Man accuses woman of lying about being a veteran, 'she doesn't have the personality.'
Military veterans should be treated with respect for their sacrifices. War isn't a fun, glorified experience despite what Call of Duty makes it look like. People go through horrific things in war zones, so if someone doesn't want to talk about their experience, you should leave them alone.
On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A**hole Subreddit, a man accuses a woman of lying about being in the military because she doesn't want to share anything about her experience.
He writes:
I (34m) served as a Captain in the Marine Corps. I have left the service, and right now, I am doing an MBA. One of my classmates (31F), called 'J,' is very gentle, soft-spoken, and unassuming.
J and I were working together on a case study once, and I started opening up to her about my military service and all the lessons I've learned from the Corps. J enthusiastically told me, 'That's so cool! I was a Surface Warfare Officer in the Navy!'
I immediately felt suspicious about this claim. As I said, J is very timid, and she doesn't have the bravado required in the military environment (at least, I feel like a certain amount of bravado is needed).
I still humored her, and began asking about the details of her military experience - where she deployed, what courses she went through, what ship she served on, etc.
Suddenly J got all tight-lipped, and she couldn't say anything specific about military life. She kept making excuses like 'it just wasn't a good period of my life.' and 'I'd rather not talk about it.' Eventually I felt like I had done enough snooping around, and I bluntly told her that she was bulls$*tting and that I'd rather not work with a phony.
I discussed this experience with my friend, M, at our school's veterans organization. I told M to be wary of anything J says.
M responded by telling me that J did serve, he's seen her paperwork and ID and everything, and that one of her MBA recommendation letters was written by a retired rear admiral (O-8) who held J in high regard. Whoops.
The next time I met J before our class started, I tried to act chummy towards her and make up for accusing her of being a liar. She laughed in my face and told me to 'pound sand, poolee.' And for those who don't know, she was being derisive here. AITA?
The internet always has an answer to your questions.
BreakfastHuge5981 says:
YTA (You're the A**hole) and I'm guessing being a veteran is 90% of your personality.
madelinegumbo says:
YTA. Without any evidence, you accused her of something terrible. You were wrong. Why would she want to be 'chummy' with someone like you?
Do you seriously think anyone reasonable would think SHE is the a**hole here? Her derisive comment was still more polite than you deserved.
LtDan281 says:
You're a prior-service officer and couldn't think of any reasons why someone would either NOT WANT or otherwise NOT BE ABLE to talk about what they did while they were serving? Sounds about right. YTA.
Lia_Delphine says:
Of course YTA and you already know this. You interrogated her because she didn’t fit your misogynistic views of what a service person should be. She literally said this was a bad time in her life, and you tried to force it. 100% AH
OP, veterans come in all shapes and sizes, not just the loud in your face man flavor.