'AITA for making an autistic kid cry and leave the movie theater after he kept kicking my seat?'
"AITA for telling a child sitting behind me to stop kicking my chair, causing them to get upset and leave the theatre?"
I took my kids(5,8) to go see Zootopia 2. I got our tickets through the app so we selected our seats. The theatre was about 3/4 quarters full with most the free seats near the front. I was sitting in the middle between my kids and this boy behind me kept kicking our seats, my 8 year old getting the worst of it.
I turned around and told him to please stop kicking our seats. The mom apologized and said he would stop. He did for about 20 mins then the kicking/ putting his feet up started happening again. I switched seats with my 8 year old, giving the boy and mom a stare down as I did.
We’re about half way through the movie and I can’t take it anymore. I turned around again and said something like “ If you don’t stop kicking my seat, I’m going to go get someone “ then turned back around.
Well that boy started crying very loudly. I would say he was around the age 10. Looked slightly older than my oldest. Now everyone in the theatre is looking at us, not just people around us. The mom tried to calm the boy down saying they are going to find a new place to sit.
As they are leaving she is apologizing saying he is autistic. They get up and are making their way through one of the closer aisles to the screen when the boy says he hates sitting so close and it hurts his neck.
So they leave the theatre crying. It’s awkward but we finish the movie and when we get home, the kids and I tell the story. My wife thinks I’m an @$$hole for getting upset with a child. An autistic child at that. My family is pretty divided, I just say you had to be there I didn’t know he was autistic and wish she told me the first time I said something.
I do feel bad, I feel like I was nice tho. This wasn’t my first time taking my kids to a movie. If I would have known he was autistic. I would have just moved seats or not said anything or talked to the mom not him.
I wasn’t trying to scare him or be mean. His mom only told him to stop when I said something. I thought I was just parenting this child because his mom wasn’t and teaching him proper theatre etiquette would only help out everyone. I thought I was setting a good example for my kids. That it’s okay to stand up for yourself, just try to be respectful.
Idk it’s been a few days since. My kids still keep talking about it. My 8 year old is asking a bunch of questions. It’s just been a mess and I feel like an a$$hole. So what do you think? AITA?
This is what people had to say to OP:
CatsMom4Ever said:
NTa. Autistic or not, he shouldn't be making your experience uncomfortable. His mother should have changed seats so if he HAD to kick a seat, it would have been an empty one.
maniacmcgee559 said:
NTA, the kid being autistic is honestly irrelevant. The mom should have stopped him right when he started kicking, and your response was the natural escalation to deal with the problem.
BlondDee1970 said:
NTA. You have a right to enjoy the movie. Anyone - autistic or not-kicking a seat the whole time is going to ruin the experience. The mom should have moved them after the first time you complained. Or she could have said she was sorry but he's autistic & fidgets at which point you could chosen to swap seats. Either way the blow up wasn't your fault.
NisshokuNoKo said:
My sister is autistic.. She still would know better. NTA.
JaneDoe_83 said:
NTA. Autism is an explanation for the behaviour, but it is not an excuse. You didn’t know this child had autism prior to asking him to stop kicking.
If he wasn’t autistic, and was just a child misbehaving, then you would have asked him to stop the same way as you did. The mom should have done something more to curb his behaviour, and should maybe have told you about his autism the first time you asked, so then you know to tread more lightly the next time—though there really shouldn’t have been a next time.