'AITA for not letting my sister and her friends have my house for her birthday weekend?' 'She lives at home.'
"AITA for not letting my sister and her friends have my house for her bday weekend?"
I (25F) live in the basement unit of my friend’s house. It is a complete separate unit and I pay rent, however the big backyard is a shared space. My younger sister Teresa (22F), lives at home with my parents still, which is about 20 mins from my house.
It is Teresa’s bday in a couple weekends, on the long weekend, and she has asked me to give up my house from Friday to Monday so her and 12 of her friends who I’ve met maybe once can party without my parents being around. I told her I would be fine with them staying for one night of the weekend (either Saturday to Sunday, or Sunday to Monday)...
But I would not want to give my place up for the full weekend. She said that will not work because her friend Samantha has her bday a day after and they both want to have a full day of partying, therefore they would need to be partying Saturday and Sunday and won’t be able to leave Sunday night.
Teresa usually has her bday celebration for a weekend at our cottage however it is under renovations this year and is not available. I have seen how the cottage looks after the weekend and it is absolutely trashed and not cleaned up whatsoever, stains and food everywhere and the floor is covered in sticky, old drinks.
My parents also never do anything to make Teresa see that’s very inconsiderate, so she continues to do it. She has given options to me like they will all tent in the backyard and won’t bother me if I’m there, but they will still have to use my kitchen for food and my bathroom, and there’s no way if 12 people who are 22 years old see two bedrooms they won’t use the bed.
Also, after 3 days of partying I’m sure people will be puking, I don’t trust they will clean that up either in the backyard or my bathroom. It is also a shared backyard, I don’t feel comfortable letting a bunch of random people in the backyard for 3 days straight when my friend, who owns the house, will most likely want to use the backyard at some point.
Teresa is now mad at me calling me an asshole for not letting her party in my backyard and basement unit all weekend, and says now she’ll do nothing for her bday now because all cottages or campsites within a 5 hour drive are all booked up. I said it is not my fault that her and her friends have decided to start planning a week and a half before the long weekend.
I think my offer for one night is nice enough considering I don’t know any of her friends very well, and I know I’ll be cleaning up after them the next day. She refuses to only party for one day and night though. So am I the ahole for not letting my sister use my house for the full long weekend for her bday?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
WholeAd2742 said:
NTA. First of all, it's not YOUR property to lend out, let alone the risk and liabilities of random folks drinking and tearing up the place. Sister needs to check her entitlement.
ImaBtchCaroleBaskin said:
Tell her your landlord said no. End of discussion.
AdGreedy8386 said:
NTA. That is a legal liability you don’t want to take on. Tell them to book a hotel like normal people. Their failure to plan properly does not constitute an emergency on your part.
NTA. You don't even own the house. You're renting a room. If your sister wants to party, she should rent her own venue for that. I notice that your parents aren't volunteering the house where she actually lives for this party, either. There's a good reason for that.
flovarian said:
NTA—especially since this partying crowd could potentially get you evicted. “A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.”
Realistic_Head4279 said:
NTA. Wow, your sister is sure entitled! To expect you to accommodate her demanding request is totally out of line. You were much more generous than I would have been with the offer you made. In no universe is it your responsibility to turn over your place to her and her friends as she is demanding. Besides, her activities could likely annoy your friend and neighbors and you don't want that.