'AITA for making my husband cut off his sister after she threatened to put a hex on us?'
"AITA for telling my husband to cut contact with his half-sister after she threatened me and our marriage?"
My husband has a half-sister, I’ll call her A. In the beginning of our marriage she seemed really nice and supportive. She even offered to babysit our child if we ever wanted to go on a date, even though she lives in a different state.
I thought she was genuine. My husband told me before that A sometimes randomly goes no contact with other siblings for long periods of time and that their relationships are not very close. He hasn’t seen her in person for almost ten years.
A while ago, me and my husband were going through a rough time in our marriage. Around that time I had to travel to a different state for work. On my last day there, some coworkers and I explored the area and I posted a few pictures of scenery and food on my Instagram story.
A was following me at the time. Out of nowhere, she replied to one of my stories and said, “Don’t be fooling around and betray my brother.” I was shocked. I had barely spoken to her before besides basic small talk.
Then I found out my husband had reached out to her and talked to her about our marriage problems behind my back. Before I even had a chance to ask him about it, she started sending me long angry messages accusing me of ridiculous things. She called me lazy, said I abandon my child to go work, and that I care more about myself than my family.
Then it escalated. She said, “I’m not scared to go to jail bitch, I’ll show up in your state.” Her last message before I blocked her said, “If your marriage goes downhill remember me because I do witchcraft and I’ll use it on your family.”
I showed everything to my husband and asked why he told her about our marriage. He admitted he did, but he didn’t seem bothered by what she said to me. He didn’t defend me or even get angry at her threats. He just said he didn’t know why she would act like that. I was disappointed that he shared private issues with someone who clearly isn’t stable.
Eventually, after I pushed him, he unfriended her and blocked her number, but it didn’t feel like he actually cared. It was more like he did it just to shut me up.
Fast forward to now. A recently reached out to him again from a different number. She asked how he’s doing, how our family is, and if we are still together. That made me uncomfortable because why does she need to know if we are still together unless she wants to cause more drama.
My husband didn’t respond to her but he also didn’t block her. I asked him to completely cut her off again because I don’t trust her and I feel like she wants to ruin our marriage. He didn’t respond when I said that. Now I’m wondering if I’m the asshole for telling my husband to stop all contact with her after everything she did.
I’m not asking him to choose between me and his family. I’m asking for basic respect and boundaries. So, AITA?
This is what people had to say to OP:
Odd_Tea4945 said:
NTA, but I think you have a husband problem, since he's very eager to hear what A has to say. May I suggest counseling?
OP responded:
Thank you for the suggestion. We’re currently looking into couples therapy and trying to find something affordable that accepts our insurance. I want to add that part of what I struggle with is a pattern in our relationship, not just this situation.
My husband tends to stay neutral or nonchalant during conflicts, even when it comes to standing up for his own family against family members who cross boundaries. It makes me feel like I’m left to defend myself and our child alone, and that’s been really hard to deal with. Therapy is definitely something we hope can help with that.
Professional-West924 said:
I think you are distracted. Your husband has issues with the marriage and the symptom, a very bad one, has been him reaching out to his family. Him not contacting that person doesn't resolve the issue. Suggest you guys start counseling.
Remarkable-Cry7123 said:
NTA but your hubby invited her in. Fed her BS about whatever was going on and now instead of dealing with him your hating on her. She is in the wrong but you don’t know how bad he trashed you either. It’s his fault.
TheFairyQueen420 said:
NTA. Not only is A a huge problem, but your husband is one too. Honestly he's under reacting to her unstable behavior. Which is strange in itself. Protect yourself & your children for sure. Since your husband obviously doesn't seem to care.
And BestPersonalityEver said:
She’s not the problem. Your husband is. Why would you have to beg your husband to do the right thing? I hope you work full-time and are putting your money away.