'AITA for making my MIL return a gift she bought for my 6-year-old?' 'Grandparents shouldn't promote this.'

"AITA for making my mother-in-law return a gift she bought for my 6-year-old on Amazon?"

To preface, my 6 (almost 7) year old daughter has always had a fascination with babies and pregnancy. When she was as young as 2, she used to shove stuffed animals up her shirt and pretended it was a pregnant belly. She's always pretending her Barbies or other dolls are pregnant, and she's always loved playing with baby dolls.

My MIL, who I get along with for the most part, has always spoiled my daughter rotten. I want my daughter to have a good relationship with her grandparents but it gives me pause that it seems they let her do whatever she wants when she's over there visiting them.

My daughter recently mentioned she was excited to see her grandmother sometime soon because she's expecting a package MIL ordered her off of Amazon. I asked my daughter what she bought her and my daughter informed me she purchased 2 fake pregnancy bellies for her to wear.

I don't anticipate that they'd ever let her wear these outside of the house and this is something that would exclusively be for pretend dress-up play at home, but I got pretty upset as I don't believe this is an appropriate gift for a 6 year old at all.

I discussed my concerns with my husband, who promptly reached out to his mother to tell her she needed to return the bellies. Now MIL is upset because she was "just trying to do something nice" and thinks we're being harsh. My daughter is also upset as this is a gift she was looking forward to receiving.

I understand that my daughter has a fascination with pregnancy (which, for the record, I've always thought was strange and have not encouraged), but I don't think her grandparents should necessarily be promoting this interest.

I have always been vocal about not wanting my daughter to watch YouTube and I don't allow her to watch it at home much, outside of a few things I've personally watched and decided are age-appropriate. I believe her grandmother allows her unlimited access to YouTube and my daughter will watch videos where the MC is pregnant, which is what I think stemmed her fascination with pregnancy in the first place.

I've addressed my concerns with them about my daughter having unfettered access to YouTube, but I don't believe my concerns were taken seriously and am under the impression they've been dishonest about letting her watch whatever she wants. I'm uncomfortable with them encouraging my 6 year old to pretend she's pregnant, but MIL acts like it's no big deal and that I'm the jerk for perceiving it as weird.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

littleorangemonkeys said:

Your MIL is weird for ordering pregnancy bellies for your elementary schooler to wear. That's going a bit too far. However, I was that kid who had a phase where I was obsessed with pregnancy and childbirth and breastfeeding.

My brother was born when I was five, just old enough for my mind to be blown by the process of making a small human. I'm a perfectly well-adjusted adult today, although I honestly do wonder if I should have gone into midwifery as a career lol.

There is a way to engage your child's curiosity in a healthy way. Treat it like any other topic of science or biology. Get her some age-appropriate books about it. Make sure she knows how pregnancy happens and that it's ONLY a thing grown-ups do.

It's fine to let her indulge her curiosity in learning about it, and pretend-play is a totally normal part of learning for a kid her age. But she can stick to putting a pillow up her shirt, not an actual pregnancy belly. There's a line between learning through play and whatever your MIL is doing.

ritesideuppineapple said:

NTA. Stuffing baby dolls and stuffed animals under her shirt is totally normal and cute. Buying a literal child fake preggo bellies is just plain weird and taking things way too far.

tentpegtohead said:

NTA - grandma had to tell your daughter about these bellies in order for her to know they exist, right? Like this is actively encouraging this interest in a bizarre way. However, I’m more concerned about the YouTube rabbit hole your daughter could end up going down.

Like this is an arena in which it could get…un-wholesome real fast. If you depend on the grandparents for childcare or for some other reason can’t restrict them to supervised visits, I would suggest sitting down with grandparents and talking about the algorithm and the very real possibility that these videos could lead to fetish videos, alt-right content, etc and make them set up parental controls.

mpb1500 said:

YTA, but only sort of. Your daughter’s fascination is developmentally normal and not at all sensitive. I don’t know why this concerns you so much. Pretending to have a pregnant belly is no different than any other kind of make believe. Your mother in law bought her this toy because it is harmless and interested her grandkid. Having said that, I say only sort of TA because you’re her mom and can return whatever you want.

SarahS_Carrboro said:

YTA. I don't understand all this pearl clutching about pretend play. I mean I guess it's strange, and I can't imagine it'll get used too much because it'll be sized for an adult so it will be ridiculously uncomfortable for a 6yo.

But everything I've read as a parent says to lean into your child's interests. What you have here is a grandmother trying to do that, trying to get her granddaughter something unique. Don't make your daughter feel like there's something shameful about her interest. Now unfettered access to YouTube for a 6yo is not OK, that is absolutely the hill I would die on.

MoonLover318 said:

I would understand getting a realistic baby doll but this is just bizarre! NTA.

RestingWitchFace100 said:

NTA - I think it’s inappropriate for MIL to get that for your daughter and her reaction to you saying you were unhappy about it was uncalled for and manipulative - sounds like she was trying to make herself the victim.

I don’t personally think there’s anything wrong with your daughter’s interest however I agree that MIL allowing free rein of YouTube is a concern. Have you had other issues with MIL not following your requests around things like this?

tacosbeans said:

NTA. I find the pregnancy interest normal, because she might be reflecting off your nurturing aspect and interested in the topic. However, your MIL should respect your boundaries and rules. This is your child. Additionally, a fake pregnancy belly is definitely odd— especially because this is a six year old.