who I really looked up to and considered a friend.

So the point that you monsters all care about: I left her a note on the door. I explained I was gone, and I did not want any more contact I took everything I bought and owned. Told her that I found out she had been lying and was still cheating. Told her I would keep it to myself and both of us move on.

She decided that she wanted to go to war. Went on socials, calling friends and family telling them I left, and did all kinds of things. She did not know that I copied every log that day on Facebook and copied everything from her phone.

Turned over proof to the HR department of her and her boss's affair including all the logs of them admitting and bragging about things they did in the office that were against all kinds of policies. Her boss has been demoted and is being transferred. She has been demoted. Her own family is on my side now after I showed them everything.

I told her to leave it alone and now she has nothing left, her family isn't talking to her, and an empty house that she can't afford (she never wanted me on the lease because her landlord didn't want me on it). Favorite quote " I love the smell of napalm in the morning." She effed around and found out.

But thank you to the few who chatted with me and helped me not feel so alone. The last few days of waking up in my new place and figuring out what I want to do now without that cloud have been so freeing.

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