Teen leaves her valedictorian party when sister gets new car from parents as a surprise. AITA?
"AITA? Little sister got a new car and I left the party."
Ok_Butterfly_9117
I (17F) and my sister (15F) used to get along great when we were kids.
Since I started high school, it feels like she takes all the attention.
Once she started going to my high school she got really popular. What’s annoying is that she acts really stupid and people seem to eat it up. She just giggles and does little dances most the time. I missed my senior prom because I didn’t have a date, and she went with one of the other seniors and hasn’t stopped talking about how much fun it was.
It was recently announced that I am the valedictorian! My Dad decided to have a party to celebrate (our Mom left when we were little). Honestly that felt really good, because even he seems to like my sister more.
We’re a sports family, and they’re always a pair on the couch and I’m like the third wheel trying to get their attention. He takes her to the mall to buy clothes all the time, whereas I have to take myself. I go to thrift stores because I don’t like clothes made in sweat shops.
She has her learners permit and soon will be 16 and get her drivers license. When I turned 16 my Aunt gave me her 2015 Nissan Versa which is always breaking down and smells bad because she used to smoke in it.
Every time there is a car commercial my sister every time sits on my Dad’s lap like she’s a little kid, and whines she wants a car for her birthday. It makes my eyes roll, but like I said, it feels like I don’t even exist to them sometimes. My sister’s birthday is also in May, and she is having a sweet 16 party on a rented boat. Mind you I simply had a family get together with cake for my 16th birthday.
Last week was the party at the house to celebrate my achievement, I was having a pretty good time at the start. My sister was up in her room taking forever to get ready, and when she came out I saw she had done everything she could to outdo me.
Her hair was curled, her makeup was done, she was in a really revealing fit. Everyone was staring at her and ignoring me. It sucked but I was trying to just focus on my core group of friends.
Then, as we’re all in the living room, we see through the big window that a truck with a trailer had pulled up. The driver comes unto the door, turns out it’s a BRAND NEW car for my sister from my Dad.
She’s crying and jumping around and hugging and kissing my Dad, everyone goes outside to look at the car. When this happens, I went out the back door, turned off my phone, and drove my 9 year old car all alone to the beach to be by myself.
When I came back, everyone was so angry and yelling. My Dad said he didn’t know they’d deliver the car during my party. My sister had clearly been crying and said she didn’t mean to hurt my feelings.
She said that she just wants to be a good sister and doesn’t know why I’m sad all the time. I feel so alone. Am I the the trie bad guy for leaving the party once her car came?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
many_hobbies_gal
NTA, but if I was your dad... YOU would have gotten the new car for your accomplishments and your sister would have gotten your versa since she will just be starting to learn to drive. You did nothing wrong and the fact you were slighted by both of them at your own celebration, well, they need to recognize what they are doing to you.
Meanwhile you have to learn to start taking care of you. Apparently she is daddy's little girl and will always be, figure out a way not to compete with it. It's not you, it's your father.
Circa1205
NTA. Congratulations! You deserve every bit of happiness and success that you can achieve. Go to college, get a great job, and when Daddy’s spoiled little princess bleeds his bank account dry and they have no money because your sister can’t hold down a job or education, they’ll come crying to you.
That’s when you show them you get from a relationship what you put into it. Ignore them, shut the door in their face, openly celebrate every achievement you make and live your best life.
Puzzleheaded-Sign-46
NTA It wasn't your party in the first place. Your sister and dad wanted to take it over and did. And there's no way that they didn't give your dad a delivery day for a car. Congratulations on valedictorian by the way.
Violetunderwater
So NTA but I would sit down with your dad and talk to him about how you feel. Use the examples you provided here. You say it was a new car but was it new to her (still used) or new off the lot?
If he bought her a used car because there wasn’t another car to hand down, I get it. If he bought a brand new car for her, I would simply point out that while he mostly provides the same things the quality is vastly different.
I would mention to him that your sister gets quality time when they go shopping, just because you guys like to shop at different stores doesn’t mean you don’t want to spend time with him or that you would appreciate more quality time.
Are you leaving for college or staying at home? I think it should be brought up either way. Staying home there is a chance for things to change. Going away to school might make it difficult but there are ways to work on your relationship, even at a distance.
Purple_Dark6726
NTA look, honestly have you spoken to your dad about it. That you feel like you've been cast to the side? That you're struggling and get nothing? Your sisters her own person, if she's prettier and gets more attention, that's not her fault. You can't blame a peacock for being a peacock.
Life's pretty unfair but it will make you bitter and old and mean if you focus on the negative. I did it for far too long. It made me sad and angry inside all the time. I hate I've become this way and do therapy and brain training to stop being like it.
Life's just the way it is. Tell your dad you wish he spent as much time with you as he does with her and you want to be treated like a special kid too. You'd be surprised sometimes as a dad I think am I favouring one child over another?
Maybe but not on purpose. I love my kids and if one of them needs hugs every night till they fall asleep I'll give them to them till they are 50. If that's what it takes for them to feel safe, secure and loved.
I'm sure you're not hated, just misunderstood. Your dads just a person too trying to get through life as well. There's no rule book or right or wrong way. He sees someone who reminds him of a time when he was happy?
Maybe make new memories with him so he's happy when with you :) he's a person too, think of your friends and which ones you love hanging with and why. You'll find it's not the ones who moan or complain all the time, it's the ones who do those things but also, pick you up and walk with you and try to have fun with you too.
I hope you work through this and don't end up stuck in a cycle like me and it becomes your obsession. Go enjoy and love your life. Don't measure your worth against others views/opinions of you. You can never be happy if that's the case.