'AITA for locking myself in my room to recover after taking care of my sick baby solo for 8 days?'

"AITAH for locking myself in my room to rest and recover after taking care of my sick baby solo for 8 days?"

My husband and I live states away from family and most friends. We both worked from home until I got laid off in November, right when we enrolled our 17 month old daughter in Montessori school.

Since we had become parents, my husband had yet to go on a fun trip so, when invited on a hunting trip with his buddies, I was more than supportive: go! connect with nature! get some guy time! I even went so far as to use my own credit card points to book the flight.

The trip was January 1st - 5th, meaning I’d be solo parenting completely until our daughter went back to school on the 5th. For my own sanity, I took advantage of our gym childcare every day except Sunday, where I took advantage of our church childcare.

In the past when I’ve been on trips (whether for work or play), prior to her being in school, I’ve lined up babysitters, prepared meals, and he’s even flown his mom in so she could watch our baby so he could work. His fun trip though? Not one surprise Uber eats at my door, not one “let me take care of dinner,” not one babysitter scheduled. Fine — she went back to school Monday the 5th.

That evening, at 10 PM, my husband returned home. I waited up for him and welcomed him into a clean home with dinner made. That night, our daughter was up coughing and crying every hour. I took her to urgent care the next morning, Tuesday, where they told us she had contracted RSV. I, too, had felt a tickle in my throat, waking up with congestion, but I thought it was something I was fighting.

Wednesday morning, at 7 AM, my husband was just getting out of bed. He got out of the shower and went on a rampage about how behind he felt at work, insinuating it’s my fault, saying he needed uninterrupted time and reminding me that I didn’t have a job so I should be able to give that to him. Fine — Wednesday and Thursday, I solo parented through dinner time, nursing my baby back to health as I grew sicker.

This morning, I’d had it. Unbearable congestion, chest pain, clogged sinuses, a sore throat, and burning cough. My husband still in bed next to me again, at 7 AM, I told him that I wasn’t getting out of bed today. Above all things, I needed rest. I’ve been solo parenting for the last 8 days straight, with little to no time to myself and declining health.

He’s had days to organize childcare, especially for today, considering our daughter is on the mend and without fever. He looked at me, asked if I was serious, and promptly jumped out of bed, showered and got dressed, and left the room. I locked the door. He can figure it out, the way I have and always do. AITA?

EDIT! - for everyone’s consideration, he truly is a wonderful husband. I think the issue here has been communication. At the same time, though, I don’t think I was mistaken in expecting the same support I give and have given him in similar instances.

This is what people had to say to OP:

concernedreader1982 said:

NTA for expecting him to take care of his daughter while you're sick, or just helping in general. It's part of the parenting he signed up for when you decided to have a child together.

MisoMinaZ said:

Nope. You’ve been holding everything together solo for over a week while sick yourself. Locking the door wasn’t selfish, it was survival. Anyone who can’t see that after everything you’ve done needs a reality check. Rest isn’t optional, it’s essential.

runiechica said:

NTA you have a husband problem.

Acceptable-Cup4290 said:

NTA but you two need to learn how to communicate. This will not be the first or last time you or both of you are sick with a baby. What's the plan for next time? Also, I can see the two of you bringing someone out, like his mom, to watch the baby if he is working and you go out of town.

But he is a grown man. He can buy his own doordash or make his own dinner. Stop treating him like he is a babysitter for your baby or like a child and maybe he'll stop acting like one.

OP responded:

Thank you - my behaviors will definitely be changing next time.