'AITA for locking my roommate’s 'emotional support' blender in my closet?' UPDATED
"AITA for locking my roommate’s 'emotional support' blender in my closet?"
Okay so I (22F) live with two roommates in a decent apartment. One of them, let’s call her Maya (23F), is super chill. The other one, let's call her Bridget (22F), is... something else.
Bridget has this blender. Like a normal Nutribullet. Nothing special. But she has started calling it her “emotional support blender.” At first I thought it was a joke but no, she fully means it.
She blends stuff like three times a day. Smoothies, soups, weird powders from TikTok. You name it. The issue is: she runs it at literally all hours. 6am smoothies. Midnight soups. 3am protein sludge. It’s a full blown rave in our kitchen at night.
We’ve asked her nicely like... seven times to chill. Me and Maya even bought her those little noise-dampening pads for appliances and she said it "ruins the vibe." Girl. It's a blender.
Anyway, last week I had exams and had literally begged for one single peaceful morning. I was up all night studying, fell asleep at like 3:30am. At 6:17am I was violently awakened by her grinding frozen bananas or God knows what.
I just snapped. I got out of bed, walked to the kitchen in my giant Care Bears pajama pants, unplugged the blender, and said something like “I’m done with this.” I put the blender in my closet and locked it in there with a little bike lock thing I had. No dramatic yelling. Just vibes.
Bridget FREAKED OUT. She started saying I “violated her emotional boundary” and that I’m “blender-shaming.” I genuinely didn’t even know that was a thing. She texted our roommate group chat saying she might have to “file something with the landlord.” (???) Maya just sent the side-eye emoji and went back to sleep lol.
I gave it back that night after she apologized for waking me up again and said she’d only blend during “reasonable hours” (no idea what that means). But now she’s been super cold and is calling me “Controlling Cathy” behind my back.
Her TikTok is full of blender content and I’m 98% sure one of her posts was subtweeting me. So AITA for locking up her blender? I didn’t damage it. Just needed one blender-free nap.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
You are worried about what an unstable humanoid thinks of you? Tell her that she needs to move out. If she doesn’t, cheat on her with the blender. Make a shake with it and moan “When Harry Met Sally” style.
Serious_Confusion186 (OP)
LMAO not “unstable humanoid” I’m crying. I swear if I walk into the kitchen one day and she’s slow dancing with the blender to Norah Jones, I’m moving out.
Also… the visual of me cheating on her with the blender “When Harry Met Sally” style?? Sir. I am unwell now. But yeah, lowkey tempted to blend an obnoxiously loud margarita next time she’s sleeping. Just to restore balance to the universe.
Tf is “blender content”?
I would absolutely do this. Repeatedly. At 5 a.m. Frankly, when I snapped I might have thrown it down on the floor so hard it broke in twenty pieces.
Noise dampening pads for the blender ruin the vibe? Is she making a smoothie or sitting on it? Does the noise make her smoothies taste better? Seriously, she has some hairball ideas and should probably live on her own somewhere else. She seems to be quite inconsiderate of others.
The next day, the OP returned with an update.
Hey again, it’s me blender jail warden. First off, thanks to everyone who commented, laughed with me (or at me, fair), and especially to the person who said I should “cheat on her with the blender.”
That visual is living rent-free in my brain. Honestly, Reddit has been more supportive than my actual apartment.
So. The update.
The blender truce lasted exactly three and a half days. Then I woke up at 5:52am to… wait for it… “grape coconut sleepy girl mocktail.” I didn’t even know that was a thing, but apparently it “hits harder with chia seeds.” What hit harder was the blender firing up before the sun even clocked in for the day.
I dragged myself out in my fluffy robe and was like, “Hey. We talked about this.” She responded with, “It’s medicinal.” Medicinal. Like it’s her inhaler or something.
So I didn’t say anything else. I just… walked over to the cabinet, pulled out my mini speaker, placed it gently on the counter, and BLASTED the entire Shrek 2 soundtrack at full volume. She shrieked and said, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING??” And I said, “Balancing the vibes.”
That kicked off what I now refer to as The Blender Cold War.
We’ve both been petty in silent ways since:
She started labeling her oat milk “Do Not Use. This is sacred.” (No one wants your warm oat milk, girl.) I started casually googling “Is it legal to evict a blender?” on the living room TV with the voice search on. Maya bought earplugs and refuses to get involved. She's Switzerland now.
Finally, we had a mini intervention on the balcony over boxed wine. Bridget cried and said she didn’t realize it was “such a big deal,” and I said it’s not the blender, it’s the timing. We agreed on “no blending before 8am or after 10pm,” which I feel is a very reasonable compromise that doesn’t involve locking small appliances in captivity.
So for now, the blender is free. I am (mostly) rested. And Maya is making popcorn every time we’re in the same room just in case it pops off again. Anyway, I’m saving up to move out next semester. If you hear blender noises at 3am in the distance, just know Bridget’s thriving. Thanks. You kept me sane (ish).
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s update:
Blender jail....
is there a spot on the couch with Maya? I will bring non-blended drinks.
I kind of want to get some popcorn... because I'm wondering if it will kick off again in 3½ days. I've been down similar roads with roommates and noise at strange hours. This was a great read.
I about died over things "hitting harder with chia seeds," being a chef who has had to make things with chia seeds. Definitely not the jerk, but wow. Props on your restraint and the ability to have peace talks over boxed wine.
I'm honestly surprised none of your neighbors have complained by now. Your roommate is a jerk.
Dang. I'm a night shift worker, in an apartment, and I won't use my blender after work because people live NEXT DOOR, on the non-kitchen side. Damned sure wouldn't do it in the same house.
I am dying with laughter at this. It's stupid, ridiculous, and you are absolutely in the right, but compared to roommate drama I've dealt with before, this is sit-com worthy.