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Woman secretly feeds step daughter lactose and gluten for 6 months to call her allergy bluff. AITA?

Woman secretly feeds step daughter lactose and gluten for 6 months to call her allergy bluff. AITA?


"Aita for lying to my step daughter that the soup she loves is lactose and gluten free for 6 months?"


So my(f35) step daughter (f15) lives with us every each week and for the past year she has been a nightmare when it comes to food. First she became vegan, which I have no problems with, I just make her food sans animal products but that didn’t stick and that’s normal too.

Now she is holistic and she started having allergies from everything. Salted Nuts, lactose, processed foods, gluten, red meat, mustard, mushrooms and anything a loser instagram influencer is making money telling people is dangerous.

I had enough when she started demanding that I separate her cookware even in the dish washer. Separate her food in the fridge and freezer. Take out all my salted nuts and sugars etc and throwing them in the trash because she complained about stomach pain that she attributed to contamination from the pantry.

I told her that she should either eat outside or do her own cooking and cleaning from now on. She started raging saying that I was treating her differently from the rest of the family and I am the evil stepmother. My husband started yelling at me.

I asked him to take her to do an allergy screening and seek mental help for eating disorders and surprise surprise she had no allergies but her answer was that this doesn’t matter, what matters is what she believed. “Her stomach ache was actually a real thing”.

So yes I can’t have anything in my house now and I have to make her food in almost a separate kitchen. I had enough. I started putting gluten and lactose in almost everything she ate especially the chicken soup that she loves so much.

She has been eating this for the past 6 months until her mom dropped her off one day and stayed for coffee, talking about how actually their health has been better since her daughter l’s new kitchen rules. I just said really? She feels better?

The daughter yelled at me, "yes I don’t have stomach issues anymore." I just calmly said great I wonder what changed because you have been eating the same food as the rest of us over the past months especially the chicken soup you love so much.

She started yelling and throwing things off the shelves and her mother started yelling at me too and they left. My husband was angry at me and called what I did reckless because she is refusing to live with us now and I said great if you want her to live with you then you can move the hell out too.

They have filed a lawsuit against me but it will get dropped the minute the judge looked at the case. My husband is still angry at me but I will not change my mind that if he wants his daughter he should move out to be with her and I would actually understand if he chose his daughter over me.

Now she demands that I apologize and divide the kitchen to two areas if she “ever” to live with us again because she has been having stomach problems since I started feeding her normal food. I urged my husband and his ex to seek mental help for her bot told them she is not welcome to my home.

I am a nurse and I work almost 60 hours a week. Making time to make food and clean is a luxury for me and I will be damned if I start to abide by the rules of a superficial teenager with mental issues’ delusions.

Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:


You are right that this kid needs psychological evaluation along with both her parents.


He 100% should move out with her. You absolutely should not have to live like that in your own home. This is definitely a mental issue.


If your husband wants to back up his daughter so much he’ll get off his lazy ass and learn how to support her dietary needs. Him pawning it off on you then yelling at you while he does nothing shows just how “supportive” he actually is. If her mom is drinking the Kool Aide, she can send your step daughter batched meals that can be heated up by little Miss Princess.


Your husband started yelling at you about it? Congratulations Husband, you are now your daughters’s chief chef and bottle washer. NTA.


Lol throw the whole family out with the trash….. including the husband.


“You’re treating her differently from the rest of the family..?” You mean like she asked? She wanted a separate different menu?

Your husband is really stretching how long incompetence can be sexy with his inability to cook. Being a good father doesn’t make him a good husband. He doesn’t seem to respect you as a partner or as a professional, unless his own credentials exceed your own in the health care industry he should pull his head out his ass and listen. NTA.


NTA. Sounds like a mixture of Instagram and her mother influencing her b00llsh*t diets.

The OP responded here:


It is the other way around I think. Step daughter is more exposed to the holistic influencing bullshit on IG and her 50yo mom is astonished by the knowledge her daughter has about literal nonsense and I think both are feeling really great by this delusion.

Her mom lost 50 pounds and feeling rejuvenated and “25 again” excluding everything from her diet so it is just more evidence that what they believe is real. When in reality it’s just calorie deficiency because she stopped eating. Beliefs are a good and very dangerous tool. I mean how do you argue against beliefs?


NTA exactly, but I’d be concerned that a young girl with this level of rejection of whole swathes of food groups without allergies or sensitivities is looking for an excuse to restrict their eating…orthorexia/a mask for anorexia.

I have struggled for years with talking myself out of eating because I only have “bad”/sub-ideal foods available to me, and I don’t even go so far as to convince myself I’m allergic or sensitive to it. That kid needs help.

So, what do you think about this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?

Sources: Reddit
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