'WIBTA for not letting my SIL 'redo' her ruined gender reveal at my birthday party?' UPDATED

"WIBTA for not letting my sister-in-law 'redo' her ruined gender reveal at my birthday party?"

So, I'm turning 24 next week and I planned this chill backyard BBQ for my birthday. Nothing huge just friends, burgers, a cute little cake, and maybe some corny dancing once people get tipsy enough.

Here’s where the weird part comes in. My sister-in-law (husband’s sister) recently had a gender reveal party that honestly went straight into the cringe hall of fame. They ordered one of those big black balloons full of colored powder, except when her husband popped it, NOTHING came out. Like... zero. Nada. The balloon just deflated sadly while everyone stood there awkwardly clapping at the sound of failure.

Anyway, I felt bad for her, sure. But now she’s asking if she can “just do a small redo” of the reveal at my birthday party. I laughed at first because I thought she was joking. Spoiler: she wasn’t. She said since family will already be there, it just makes sense and would “bring some excitement” to the day.

I told her nicely (I swear) that I kind of wanted my birthday to be, you know... about my birthday? She got all pouty and said I was being selfish and that it’s just one “little moment.” My husband is staying out of it like it’s a Hunger Games situation and he doesn't wanna get reaped.

I just don’t want my day hijacked by confetti cannons and awkward cheering while everyone pretends they didn’t already find out it’s a boy on Facebook last week (yeah, she accidentally posted it early).

So... WIBTA if I told her no? I don’t want to sound mean, but I kinda feel like my once-a-year celebration shouldn’t turn into a sequel to her balloon fail.

Edit: I should clarify, she really did post “It’s a boy” the same night her original reveal flopped, so it’s not even a surprise anymore!! But now she wants to do a new reveal with cupcakes or something?? Girl I just want ribs and cake.

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

Snarky75 said:

Tell her staight up = We know it's a boy! It is my birthday and I don't want anything else that day.

OP responded:

LOL right?? I’m tempted to show up to my own party with a balloon that says “It’s MY day” just to make a point haha!! Might have to write it on the cake too at this rate. But fr, I think I will just tell her straight no more side quests at my birthday.

luddyxd said:

It’s your birthday, not her gender reveal sequel. Your birthday is once a year. Her gender reveal already happened and flopped. That’s not your problem.

OP responded:

Exactly!! Thank you, I was starting to feel like maybe I was being too petty, but like... I only get one birthday a year where I’m not just someone's wife/sister/friend, I’m the main character for once! Let me have my ribs and vibes without surprise blue cupcakes showing up like a plot twist no one asked for.

CeramicSavage said:

She's going to do it anyway. Be prepared. Nta.

(Stay tuned to find out if CeramicSavage was, in fact, correct...)

And GorditaPollo suggested:

Put an a4 sheet on your front door ‘sisters having a boy. Yay.’ Print it in blue if you’ve got the ink.

Two days later, she shared this satisfying update:

So. The BBQ birthday bash happened yesterday. Let’s start with the good: my friends showed up, the ribs were perfect, my cake said “It’s MY Day” in giant pink letters like some of you suggested, and the vibes were exactly what I hoped for lawn chairs, cold drinks, bad dancing, and no small children running around with frosting in their ears.

Now for the spicy part. As predicted, my sister-in-law did not give up on the gender reveal sequel idea. She showed up with a tray of cupcakes. I already had a feeling. The way she was holding them like they were the crown jewels? Yeah, no.

I pulled her aside and (politely!) said something like, “Hey, I know you put effort into those but I really want today to be just about the birthday. We all saw the Facebook post, there’s no mystery left.”

She got that tight smile people do when they’re trying not to yell in public and said, “Wow, I didn’t think cupcakes would be so controversial.” I shrugged and said, “Well, they’re not... unless they come with an unsolicited plot twist.”

She sulked for a bit. My husband tried to step in and smooth things over but honestly? I didn’t let it ruin my day. She ended up setting the cupcakes down on the table and didn’t make an announcement or anything but about halfway through the party, people were like, “Hey these cupcakes are filled with blue icing?” and I had to do my best “surprised face.”

So yeah. She tried to sneak it in. But everyone already knew and honestly, no one really reacted. It was the most anti-climactic gender reveal round 2 ever. Someone literally said, “Oh cute” and then asked me to pass the potato salad.

I think the best part is that my cousin brought a balloon that said “It’s a Girl!” for me. As in: it’s MY day, back off. I died laughing. SIL did not. Anyway, no massive blow-ups, no screaming matches, just a little passive-aggressive frosting and a lot of laughter. I got my birthday, she got her awkward cupcakes, and life moves on.

Thanks again to everyone who hyped me up and gave solid advice. I’m saving the glitter bomb idea for next year.

TL;DR: SIL tried it. I shut it down. Cupcakes got served. So did boundaries.

Yay for cupcakes and boundaries!