'AITA for lying about my income to avoid rent?' 'I've gained thousands in credit card debt.'
"AITA for lying about my income to avoid rent?"
AITA for lying to my parents (M&F 50s) about how much money I (F23) make so I don't have to pay them as much for rent? To give context after college I moved back into my parents and have been here for 8 months. Since graduating college my parents have taken a sum of my income starting at 20%.
After a couples months I was expected to pay the Parent Plus Loan ($510 monthly). A couple more months my car payment was added ($300 monthly). All of this I think is fair and I have no issue with except for the fact I had to quit my job in March.
I was expecting to live in the college area after I graduated but due to outside circumstances I could not get a place. This led to me living home and having a 2 hour commute. After a few months I had to toss in the towel and quit because it was nearly costing money to have the job.
During this time my parents had slowly increased my rent to 40% of my income for more expenses. When I was unemployed my parents instead took $200 as well as the loan money (car money was added once I got a new job). This absolutely destroyed my savings to the point I've gained thousands in credit card debt to keep up with life and expenses needed to apply for jobs.
Eventually I got a job! This is where I may be an AH but I lied to my parents and hide 40% of my income in an account they can't see. If they question why there's a lack of money I may say I had 20-30% automatically put in savings. I just need to leave this living situation.
It's a family of 5 with 2.5 bath, living with family 24/7, limited freedoms, but most importantly feeling a crushing sensation of being trapped here. I understand that my parents have had lives that made them not great with money and there are debts to be paid. In reality paying for loans and my car payment isn't horrible and I expect it.
I just keep doing math and see how if I lived with someone I could have a 2 bed 1 bath for the same price. The rent they also say goes to food and electricity (we don't pay for water), so that makes sense a bit. Am I being an AH for hiding the full amount I earn so I can save up to move out?
More information:
The total monthly payment is $750 (rent) + $300 (car) + $510 (PPL). I asked for an itemized list of the 40% but I was told it wasn't needed and they said it's what they felt was right.
With that I can only assume basic rent, electric, food, and some smaller stuff. I pay for 1/3 of my meals by myself, I pay for my own gas, and car maintenance. I also can't move out right now due to having very little savings.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
hexxcellent said:
NTA and everyone saying you are for "lying about your income" is missing the goddamn point. Because if I'm understanding correctly, your parents started gradually increasing your rent until it was double what you were first paying and well beyond what market value would be for a single bedroom?
And didn't even give you any leniency when you were unemployed, they were totally cool with you racking up thousands in debt?! OP is being financially exploited by their own damn parents. They NEED to lie about their current income in order to ever afford to move out, otherwise they're just at risk of another price hike.
Ok_Objective8366 said:
40% is way to high as they are making sure you can never move out with that amount and they know it. I would pay the parents plus loan directly instead of through your parents and it might not be that high or it’s not getting paid at all. I would have that direct payment instead.
Mundane-Run6179 said:
NTA. I get their point of view but the way they went about it was.... kinda yuck imho. If I was a parent, the most my kid would have to pay is their phone, car, and help with groceries. You're not wrong for hiding a portion of your income so you can save up to move out.
Flimsy-Surprise8234 said:
NTA. They’re taking advantage of you financially. If you would be financially better off for leaving, then you should leave them asap, yes. Their debts are not your responsibility and they’re being selfish and greedy. Paying 20% of your income to rent is certainly enough.
Forward_Nothing5979 said:
NTA. 40% of your income to rent your childhood bedroom is ridiculous. As an adult, your parents have no right to look over any of your financial accounts or statements. Get a post office box, direct all bank stuff to it. Save cash and look for a cheap studio. It's reasonable to pay for your overhead but unreasonable to to pay for others. The rent increase they're making is wrong.
dazed1984 said:
NTA. Your parents still insisted you pay whilst unemployed and let you rack up debt.
Fit-Combination-6211 said:
NTA if they're charging you more than you could get with another roommate. They're taking advantage of you and not charging you, their daughter, a fair market value.