Mom’s breastfeeding sparks argument with brother’s GF at 4th of July cookout. AITA?
"AITA For making a scene when my brothers girlfriend tried to protect her peace?"
Born_Archer_9113
I didn't know how to title this. I apologize. My son is eleven months old and 97th percentile for height. He is a big baby (currently 36in tall - or about the size of your average 2.5yo) and in 3T clothing.
However, despite him being so big, he is still just a baby and most of his nutrition ia still from breast milk. For the 4th of July we had a big family cookout and my brother invited his girlfriend.
I live out of state and I didn't want my flights to be too close together so I'm staying for a bit longer.
My brother and his girlfriend are doing the same thing.
My family is aware that my son is a baby, obviously, but my brothers girlfriend was not and was initially very shocked when she saw him "misbehaving". We explained that he's still a baby, so he's still just exploring the world.
She remained uncomfortable but we mostly avoid each other. Because he's so big feeding him is a chore so I use an armchair as there isn't enough support elsewhere and so there isn't much I can do about covering up (he gets sweaty under blankets and won't eat).
It's been a tense couple of weeks. Last night I think we both kind of lost it. My son needed feeding and she was in the chair; I asked her to move which she whined about but did get up.
Everything was fine for another hour or so until she demanded my brother pay for her to go to a hotel for the remaining nights because she can't cope with me and the baby. He asked what she meant and she said that he's clearly big enough to be on real food and I enjoy making her uncomfortable by feeding him in front of her.
I got embarrassingly upset and told her that she should keep her mouth shut because she clearly doesn't know the first thing about parenting and certainly doesn't know anything about me or my son.
We argued the same points for a little more until my son woke from his nap and I left to collect him. She then left after telling us all, loudly, that she needs to "protect her peace" (which is honestly not a phrase I thought real people said).
My brother told me I was being immature and left with her. My dad is on "my side" but did tell me I should have removed myself from the situation as I'm a grown woman and she's still a teenager (I'm three years older than her so I think that's BS).
My mom is neutral but is still trying to convince my brother to come home and ended up paying for their hotel. She thinks I could have been a lot more understanding. AITA? Was I completely out of order?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
OK_Playboy_WhatNow
I know how you feel. My boys are 6’6” and 6’5”, respectively. It looked like they should have been able to eat a porterhouse every day. So, I get where you are coming from. Some people are more literal. They see you breastfeeding a “love seat”, and they just can’t cope.
The OP responded:
Born_Archer_9113
His dad is 6'7 and I'm so not prepared for him to be taller than me by the time he's like five lmao. He's already past my hip. I'm 5'1" on a good day 😭
Autisticrocheter
Oof I don’t envy your pregnancy tbh if he’s always been big. But NTA at all, you’re literally just feeding your baby.
Again, the OP responded:
Born_Archer_9113
He was 8lb 6oz so relatively normal at birth. He grew like a weed around 2mo and completely skipped 6-9mo clothes lmao. He was growing so fast he had to get blood tests done and everything.
Remarkable_Table_279
My niece was like that…small at birth but just grew like she was fed miracle grow…grandma would try to get her to spell words cause she looked like she was 5 & I said grandma she’s 3…oh that’s right…if it makes you feel better my sister could carry her till she was about 8-10 cause she said her muscles grew with her kid.
Remote-Passenger7880
Her peace is disrupted by a baby needing to be fed? How sad for her. If she's so shocked that babies can come in different shapes and sizes, she's gonna lose her mind when she finds out they come in different colors too. NTA.
Jolly-Discipline-503
I'm going to go with NTA. It sounds like it's a her issue if she was the only who made any fuss about it. To clarify the 'still a teenager' bit, is she still an actual teen or someone is a bit self centered, or sheltered?
Could you have gone to another room like a bedroom, or is that specific chair the primest of spots? (not that it matters, imo) She's weird and shoulda just sucked it up. Not sure if she's unaware that above average babies can happen???
PandaCotton
NTA. If she's uncomfortable because you're breastfeeding, she leaves the room. It's that simple. Her opinions on what your son should eat are stupid and nobody asked for them.
Sometimes people are stupid or clumsy, but she was disrespectful. She absolutely must apologize for her unsolicited advice and entitled behavior. Next time she can go straight to the hotel for her "peace" but above all for YOUR peace.
savinathewhite
NTA. You’re the mom, you get to decide when and where to feed your baby. The fact that she can’t cope with your baby being above average in size is not your problem.
My son was 22” tall at birth. He was never a tiny newborn, and we had to actually have someone bring us clothes to take him home in because the baby things we brought were ridiculously too small. Big babies are a thing, and your family needs to shut down anyone giving you grief over their own insecurities. The person whose peace needs protecting is you.