'AITA for making my sister's gender reveal cake grey?' 'Full-on cement vibes.'

"AITA for making my sister's gender reveal cake grey because she wouldn't tell me the gender?"

I (22M) bake as a hobby, and I'm actually pretty good at it-like I get paid under the table for weddings and baby showers kind of good. My sister is pregnant and wanted me to make the cake for her gender reveal. Cool, no problem.

I asked her to send me the info so I could prep the inside-classic pink or blue filling. She says, "Oh no, I want to be surprised too. Just make it neutral for the reveal and we'll all find out together."

I was like...huh? So you want a gender reveal cake with no gender revealed...? She says she'll have someone email the info to me later. That someone never did. Deadline comes, and I still have no gender.

So I make the cake. It's grey inside. Grey outside. Just full on cement vibes. I even added little fondant clouds for effect. It still tasted great, but visually? Grim as hell. The reveal day comes, they cut into it, and my sister looks pissed. Her husband is confused. People start murmuring.

Then she pulls me aside like, "Why would you make it grey? That's so passive-aggressive." Calmly reminded her that no one told me the gender. I literally had no data to work with. I told her I wasn't about to guess or go full improv on someone's baby cake.

Now my mom says I embarrassed her in front of the family and that I "should've tried harder." Tried harder to do what, summon the gender through vibes? So...AlTA for making the most neutral reveal cake in history?

EDIT:

I actually did follow up-asked her a couple days before the reveal if the info had been sent, and she just said something like "yeah, someone's taking care of it." I figured it was handled. I didn't want to pester her since she seemed chill about it at the time.

Here's what people had to say about this one:

Independent-Cat6915 said:

I’m confused. Did you not take the opportunity to message as the date was coming closer to tell your sister: “Hey, I haven’t gotten the info on the gender. A you check on this?”

Diredr said:

You're the one making the cake. If you can't do it because you don't have the relevant information, that's on YOU. Be pushy or cancel the job. Come on, now. At least you could have made the cake white instead of grey. That was passive aggressive. YTA.

Ok_Copy_8869 said:

Why couldn’t you have made it yellow and baby themed or something? It seems pretty vindictive to make the cake a “grim cement vibes” for an important event where you’d be serving many more people besides your air headed sister.

I understand you were frustrated but damn, that’s all anyone is going to remember from that event now which was kinda YTA.

peony_chalk said:

ESH. Your sister shouldn't be asking for a genderless gender reveal cake. "Make it neutral and we'll find out together?" Like what's the point of the cake then? Why not just ask you to make a cake that tastes good and is cute/appropriate for a baby shower? Your sister should have made sure you had the info you needed.

You on the other hand...yes, making it all grey was a dick move. People who choose not to find out the gender ahead of time are typically called "Team Green." Green would have been a great color if you didn't know the gender. Yellow is neutral too. So is white. Even orange or red would have been better than grey.

You DID go full improv on someone else's baby cake, and you intentionally made the cake something you knew she wouldn't like. You also could have followed up with your sister to remind her that you didn't have the info you needed, and to run your "neutral" plan by her first.

Not doing those things makes it look like you just wanted to piss her off or embarrass her. If you didn't want to make the cake - because she's not entitled to a cake from you - then you should have just said so.

SessionBoring9259 said:

YTA. I understand the frustration but you could’ve told her nobody sent the info over and just made a cute baby shower style cake. It was in fact unnecessarily passive aggressive. Especially crappy to do to an emotionally fragile pregnant person on their special day. Communication sucked on both sides.

dryadduinath said:

Yta. yes, you absolutely should have told your sister you hadn’t received the info you needed instead of baking her a punishment cake because someone else let things fall through the cracks. To be clear, this was not passive, it was nasty. (I’m leaving my feelings on gender reveals out of this.)