'AITA for 'embarrassing' my husband by 'liking' all his receptionist’s selfies?' UPDATED

"AITA for liking my husband’s receptionist’s selfies?"

I (28F) moved with my husband Tony (30M) from a beautiful mountain city to what honestly feels like bum-f@&k nowhere in Illinois so he could take a promotion. He’s always been very work-oriented, and that was something I admired about him when we first met, so I agreed to support him and move.

After the move, I struggled. I have two toddlers, I’m socially awkward, and it’s hard for me to meet new people. The only people I knew here were a younger couple (Lauren 24F and Matt 25M) who moved with us because Matt works directly under my husband. Lauren and I were friendly, though not super close.

One day, Lauren reached out because she thought I should know something. Apparently, Tony had set up a little “lunch spot” on the roof at work — a canopy, blanket, the whole thing. But instead of eating up there alone (like he’d told me), he was up there every day with his 22F receptionist, Becky.

Lauren even sent me Becky’s Instagram so I could see for myself. That’s when I noticed Tony not only followed her but had gone through and “liked” all of her selfies. That stung, because he’d completely left out the part about her joining him for lunch every day.

On top of that, she’s supposed to be answering his phones, not picnicking on the roof. So it felt… fishy. Fishy enough for Matt to notice and for Lauren to feel like I should know.

I decided not to be mad at Becky. For all I knew, she didn’t even know I existed — which didn’t feel impossible since, when I once stopped by his work, some of his coworkers seemed shocked to learn he was even married. So I came up with an idea: if Tony is “liking” all of her selfies, then I’d go through and like those same exact posts.

No comments, no follow request, nothing else — just the same “likes.” My thinking was that she’d notice, click on my profile, and realize Tony has a wife and children. That way, if anything shady was going on, she’d know I was aware. If it was innocent, maybe she’d just think I was weird for checking her out. Either way I knew she would tell Tony.

Well, Tony blew up at me. He called saying I could cost him his job with “drama.” He insisted nothing inappropriate was happening and that I was overreacting. But to me, it felt backward: actually sleeping with your receptionist would be what loses you your job, not your wife “liking” a couple of Instagram posts

Now he says I’m being dramatic, invasive, and unprofessional, and that I embarrassed him. But from my perspective, he lied by omission, downplayed his daily lunches with Becky, and made it seem like he was up there alone. So, AITA for “liking” his receptionist’s Instagram selfies?

TL;DR: Husband has daily rooftop lunches with his 22F receptionist but told me he was eating alone. He follows her on Instagram and likes all her selfies. I went and liked the same posts so she’d know he has a wife and kids. He blew up at me, says I’m dramatic and could ruin his job. AITA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

CZ1988_ said:

NTA - It's a bad sign

Pitiful-Shallott said:

Super weird he has a picnic on the roof every day with another woman. Then the defensiveness… I’d be contacting a lawyer personally and document everything with screenshots. And his admittance when it happens.

ReleaseTheSlab said:

Nta I love this move. But now that Becky and husband are aware YOURE aware, I'd finally reach out to Becky myself. It's pretty obvious he's at least trying to have an affair, so I'd love to know what he said to Becky, whether she knew you existed, and how far it has gone.

MeesaMadeMeDoIt said:

Lol how are YOU being "unprofessional"? That's some clear projection, because if anything, a boss going through and liking all his receptionist selfies is what's unprofessional. And creepy...but his receptionist clearly doesn't think so, since they have picnics together. Either she enjoys the attention or she's actively interested in him. And mfer has the nerve to get mad at YOU.

SnooConfections5025 said:

You’re not being dramatic. Dramatic would be announcing it to the office. Him passing himself off as a single man is concerning and that other people noticed Liking posts is not dramatic, his reaction is

TN_Lamb888 said:

I wonder if this dude is wearing his wedding band to work?

OP responded:

Nope. He “lost” it in the ocean...

Dull-Geologist-8204 said:

NTA, as a women with mostly male friends I am used to women checking my profile and I am fine with it. I will even friend them if they send me a request. I am perfectly fine with the snooping. I get it and I have nothing to hide so 99% of the time it doesn't cause any drama.

The only way you liking her pics will cause drama is if he is up to no good. He just told on himself. Also your husband is not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Historical_Kick_3294 said:

Absolutely NTA. Your husband, on the other hand, is acting shady af. Thank goodness there are people in his company who thought you should know what was going on.

Key_Pay_493 said:

Yes, and Lauren is a real one.

OP responded:

She miiiiiight have just been interested in the fallout, but still. She’s the real MVP 👏🏻

She later shared this update:

I just heard from Lauren and she has the deets from Matt on what happened after I did the "liking." Apparently, Becky didn't see her instagram until her lunch break WHILE up on the roof with Tony. I don't know what her reaction to Tony was while on the roof but she came back down acting pissy.

She asked Matt "Did you know Tony has a wife?" to which Matt was honest about because he didn't know there was a lie he was supposed to be keeping. He let her know that yes, Tony is happily (haha) married with two kids. She did not like that answer. I assume she and Tony talked more after tha and it couldn't have been good if Tony came home concerned about losing his job.