Man addresses girlfriend's 'gross' hygiene, 'Here's where it gets bad.' AITA?
"AITA for pointing out my GF's bad hygiene?"
I (m28) have been with my gf (f27) for seven months now and went full exclusive three months ago. She's everything, smart, kind, caring and drop dead gorgeous to me.
However, she has worse hygiene than a neanderthal. She lives a studio apts so it small. Since started dating her I've avoided spend time there because it's always dirty. But I never said anything because it's her place. She does not shower often and has strong BO. Like bad enough that I won't be intimate with her unless she's recently showered.
Here's where it gets bad. She's on her period and three days ago she was having a really rough day, so called her and asked her to come stay at my place until she feels better that I can cook and take care of her and allow her to rest. She was take the week off from work because it's was so bad.
She came to my place and didn't bring any feminine hygiene products. I have to run to the store at 3 am to get her stuff because she'd been wearing the same pad for so long that it leaked on my bed. I didn't say anything as she's stressed.
The next day I came home from work, and she left the pad from the previous night on the bathroom floor without even wrapped it. I was pissed and called her out and said, "hey that's gross I don't wanna look at that while I use the bathroom."
She got really mad and said I called her gross. I clarified that having a period is not gross, and is a natural thing, but leaving a bloody pad on the floor of someone's home is nasty. She lost it and said I made her feel gross and bad. Was I an ahole here for calling her out?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
preciousmonica1 said:
NTA. Periods are natural, but basic hygiene should still be maintained. Leaving a used pad on the bathroom floor is inconsiderate and unsanitary, especially in someone else's home.
RavenclawEC said:
NTA at all... as you are saying, periods are not gross but, how you handle the products you need to wear during those days should definetely be with consideration and respect for yourself and, those around you...You were right in calling her out, she is old enough to understand what she did was disgusting...
I as a woman cannot understand how could she be wearing a pad that was already leaking not having spares and then spend a whole day with just one, not changing for over 12 hours...that is just sooo not ok and makes me think she has some kind of mental issues, not judging, just thinking it is something you may need to consider...
Toska_Kimora7553 said:
NTA!! unhygienic habits should be called out no matter the situation and she should have that much decency when she's at your house, you're definitely not the one at fault here OP.
d4dana said:
As a woman, that’s not only gross but unacceptable. You are not going to change her behavior. She’s past caring. If she allows you to see this before you’re married, it will continue and nothing will change. NTA.
planetarypartyy said:
NTA. This is so gross, but also please keep in mind she could be struggling with something mentally, emotionally, or physically. (She might not even realize it) when I have a depressive episode, I really need to actively make myself do basic hygiene. Talk to her gently about it.
Known_Witness3268 said:
NTA. In fact you could flat out call her out on being messy and not showering enough. What’s more is poor hygiene is often the symptom of a disfunction. She may benefit from mental help. That could be what she grew up with. If so, she definitely needs help. But I would not be able to stay with someone like this.