'AITA for letting my friend’s brothers into the hotel room when he’s not dressed?'

"AITA for letting my friend’s brothers into the hotel room when he’s not dressed?"

I (27m) have lived with my best friend “Jack” (27m) since I was 18. The entire time I knew Jack he never wore clothes when we were home alone, just underwear, maybe a sweatshirt in the winter. I remember being mildly annoyed about when we first moved in together, but quickly it just became part of the routine. I’ve asked him about it, and he said that “it’s something cross country people do.”

I don’t do cross country so maybe someone else can verify lol. For what it’s worth he does always wear clothes when we have visitors over, with the exception of his girlfriend. Anyway he has two brothers that he’s very close to, but I only met them a handful of times back when we were in college because they are married with kids now so Jack typically goes to visit them.

His brothers never really came to our dorm when they visited years ago. But anyway recently they decided to take a Vegas trip and Jack invited me along. We get two hotel rooms, Jack and I in one and his brothers in another.

We were all going to meet in the hotel bar at 8. Jack and I were both showered and hanging out in the hotel room by 7, Jack as usual just in underwear. His brothers texting the group chat if we could hang. I guess Jack didn’t look at his phone, but I texted them we were drinking and should come by.

They kind of just burst into the hotel room a few minutes later and Jack stands up surprised and starts throwing on clothes. His brothers tease him a bit about his underwear but from what I’ve seen and heard they kind of all rib on each other about everything. Jack seems embarrassed, which is odd, but we move on. His brothers bring it up a few more times as we’re out.

Anyway Jack tells me when we’re going to bed (he’s kinda drunk at this point), that he’s not mad but he was embarrassed. I tell him how was I supposed to know, he literally never wears clothes and they're his brothers.

He then starts to get mad, saying he understands it was a mistake but I should feel bad, but I just can’t bring myself to make it a big deal. He got over it, but then when get back Sunday he got weird about it again and I feel like this is so dragged out. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

LelandHeron wrote:

NTA: But it sounds like Jack sure might be.

Given his embarrassment in this situation, you have to question his claim on why he goes around his home in his underwear.

No different than if Jack was in a locker room and more boys came into the locker room...and these are his brothers not strangers. Yeah, I know a "home" is not a locker room, but Jack's behavior (always in his underwear) sort of implies he treats his home like one.

In other words, if Jack isn't embarrassed to be in front of a friend in his underwear, there is no reason you should ever expect he would be embarrassed to be that way in front of his brothers.

phunkjnky wrote:

Eh, this is so weird. My brother ran cross country, and many of my friends have run cross-country. This is NOT something cross-country runners just do, writ large. This is something HE does, and blames cross country.

This is not a judgment.

Wild_Ticket1413 wrote:

Did they have a key to your hotel room or did you leave the door cracked? Because you can't just "burst into" someone's hotel room if the door is closed.

But yeah, you should have let him know that they were on their way, regardless of whether or not he was dressed. That's just common courtesy.

OP responded:

We both have a key to each other's hotel rooms.

big_foot_big_itch wrote:

I say you are NTA. If he hangs like that around the house all the time that’s on him. When living with roommates I say you can’t expect privacy in common spaces. Bathroom bedroom are your private spaces. When in a hotel yeah don’t let him in when he’s changing but if that’s how he’s chilling that’s on him IMO.

Why TF a grown man hanging out in his chonies all the time like it’s normal with roommates and then doesn’t have the confidence to be seen by his gawl dern brothers or hell anyone for that matter. 🤣

LivinRightnBeFree wrote:

NTA. I feel like there may be something missing here, like his brothers thinking that you are a couple and that they thought they interrupted something. That or they were teasing him about it as if you were a couple. That would explain why he felt embarrassed but didn't want to tell you that part.

Many brothers will ruthlessly tease each other about anything and being gay is something that is often flippantly accused of being as kids. Sometimes people don't grow out of it and keep the theme going. Though it's offensive, they may also be the same people that would embrace the family member they were teasing if they came out. That may be the case here.

Sea-Sprite wrote:

NTA. You're not responsible for what others do & you're not responsible for how your friend is handling his emotions. It's not your job to guess how his friends & family will react to his choices. If he's worried about it, he needs to make different choices. Tell him it's not your fault he didn't explain he wouldn't like others to see him in underwear.

vanbarbecue wrote:

I am going with NTA. Because I would find it a reasonable assumption that someone that is comfortable being around friends in their underwear is probably also comfortable around their brothers. That seems like it would be a habit that started in the home and not right when you started living together. The assumption was wrong after all, but I don’t think it makes you an AH.

Middle-Accountant-49 wrote:

NTA.

Its really weird that he wears underwear around you and paints it as 'normal', but not around his brothers.