Man asks his brother to feed picky kids beforehand, 'ew, what's that smell?' AITA?

"AITA for telling my brother to feed his kids beforehand instead of catering to their picky eating?"

So, my wife (28F) is an amazing cook. She loves trying new recipes, and honestly, her food is restaurant-quality. We often invite family over for dinner, and it's always a hit—except with my brother (35M) and his kids (8F & 10M).

His kids are extremely picky eaters. I’m talking about the kind of picky where they’ll only eat plain pasta, chicken nuggets, or grilled cheese. Whenever they come over, they refuse to eat anything my wife makes, no matter how simple or kid-friendly she tries to make it.

They won’t even try homemade mac and cheese because "it’s not the box kind." This has led to multiple dinners where my wife spends hours cooking, only for my brother to roll his eyes and say, "Guess we’ll have to stop somewhere on the way home."

Last time, my niece even said, "Ew, what’s that smell?" when my wife was cooking. It was frustrating, but we let it slide. So last weekend, we invited my parents, my brother, and his kids for dinner again, but this time, I told my brother, “Hey, if your kids aren’t going to eat, maybe just feed them before you come.”

He got all offended and said I was being rude and that we should just make something they’ll eat. I told him we weren’t running a short-order kitchen and that my wife puts effort into these meals. He ended up not coming, and now my mom is saying I should’ve just made the kids something simple.

My wife says she’s fine, but I can tell she was hurt. I'm not sure what to do, I feel like I have to apologize, I didn't want this to become a whole thing, maybe we can make nuggets separately?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Amazing-Wave4704 said:

Don't invite them again. Tell mom that this isn't up for negotiation.

Sexysubmissive413 said:

NTA. Nope your brother should get a hold on that. If feeding his picky eaters before he brings them to someone else's house is what needs to be done, then he should do that.

Because he is out of his mind taking his kids to another house where someone is taking the time to prepare a meal for them, and not checking them when they are that rude.

Kids only learn from their environment and do and say whatever they are allowed to do and say. Your brother isn't doing enough to keep his kids in check. Your wife has done more than enough to try to accommodate them and they are still so rude to you both. NTA.

Ready-Piglet-415 said:

NTA. Both my kids were picky eaters when they were young. I either fed them beforehand, or took something simple to heat up for them. I would never imagine making others cater to them.

Open-Incident-3601 said:

NTA. If your mom wants separate meals for the kids, she needs to prepare them separate meals and bring them with.

SunniInWV said:

My parents would have clocked me into next week for being so rude to an auntie. NTA and I’d tell your mama she should have raised your brother better than to accept that behavior from his kids.

Fickle_Toe1724 said:

NTA. Your brother should not be invited. I would say he should teach his kids some manners, but he apparently doesn't have any manners either. Rolling his eyes, and saying they will have to stop on the way home? That is rude. We know why his children are rude. If mom is that upset, tell her SHE needs to teach that son some manners.