'AITA for losing my mind after my wife's friend made her drink and tried to hook her up with a man?' UPDATED

"AITA for losing my mind after my wife's friend made her drink alcohol and tried to hook her up with another man?"

My wife went out with her friend for dinner, when her friend came over she told us that it would just be her my wife and her other friends and they'll be back in 2 hours or so and my wife didn't really want to go but I encourage her to have fun.

I was at home looking after our daughter but my wife after an hour suddenly texts me to pick her up and that she's drunk and there's a man next to her and she feels uncomfortable, even if she wasn't uncomfortable I would've went anyway.

I was confused cause it was supposed to be girls only night so why is a man involved, I asked my SIL to look after my daughter and went to pick my wife up. I was angry but I didn't want to embarrass my wife in front of everyone, so I said that my wife is drunk and she's never had alcohol and our daughter is calling for her and I took her home.

My wife told me that she was shocked to see a man joining them on dinner and he was being over friendly with her, he grabbed her hand and kept touching her shoulder and she didn't want to drink but everyone kept pressuring her.

I told my wife it's not her fault and she shouldn't blame herself but I wanted clarification, I called her friend and asked her as to why would she make my wife drink and why is a man involved and we weren't informed. She doubles down and said she doesn't need to inform me and my wife should be able to handle alcohol and she should be okay with being around men.

I called her a b#$h and she's no true friend of my wife and told her to stay away from both of us, I ended up telling everyone their actual group about what she did and most of the women cut her off. And she's as expected pissed and she said that I didn't need to be so dramatic and she's lost some of her friends because of me and a few from their group says the same thing.

It's so stressful to go back and forth with these people and I just want to cut them out of my life, they are cancer, the good ones can stay friends with my wife and these? I want to ruin them.

AITA?

The internet had a lot to say in response.

[deleted] wrote:

YTA. Your wife is a grown adult, if she doesn't want to drink she doesn't drink. No one can force her to drink.

If your wife has a problem with her friend then she can handle it.

OP responded:

My wife is never touching alcohol ever again, not on my watch and for as long as I am alive. My wife never drank alcohol in her life and she was peer pressured into drinking, every single of her friends knows this and that is exactly why they cut this one out and I won't let her back in my wife's life

throwaway2490626 wrote:

The fact that your wife was uncomfortable and texted you for help means that you are 100% NTA. Sounds like your wife just weeded out a sh#$ty friend, good bye and good riddance.

OP responded:

My wife was uncomfortable and she made a mistake which she regrets and I am glad that my wife called me and I can't possibly blame her. A lot of commenters here are calling me controlling and the other half is blaming my wife for not saying 'no'.

I know she did and my wife knows that if she's in distress she can rely on me, she knows that if she's in trouble I will give up everything and help her

doobanon wrote:

Seriously, man, I'm going to assume your wife, the mother of your daughter, is a full-grown adult. It was good that she called you to get her out of this, but she needs to work on saying no for herself so that she doesn't end up in a similar, or worse, situation in the future.

What would have happened if one of your phones were dead/unreachable, or the alcohol hit her even harder? She was pressured, but no one poured the alcohol down her throat. NTA, but this does need to be addressed.

A little over two weeks later, OP shared an update.

My wife went out her friend and this ex friend of her lied to us that it was girls night but she invited a man who kept touching my wife her shoulder and her hand and when my wife was uncomfortable she called me to pick her up and her so called 'friend' made her drink alcohol, my wife had never drank alcohol before but her former friend forced her and this man was touching her.

Since I brought my wife back home we have been living stress free with our daughter but her ex friend kept texting my wife that she wants to 'explain herself and my wife shouldn't cut her off.' When I asked my wife what she plans to do about her ex friend she said she wants to talk to her but she wants to cut her off but before she cuts her off she wants to talk to her.

I said that she would just be reminded of getting drunk and getting touched by that man and she should just let it go and she should focus on our family our daughter and she agreed but she's still disappointed and i think it's just her trauma and reopen wounds.

I called her ex friend and told her to stay away from us but she said that 'its my wife decision and I shouldn't interfere and stop reading her texts'.

My wife's friends were already angry at her and so was I and we told her parents what she did and she's furious because we are bad guys?

She thinks she isn't and I shouldn't have made it public and my wife said that we shouldn't have made it public. My wife's good friends is with me and they encouraged me and they said they'll talk to my wife and tell her that it was necessary. Well AITA for telling my wife's ex friends parents of what she did?

The internet kept the comments coming.

FlounderKind8267 wrote:

Just cut that friend out. Tell them, firmly, that you do not want her to contact you anymore. And let mutual friends know why you're breaking contact with that person. That's the only people who need to know. If she still tries to get in contact after that, THEN you can try to get other people involved to stop communication.

kccost33 wrote:

Y'all are wild. Yes, normal falling out with a friend would be none of my business. Deal with it however you want to. A friend tricking my girl into drinking when she's never drank before and bringing in another man who's putting his hands on her even though she's uncomfortable and expressing that it's unwanted? F you, you're dealing with me too.

MyDirtyAlt79 wrote:

Why not just let your wife tell her to bugger off? The ex friend trying to reach out constantly is just as much a reminder of that night as a final conversation with her would be and perhaps your wife directly telling her to go away would finally get the point across.