Man sues ex-wife for full custody after 'letting' child get hurt exploring old mine. AITA?
"AITA for 'letting' my kid get hurt on an adventure and now my ex wants full custody?"
So, my kids and I went on a little adventure. Just a drive down some dirt roads, exploring, making memories. At one point, I spotted an old mine up on a hill—rusty equipment, history frozen in time.
It looked cool, so we parked and started climbing up to check it out. We couldn’t get inside, but it was still worth the trip. The kids were having fun, and I thought it was one of those little moments they’d look back on fondly. And then, the way back down.
I told my five-year-old not to run. I warned him. But, being five, he took off anyway. And, of course, he slipped, loose rocks, bad footing, the whole thing. He scraped up his hands and knees pretty badly… and then, to make things even worse, he landed in a cactus.
Cue tears, pain, and me suddenly in full-on crisis mode. I carried him and my toddler back to the car, got all the little thorns out, cleaned up most of the scrapes, but one gash on his shin was deep enough to need stitches.
I put some butterfly strips on it, had my oldest keep a towel pressed against it, and drove straight to urgent care. As soon as I had phone signal, I called my ex-husband to let him know what happened.
Told him our son needed stitches, that I was taking him in, and that I’d video call once we were at urgent care so he could see everything. And I did exactly that—he was on video the whole time while our son got his stitches.
I figured that was the end of it. But nope. He calls me later, after work, and just goes off. Tells me I’m a terrible mom for letting our kid get hurt, that this is proof I’m irresponsible, and says that it's a good thing we haven’t signed the divorce papers yet, because now he’s going to push for full custody.
(Which, by the way, is ridiculous considering he’s seen the kids one day since Thanksgiving.) So, AITA for letting my kid explore and handling an accident like any normal parent would?
Editing to add cuz I'm tired of explaining this over and over and over. I grew up doing this. my dad still takes us to do this when we go camping with him. I was also 2 semesters away from completing my bachelor's in archeology and geology (ex was afraid I'd make more money then him and belittled me until I stopped going).
I'm not an idiot. If the mine was open, we wouldn't have gone more than 10 or 20 feet. If I could find the vein I was trying to show the kids. If I couldn't find it, we would have left. If it was unstable, we wouldn't have gone in either. This was a weekend activity I did everything weekend growing up, not new at this whatsoever.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
This is the same guy who didn't want to take the kids when you were having a medical emergency? As long as you have proof of that, I think you're going to be fine in court. Update me.
Grand_Secret50 (OP)
yep same one lol
Ha ha. Make sure the judge knows that you had to take your youngest to the ER with you because he wouldn't help. As a mom of 3, I can just picture that "don't run" moment. I thought you were going to say one of them got poked by rusty mining equipment. You are doing just fine, and he's going to look like an idiot in court.
NTA a few bumps and scraps are just part of childhood.
NTA for the kid getting hurt but you are one for letting your small children, or any children, play on/near rusty equipment near an abandoned mine. As a latchkey millennial I played on many questionable things but that doesn't mean it was okay. Having lived in a place with abandoned mines and working mines as a child those are no places to bring kids to play.
No wait... Back the hell up. YOU TRIED TO TAKE CHILDREN INTO AN OLD MINE????!!???!?!? That is insanely dangerous. Just stupidly dangerous. The fact that you tired shows a lack of common sense. Even walking around an old mine is dangerous.
The trip and fall was not a big deal. Things happen. But damn, this story could have just as easily ended with people finding your car and never finding the bodies of you and your children.
For future reference OP do not go messng around near old mines that is way more faint than you think. Old holes, abandoned shafts, hidden endless wells, and chemicals are not good to go around and she be left alone.
NTA for the incident. It's pretty normal for kids to have minor accidents when they overestimate their abilities. Old mines aren't fun, though. There can be concealed mineshafts in the ground around them, and you have no idea the grass has overgrown them until you fall in neck-deep or worse.
Trying to go inside one is a death wish; abandoned mines don't have anyone maintaining wall stabilisation and you never know when it could collapse on you. Also, you have no idea what the air quality is like in there. The expression canary in a coal mine exists for a reason: they used birds to help them tell when they were at risk of being poisoned.
You would have been in way more than "crisis-mode" if you had taken your small children into AN ABANDONED MINE and something bad had happened in there. STAY THE FUDGE OUT OF MINES.
NTA for a five year old foolishly running into a cactus. That is the kind of stuff that teaches children life lessons. You absolutely ARE INSANE for even THINKING ABOUT taking small children into an abandoned mine. Something tells me your ex is pissed for WAY MORE than this one incident.
NTA! Kids get hurt. That’s life. You warned him, he ran, he learned. And you handled it like a pro. Your ex is just looking for an excuse—if he actually cared, he’d be around more. He’s not mad about the accident; he’s mad he wasn’t there to pretend to care in person.
Grand_Secret50 (OP)
oh no he wouldnt care if he were there, he would have yelled at our 5 year old for not listening instead of just getting things done.