'AITA for liking all of my husband's secretary's instagram selfies?' 'She’s supposed to be answering his phones.'
"AITA for liking all of my husband's secretary's instagram selfies?"
I (28F) moved with my husband Tony (30M) from a beautiful city in the mountains to basically nowhere Illinois for his promotion. He’s always been super work focused, which I used to admire, so I agreed to go along with it and move.
After we got here I really struggled. I’ve got 2 toddlers, I’m socially awkward as hell, and meeting new people is hard for me. The only people I really knew here were a younger couple, Lauren (24F) and Matt (25M). Matt works under Tony, and Lauren and I were friendly but not like best friends or anything.
Anyway, one day Lauren reached out and told me something she thought I needed to know. Apparently Tony set up this little “lunch spot” on the roof at work. Like he had a canopy, a blanket, the whole setup. He had told me he ate up there ALONE for peace and quiet. But turns out he was actually up there every single day with his receptionist Becky (22F).
Lauren sent me Becky’s insta so I could see for myself. And sure enough Tony not only follows her but has gone through and liked basically every selfie she has ever posted. Which stung, because he completely left out that she was up there with him every day.
Plus she’s supposed to be answering his phones not hanging out on a picnic blanket on the roof with her boss. It just felt fishy. Fishy enough that Matt even brought it up to Lauren and then Lauren told me.
At first I didn’t even want to be mad at Becky. For all I knew she didn’t even know I existed. (One time I went to his office and his coworkers were like shocked he was even married with kids… that’s a whole other thing). So I thought of a way to make sure she knew. Since Tony liked all her selfies, I went through and liked the exact same ones.
That’s it. No comments, no follow request, nothing. Just likes. I figured she’d see me, click my profile, and realize oh, Tony has a wife and 2 toddlers at home. If it was innocent, she’d just think I was weird. If it wasn’t, she’d know I was on to them.
So I did it. I liked the same posts Tony had. Then Tony completely lost it. Called me yelling that I was creating drama that could cost him his job. He kept saying nothing inappropriate was happening and I was overreacting. But like…actually sleeping with your receptionist would cost you your job. Your wife liking a couple of selfies?? Not so much.
Now he says I’m dramatic, invasive, unprofessional, and that I embarrassed him. From my POV though he lied by omission, made it sound like he was up there alone, and downplayed the fact he’s literally having lunch every day with this 22-year-old receptionist. So…AITA for liking my husband’s receptionist’s selfies?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
dangersiren said:
HAHAHAHHAHAHA omg, he is so ridiculous. If there’s nothing wrong with him liking her selfies, what’s wrong with you doing it? Why is he acting like he’s someone he isn’t at work? Hiding that you have a family is weird AF. Extremely suspicious behavior. He knows he’s in the wrong and he’s caught, and now he’s DARVO-ing you. Don’t fall for it. Get your crap in order.
romydainty said:
Both of you messy here. Him sneaking rooftop hangs and liking every thirst pic is shady as heck, but you petty-liking all her selfies back just escalated it. Y’all need a convo, not Instagram warfare.
Ok-Sherbet-2840 said:
This guy thinks he is Jim Halpert except this time Jim does cheat with that younger receptionist replacing pam. NTA.
xpl0sad3 said:
NTA. His reaction tells a lot more than any other info, OP get a divorce lawyer and get out of butt f nowhere.
lihzee said:
Hard NTA. If I’m understanding the story right, your husband has been liking his coworker’s posts and weirdly going out to lunch with this person and keeping his marriage status a secret. I’m still unclear on how Lauren knew about these lunches but that’s neither here nor there.
Your reaction was passive aggressive, but actually quite smart. He was caught. Now he’s blaming you? LOL. He sounds like a real piece of work! You liking his coworker’s pictures DOES NOT put his job at risk. It’s not like you said anything…Only his behavior could. Don’t let this mega tool try to reinvent history.
Remarkable-0815 said:
Your husband is cheating (or, maybe just planning/trying to, but what's the point in making that distinction) on you with his secretary and you liked her posts on insta. YTA to yourself for not getting a lawyer.