Man calls wife 'fat' after giving birth, says 'I warned her that I would say something!'
AITA for calling my wife after she gave birth?
ApprehensiveWaltz904 writes:
For some backstory about me, when I was younger, I was bullied for being fat, and my mother wouldn't help me lose weight. So when I got into college, I lost a lot of weight, gained muscle, and now I'm 6'5 and 240 pounds.
My wife and I have been together since we were 25; we are now 32 and had our baby 6 months ago. She's had a hard time taking care of him, so I've been helping in any way I can.
I haven't had much time to go back to the gym and haven't gained that much weight, maybe 25 to 30 pounds, which is okay because I still look good. I plan to go back to the gym when he gets on a better sleep schedule, and my wife isn't so tired.
She's recently been telling me that I'm getting fat and not as attractive as before. I mainly brush off her comments, but she's been doing this a lot recently, and it's been making me upset.
I've told her this, and she said she'll stop, but she hasn't. So I told her if you don't stop, I'm going to say something you are not going to want to hear. She laughed and said okay while rolling her eyes.
On Monday, she called me fatty and said that I need to hit the gym before she calls my old classmates. I said, 'I need to hit the gym; it's been six months since you've had the baby, you should not be looking like that.' She ran off crying. I haven't apologized because I don't know if I'm wrong or not. If I'm wrong, I will go apologize, but I don't know. So, AITA?
She has not had any body issues in the past; she always feels like whatever weight she is, is what weight she is. Yes, I do love her body; I find it attractive. So I just said that to get her back.
Here are the top comments from the post:
blablablablaparrot says:
Your wife is verbally abusive and you hit your limit. You are sacrificing your health for your family’s wellbeing and she thinks that fat shaming you is the way to go? Silly woman.
Maybe you should hit the gym hard again. But not for her. For you. An hour at least of peace and quiet.
Tell her that you are expecting an apology for the abusive way she’s been treating you. Make it clear to her that you are disappointed as she knows your past and you never expected the one person you should feel safe with would turn into your bully.
Tell her that you will not tolerate her abuse and if she continues, you will not retaliate with words like you last did but with action: your marriage might be on the line as you wil not endure her toxicity,
Also, tell her that her running away crying is ridiculous after all she’s done to you. instead of reflecting, she cries. She’s like a child. NTA (Not the A%*hole).
FAFO-13 says:
NTA. Your wife needs to choose her words a little more carefully.
vedenmorsian says:
I'm going to be brutally honest. She's being a b%@ch. Our boy is nearing his 9 month mark, and my weight has been jojoing a bit. I've already got extra on me, but my partner doesn't say that I'm a fatty.
I also noticed a while back that my partner had been gaining a bit of weight and a bit more of dad bod now. But he still looks great, and I've changed our diet a bit so we can both lose a bit of weight. So my point is it's okay to notice, but it's rude to go about it like that.
suziespends says:
NTA it wasn’t one time she was mean and you said that, she kept it up even after you told her it bothered you. I think people can be awful but you should always be able to count on your partner to be supportive and at the very least not feel like crap.
What do you think? Should OP have said that to his wife?