So last week while I was on a business trip my fiancée let her brother borrow my car since he needed one for whatever reason and doesn't own one and she was using hers to go to work.
So when I came back hime I noticed the entire front bumper dented and basically destroyed so when I went to ask her what happened she told me that she let her brother borrow it and he drove it into a pillar by accident.
Some context my car was a gift from my dad for my graduation and has tons of sentimental value too me so I told her Id expect her brother to foot the bill of around 20k to get the body work replaced after I got a estimate from the dealership.
She said she couldn't do that since her brother hadn't held a job since covid hit and wouldn't be able to afford it. This made me even more mad than I already was so I left the apartment and got myself a hotel room and sent her brother a message saying id expect him to pay for the repairs other wise id get lawyers involved.
I'm currently considering calling off the engagement or postponing the wedding cause I don't think I can trust my fiancée around my finances anymore after she basically loaned something worth 150k to her wildly irresponsible brother without telling me.
This is after she already knows how much that car means to me not just financially but sentimentally as well and then proceeded to try and defend her brother cause I can afford to get it repaired while he can't.
End the engagement and make sure to sue him for the repairs. Also since he didn't have permission I'd file a police report. Even though she gave him permission it's not her car to do that to.
RUN. and don't look back. NTA this family sucks.
NTA. Completely call off the wedding. Aware that your car was special to you, she handed the keys to her unemployed brother and NEVER bothered to call or text you to ask if it was okay.
Then when he crashes it, you're supposed to suck up the cost!?!!? Hell no, she’s shown no respect for Op’s property and a tendency to make bad decisions to ‘help’ her family regardless of how it affects you.
I'd get my ring back and give her and her family 30 days to get me 20k to repair my car, or im call the cops and filing a lawsuit. There is no way in hell, if you marry her, that her brother and other family just start using your stuff. People that do this stuff, agree to let deadbeat family members move in for undisclosed stays.
NTA. Disgusting. What next, he burns does the house and you pay for it... Because you can? Don't get married to her no matter what. Get a lawyer, too, you can get more than 20k.
NTA. You marry someone, you're marrying their family as well. Especially when they have no boundaries or sense around lending and giving away your things. Can you report it as having been stolen and go through insurance? It might be worth it to burn some bridges if it gets you made whole.