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Man asks if he was wrong to leave date stranded at bar because she was ignoring him.

Man asks if he was wrong to leave date stranded at bar because she was ignoring him.

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Dating is a science. Picking the right venue, activity, and ambiance is as important as what you wear and say. Choosing wrong on these three things can be the difference between a second date and being ghosted. On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A**hole Subreddit, one man chooses a venue for a date he probably shouldn't have.

AITA for leaving my date at a bar.

He writes:

I went on a date with a girl Sunday. Let's say her name is Mandy. I've met Mandy several times through my friend's girlfriend, Sara. Mandy always seemed friendly and fun to talk to. So I asked her to hang out Sunday. I knew she liked football because she's been to my friend's house for games several times, so I asked her to come with me to watch the game.

Was this the right venue, activity, and ambiance?

We went to a sports bar for dinner. The plan was to watch the game have some drinks, and maybe play pool.

Wrong venue.

So I picked her up Sunday. We got to the bar, and Mandy said her friend was sitting with some other people at a table. She went and said hi, and we sat at the bar and ate. Then she asked if it would be cool if we went and sat by them. I didn't want to, but I agreed.

Wrong activity.

We went over there, and she introduced me. That was it; from then on, I felt like a third wheel. I tried to talk about football with others, but they didn't watch sports. I tried starting a conversation about other stuff with one of the guys, and it didn't seem like it was going anywhere. So I sat and watched the game while Mandy talked to her friends.

Wrong ambiance.

Time passed, and the game was almost over, so I told Mandy I would probably head out after. She said, 'oh, come on, one more drink. Then we'll go.' Ok fine. Then her friends started buying rounds of shots for each other. Not me (understandable, they don't know me, besides I was driving).

I finished my soda and told Mandy I would go because I worked in the morning. She got a confused look and looked at her beer, then the time, and then her friends and said, 'oh, well.... I didn't finish my drink yet'. I said, 'well, I'm leaving. I can give you a ride home if you want.' She said, 'Okay, let me finish my drink.' I said, 'ok,' and sat down.

Then she started screwing around with her friends again, going outside with them, playing darts, and not drinking her drink. I said, 'Mandy, I'm leaving. ' She didn't acknowledge me or say bye, so I went.

Bad dates have a ripple effect.

Yesterday after work, Sara called and yelled at me about leaving Mandy stranded. She said when you drive someone somewhere, you take them home too, that she didn't know I was such a jacka** to leave a girl at a bar alone. Mandy didn't even know I left til she saw my jacket was gone and Mandy had to Lyft home and I 'should reimburse her.'

Sara is not letting OP play the victim here.

I explained my side, and she said, 'so what? She was having fun? You should have joined in instead of sitting around moping'. I tried to get into the conversation and join the group, but it wasn't working. I didn't feel like sitting there bored forever. Her friends were there. It was not like she was alone. AITA for leaving?

Most people sided with OP calling Mandy 'rude.'

corgwin says:

NTA (Not the A**hole). You told her a couple of times that you were leaving and offered her a ride. If she wanted a ride, she needed to wrap it up and head out with you when you left. She did not do that.

Sarasa2000 says:

Yeah, easy NTA.

Mandy and Sara are both a**holes tho.

dublos says:

NTA

You gave Mandy several chances to get a ride home with you. She made her choices and got the consequences of those choices.

noname_with_bacon says:

NTA. Sara is wrong. Mandy was ignoring you and being with her friends. You tried. Mandy was pretty rude to you, and leaving without her was fine, given the circumstances.

The internet has declared Mandy a bad date! Hopefully, OP knows never to have a first date at a bar to watch football.

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