'AITA for letting my husband raise another man's kids for 12 years because he was the better provider?'
"AITA for letting my husband raise another man's kids for 12 years because he was the better provider?"
My husband raised my affair partner's twins for 12 years and I only told him the truth after he found the DNA test results I'd hidden in my closet. I got pregnant during a rough patch in our marriage.
My husband was working constantly and we barely talked anymore. I met someone at work who actually listened to me. Things happened. I found out I was pregnant with twins and I panicked.
My husband and I had been trying for kids for years. Nothing worked. Then suddenly I'm pregnant and he's over the moon. He cried when I told him. He held me and said it was a miracle.
I couldn't tell him. I just couldn't.
The affair ended before the twins were born. The other guy moved across the country for a job. I blocked him everywhere. My husband was an amazing dad from day one. He did night feedings. He changed diapers. He coached their soccer teams. He was there for every school event.
I told myself it didn't matter. He loved them. They loved him. That was enough. But I got paranoid last year. The twins started looking more and more like the other guy. My daughter has his eyes. My son has his smile. I ordered a DNA test just to know for sure.
My husband found the results three months ago. He didn't yell. He didn't cry. He just stared at me and asked, "How long have you known?" I broke down. I told him everything. I begged him to understand. I said the twins needed him. I said I'd made a mistake but our family was real. He moved out that night.
My parents lost it when they found out why. My mom called me crying. She said I needed to fix this. She said my husband was being selfish for abandoning the kids over biology. My dad said real men don't run from their responsibilities.
My sister organized this whole intervention thing. She got my parents, my in-laws, and some friends together at our house. They all sat my husband down and told him he needed to forgive me. My mom said, "Those children have known you as their father for 12 years. You can't just throw that away."
My husband sat there quiet the whole time. Then he said, "I'm not throwing anything away. She did. 12 years ago." My father-in-law tried to reason with him. He said, "Think about what's best for the kids. They need stability."
My husband looked right at him and said, "Then their mother should have thought about that before she lied to me for over a decade." He left after that. Blocked everyone. Hired a lawyer. Filed for divorce.
I thought maybe he'd cool down. Maybe he'd realize what he was losing. Then our 15th anniversary came up two weeks ago. We'd already sent out invitations for a big party months before everything happened.
I called him and said we should still have it. We could show everyone we were working things out. He could move back home. We could go to therapy.
He said okay.
I was so relieved. I told my family. They were all coming to celebrate our reconciliation. My mom ordered a cake. My sister helped me pick out a new dress. Even my in-laws said they'd be there.
The party was beautiful. Everyone showed up.
My husband arrived right on time wearing a suit. He smiled. He hugged people. He played with the twins.
I thought we were really going to make it. Then he stood up and tapped his glass. He thanked everyone for coming. He said he had an announcement to make about our marriage. I thought he was going to propose we renew our vows or something.
He pulled out envelopes. Big manila envelopes with everyone's names on them. He handed them out to every single person at the party. My parents. His parents. My siblings. Our friends. Our neighbors. Even the twins.
"I wanted you all to be here when I shared this," he said. "Since you all had so much to say about my marriage and my responsibilities."
My mom opened hers first. Her face went white.
They were the DNA test results. Certified copies with official stamps. He'd sent them to a lab and had them verified. There was a letter attached explaining everything. How long I'd lied. How I'd let him bond with children who weren't his. How I'd only told him because he found out on his own.
The twins opened theirs. My daughter started crying. My son just stared at the paper. My sister screamed at him. She called him cruel. She said he was traumatizing the children.
He looked right at her and said, "Their mother traumatized them the day she decided to build their entire lives on a lie. I'm just the one who stopped pretending."
Then he looked at me. His face was completely calm.
"You wanted everyone here to celebrate our marriage," he said. "Now they all know exactly what they'd be celebrating."
He walked out. The party fell apart. People didn't know where to look. My mom was sobbing. My dad looked like he'd aged 10 years. The twins ran to their rooms.
My phone has been blowing up for two weeks. Half the people think he went too far. The other half think I got what I deserved. My parents are barely speaking to me. My in-laws sent me a text that just said, "You did this to yourself."
The twins won't talk to me. My daughter locked herself in her room. My son asked me who his real father is and I didn't know what to tell him. My lawyer says the divorce is going through fast. My husband is giving up all parental rights. He's not asking for custody or visitation. He's just walking away.
My sister says I should fight it. She says he bonded with them and he owes them stability. My mom says I should sue him for abandonment. But I can't stop thinking about his face at that party. How calm he was. How planned everything was. Was I really wrong for trying to give my kids a good father even if it meant keeping the truth from him?