'AITA for losing it and breaking up with my BF after I had to jump from his moving car?'

"AITA for losing it on my boyfriend & breaking up with him because I had to jump from his moving car after he didn't like me proving a point?"

I’m 33 year old mom of two, previous stay at home parent, current full workforce parent, and I’ve been on and off with my boyfriend (34M), JD, for about 20 months(again). It’s complicated, so here’s the short version. We originally dated from age 14–19(jr high/high-school sweet hearts), but broke up because of differences and alot of maturing to do(doesn't seem like its improved really).

He ended things back then and told me to move on. I eventually met my husband, and JD wasn’t impressed because it all happened fast. He did try to get me back, but at 19 my parents were planning to retire in a different country and as an only child, I wanted a family and he made it clear he wasn’t ready, so I respected that.

Fast forward: I married, had two kids, and went through years of marital issues. I found things that pointed to potential infidelity over 13 years, but I tried to stick it out because we did love each other, even through financial stress and major life events. Around year 9 or 10, JD and I reconnected casually.

My husband found out and wasn’t happy. I’ll admit JD gave me attention I hadn’t felt in a long time, especially after I started losing weight post‑baby.

Then, 2 years ago, everything changed. My husband assumed JD and I were having an affair. I told him we weren’t, but JD had been the only person I could vent to. My personal training schedule was hectic, causing more friction. That day, my husband threw my belongings onto the porch and called the police to forcefully remove me.

I had no one to call but JD. I called and said “HELP ME,” and he came immediately, picked me up, and took me home. My husband kept the house, and after that I went through four months of trauma — losing everything, even living out of my car at one point. I eventually took a leave from work and went to South America and Dubai to train and reset, staying in touch with my kids the whole time.

When I came back in September of that year, rebuilding my career was hard. Getting clients back was slow. JD supported me all year, helped me get back on my feet, and honestly did things no other man I know would’ve done. We lived together until April of last year, when things got prickly.

My grief over losing my family was “too much” for him, so I got my own place. We stayed together, and things seemed okay, but the old red flags came back — the same ones from high school.

The jealousy was huge. Any man who looked at me or messaged me was a threat. My kids are 12 and 3, and since my preteen doesn’t have a phone, I use their dad’s phone to communicate. JD would get angry, defensive, and passive‑aggressive even when it was just my daughter calling.

Even a Disney+ code text would set him off. Meanwhile, my ex‑husband and I were finally getting to a place where we could co‑parent, even though he still didn’t want JD around.

More red flags: JD made comments about having to “step up financially” since my income tanked after all the trauma. He’d twist things, get mad if I corrected him, then go silent for 2–3 days as punishment. Then he’d pop back up when he felt like it, and I’d fall back into the hope of a fairytale. Spoiler: it wasn’t.

I feel ridiculous at my age, trapped in a trauma bond, believing he’d changed. I’m an only child, my parents aren’t here, and most of my friends are gym people. It feels like a Hollywood plot but it’s been a nightmare. Being without my kids kills me. I’ve had no control for two years and no financial means to fight back.

Now to the present — two days after Christmas of this year. We spent Christmas with my kids, and JD spoiled us. I loved my gift. But on Boxing Day, I found out a payment I was expecting wasn’t coming, and I had two huge bills due. I panicked. JD said he’d help, told me not to worry.

The next morning, he suddenly said he didn’t have the money after all. We both got hostile. I left for CrossFit but didn’t stay because he called and accused me of using him as an ATM. Not true — I’ve always worked hard and appreciated help, never expected it. I suggested returning the gift he bought me so I could cover the payment. He stayed passive‑aggressive.

Later, I got home and saw parcels on my porch, including one JD ordered for his dad. I grabbed them, turned around, and JD was suddenly there trying to get to the package first. I asked if we could talk. My car was still half in the road because I’d just hopped out. I put the packages inside and sat in the front seat to talk. Sharp words were exchanged — jabs at my character, my career, blaming me for everything.

Then he said he was going to Costco to return my gift. I asked for five minutes to talk. He got cocky, said he needed space, didn’t want me coming. I asked for an explanation. He didn’t like that I was right about anything, so he suddenly said, “Fine, you’re coming,” and sped off — with my car still sitting in the road.

I screamed at him to stop. He didn’t. He whipped around a corner on pure ice. I opened the door hoping he’d slow down. He didn’t. I fell out onto the ice, the door slammed, and he sped off. Then he blamed me, calling me stupid for “jumping.”

Tonight he basically broke up with me because I didn’t apologize for “jumping out of his car.” I was terrified. I’m lucky I’m built like a brick. Around 10:30 he texted calling me crazy, saying everything was my fault, that I needed to admit he was right and apologize for my “constant failures.”

This from the same man who used to wait outside my work just to see me when I was married. Now he says I’m a psycho because I’m financially dependent for two more weeks until my jobs start again.

By 11:30 he switched to “I can’t live without you.” No apology. Just love‑bombing. At midnight we talked on the phone. I said it was wrong he didn’t stop to check on me. He said I should apologize for being stupid. He said any guy would call me a crazy idiot.

I said, “Let’s ask AI.” He agreed but insisted on wording the question. He typed: “I had to jump from my boyfriend’s car and he didn’t even check to see if I was ok?” The AI responded with empathy, and he lost it, saying it was biased and wrong.

All I wanted was an apology.

Then he said, “Can we go back to not being together?” Followed by threats about my gym membership, nasty comments, “wish I never met you,” “go find a sugar daddy.”

I finally hit a wall. I said, “Bye Felicia. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” And I meant it. AITA for jumping from the car or is he the @$$hole and should evaporate from my life permanently at this point?

The truth is: I was scared today. He didn’t stop the car. He didn’t check on me. I deserve better. After 20 years of chaos between two men, I’m done. I’m picking up the pieces of what’s left of my life, and I need real therapy but its pricey!

This is what people had to say to OP:

Similar-Ad-6862 said:

You BOTH sound toxic. You obviously shouldn't be together in any way. YTA for exposing your kids to this stupidity.

Beginning_Donkey2085 said:

Why would you expose yourself and your kids to that? Your ex husband sounds like a smart man. Walk away from this idiot.

Ok-Catch-5813 said:

Your poor kids. You sound super selfish and needy. YTA.

CaptainMarv3l said:

YTA. I feel bad for your children.

Also, I am getting unreliable narrator vibes.

Potential_Sky_35 said:

Dear Lord, you could benefit from some good therapy… I mean that in a most well- meant way. Your life seems to revolve around men and all of your combined issues and toxicity and dynamics overall, butI couldn’t stop wondering why in the world are you - seemingly - okay with your children living without you? It doesn’t sound like you are bothered by not being far from them?

Please, for your own sake, try to find some stability and healthy relationships in your life and cut all the toxic stuff out. Good luck ❤️