'AITA for still making fun of my wife’s best friend years after she tried to blow up our wedding over a false cheating accusation?'
"AITA for still making fun of my wife’s best friend years after she tried to blow up our wedding over a false cheating accusation?"
Back in 2019, I was engaged to my now-wife Samantha. I had two great friends from college—Mark and Lucas. Mark is what I’d call a lovable idiot (I say that with affection). Lucas is a smart, grounded guy, but he’s pretty impressionable and easily swayed by others.
Now, Samantha’s best friend Tara is chaos incarnate. I’m talking:
Dated married men, emotionally unavailable guys, much older men, and the occasional walking red flag. Hooked up with my old roommate.
Ditched a solid relationship because the guy was hesitant to buy a house together. Immediately bought a half-million-dollar fixer-upper on a whim, way outside her support circle. Is constantly cycling through toxic friendships that end in explosions.
Asked for a cactus tattoo and ended up with actual weiners tattooed on her (which I had to point out to her). Drinks vodka from a water decanter and is very into looking “Instagram hot” via crash diets and lipo.
Anyway, a few weeks before the wedding, I went out with Mark and Lucas to a Nashville bar. We partied, danced, drank—typical stuff for late 20s. A group of college girls came up to us and started dancing. I was just being a good wingman for my single friends. I wasn’t being flirty or inappropriate.
One particularly aggressive girl followed me off the dance floor and into the men's restroom. She pushed open my stall door while I was using it. I freaked out and reflexively popped her on the forehead. She fell back (because she was squatting), and I immediately left. I told my friends what happened and went home.
The next day, I told Samantha everything—down to the fact that the police might get involved because of the altercation. Her reaction? Total disbelief followed by, “Wait… you were assaulted.” We agreed that yeah, this was non-consensual and deeply messed up.
Meanwhile, Mark and Lucas had gotten a very different story from the girl’s friends. They were told I tried to cheat. Mark, being Mark, believed them and called to say I wasn’t ready for marriage.
He even threatened to tell Samantha if I didn’t. I told him I already had. He called her anyway, trying to “break the news,” only for Samantha to stop him mid-sentence and say, “Yeah, he already told me. And you realize that if this happened to a woman, you’d call it assault, right?” Mark awkwardly agreed.
Well, that was the end of him being in the wedding party. Lucas, once he got the full story, realized the truth and stayed on as a groomsman. Now here is where Tara swoops in.
She and Mark were chatting on Snapchat (yep… mature, I know), and she caught wind of the drama after we updated both wedding parties about the new lineup. I had replaced Mark with two close friends of mine, Katie and Rachel, as co-best women. That’s how Tara got involved.
Instead of coming to me or asking Samantha what was going on, Tara took it upon herself to try and “protect” her friend by telling her I had cheated and assaulted someone. Samantha explained what actually happened.
Tara, to her credit, admitted it sounded like I was the victim and that I acted appropriately. She even asked how Mark could be so gullible. I told her, “I told you he’s an idiot.”
I asked Tara for an apology—not for gossiping, but for assuming the worst and trying to sabotage our engagement. She refused. Said she was “just looking out for Samantha” and didn’t owe me anything. She did apologize to Samantha, just not to me.
Now it’s 2025. Mark and I are cool again—he admitted he was wrong. Lucas and I were never really on bad terms. Tara is still part of our lives because she’s Samantha’s best friend. And yeah… I still roast her.
Not maliciously, but I do make jokes about her life choices. The cactus tattoos, the eyebrow situation, the serial bad relationships, the chaotic finances, the lipo, the decanter vodka, the impulsive house-buying. It’s all fair game. Recently, Samantha asked me to let it go and stop making fun of Tara. She said I’m holding onto a grudge.
But to me, Tara tried to blow up my wedding based on zero facts, never apologized, and now just wants things to be normal? So… AITA for still making fun of my wife’s best friend years after she tried to ruin our wedding?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s post:
She threw a grenade at ur wedding and now wants a hug? If she lives for the drama, she can handle a lil friendly fire. But for real, is it worth the energy or u just having fun at this point?
I'd add, is it worth aggravating his wife. Sometimes in life you need to choose between making yourself happy by poking fun at your wife's friend or making your wife happy.
NTA. easy. But now with that out of the way.
Tell us more about 'the eyebrow situation'.
TraditionNo4606 (OP)
Haha yeah… the eyebrow situation was something else. She totally over-plucked them to the point they were uneven and patchy, then panicked and shaved them off completely. The fix? She went straight for eyebrow tattoos as a permanent solution. It was kind of a rushed decision, and the shape didn’t turn out great—definitely added to the overall chaos vibe she had going on at the time.
NTA. Your wife used a reversal of genders so why don't you: if she'd been sexually assaulted and Mark had told you that she's tried to cheat and assaulted someone and then absolutely refused to apologise to her, would she get over it?
Someone breaking into a toilet cubicle to assault you is scary. You might be bigger than her but you were in a vulnerable position. Tara has never apologised to you for literally telling Samantha you were a) consenting and b) the abuser in that situation. On some level Samantha isn't taking what happened to you seriously.