'AITA for letting my family face natural consequences after they belittled me?'
"AITA for letting my family face natural consequences after they belittled me?"
I(30f) have always been a planner my entire life. I refuse to just wing it on vacations or in my life in general because I have a tendency of not having good luck. So when I was asked to go on a family vacation Cruise in October, I immediately jumped onto the internet, reddit, and various other sources to start learning about cruises and all of the information I should know prior to going.
My family (mom, dad, bro, SIL, sis, BIL and their kids (1yr-6yr)) are a bunch of just wing it and we will figure it out as we get there. My bro and SIL have two kids (2yrs and 4yrs). My Sister and BIL have two kids (1yr and 6yrs).
They were going to take an Uber from the airport to the hotel when I asked what they were planning. They did no research into this and didn't know that Uber doesn't have carseats.
I did that research because I want to ensure my son (2yrs) is safe. I ended up going with a car rental cause I can rent carseats from the company. I told my mother this information first saying that I didn't see Uber's option for carseats and she told me that I really need to learn to relax.
I said I rented a car and would meet them there. My mom told my siblings this at our cookout today and they started belittling me about how I can't just let it go and figure it out when I get there. Not to mention, on the cruise, this ship doesn't allow babies into the pools. They don't have any options for young toddlers or babies for swimming.
I said this too today at our cookout and was told "you always worry. No one is going to care if our kids are in the pool. No one is going to throw you off the ship. Just shut up already. Stop being ridiculous and defeatist.
Your attitude is BS and quite frankly, we are done with having you go because we get a novel of nonsense we have to read on text about all of the stuff we can't do or BS about where we go. Just let it go. We will figure it out as we get to that."
WIBTA if I left them at the airport to "Figure it out"? WIBTA if I just got my money back from this "family vacation"? Because I feel like these companies give rules to follow and my siblings don't care if their kids bathroom in the pools and shut down the pools for everyone?
And just to add, I only sent them "novels" of information in text because I know several suffer from sea sickness so I read about room placement can help with that along with some certain meds being more effective especially if you take them before the cruise leaves.
And I also read about certain rooms being above or below casinos, clubs, and such can hear the noise and I thought they would want to know so they could choose wisely. Now I wish I hadn't sent anything and let them and their kids figure it out.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
NTA - I would cancel your plans to go with them on this cruise. Not only are they bad parents for their kiddies, but I don’t like how they talk to you. Who says “just shut up” to their beloved family member?
Right! At this point, the only reason to go would be to witness the chaos that will inevitably happen.
NTA. Let them go by themselves and tell them to have fun! Then put your phone on silent before they start calling you a hundred times for help.
Go on the trip. Your sis and bro and their families won’t make it to the ship in time and even if they do, they will be kicked off within the first day with their attitude and you can enjoy the rest of the vacation without them causing issue.
Seriously though - cruise ships do NOT play around. When they say they will leave without you, they will. Same goes for any breaking of rules onboard. They can and will disembark anyone breaking rules.
runningouttahere (OP)
Thats exactly what I said that they will leave without us and that they don't play around with the rules. It's not a simple slap on the wrist from what I've been reading. I've heard of fights happening and those fighting were kicked off at the next port and told to find alternate travel arrangements.
NTA. You probably won't be able to get your money back from the cruise at this point. I like to be prepared, too. It makes me feel better instead of anxious. I would stop worrying about them and just worry about yourself. Let them figure things out. Hop off the airplane and get yourself to the cruise ship and boarded.
Don't wait while they figure things out. If their kids shut the pool down, there is usually an adults only pool you can go to. They will be the ones to deal with the little kids crying to go in the pool when they can't. Enjoy your vacation, just avoid the drama.
NTA… there’s no way babies and toddlers are getting into the pool on a cruise ship, they have so many staff monitoring things so closely that the parents are going to have an extremely rude awakening.
I would suggest to go, stop trying to help them in any capacity, do all the planning for your own little family unit to have a smooth and chaos free time and watch them unravel when things don’t just work themselves out.
That is… if they even make it onto the ship before it departs. Get used to saying “that’s not my problem” and “well, you didn’t want my help, it’s too late now.” And “what a pity… see you after our excursion”.
Have been on cruises with family and you can go and let them fend for themselves. It’s amazing how much room is on that ship. Also book your excursions- don’t wait until on the ship as the good ones are full. Enjoy.
NTA. However, knowing how your family handles your information you should stop sending it. Apparently, they think it’s overbearing. I’m also a planner and make sure I have things in order before I travel etc.
Many times I’ve had the last laugh but just went on my merry way because I knew the rules and regulations. Personally, I wouldn’t want to travel with your extended family and opt for a trip with just immediate family. Update, please.