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Man catches wife trying to cheat on him with his friend from her iWatch; 'I'm SHOCKED.' UPDATED 5X

Man catches wife trying to cheat on him with his friend from her iWatch; 'I'm SHOCKED.' UPDATED 5X

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When this man catches his wife doing the unthinkable, he shares his story:

"Caught wife trying to cheat with my friend from her iwatch": a saga of 5 parts"

So last night my wife of 7 years decided to have a chill out night. After dinner she went to the den and was watching her programmes while I flitted between watching the spurs football game and doing some odds and ends that I had planned.

Next thing I know she’s got the wine out and has had two bottles of the stuff. At around midnight I went to check on her and seen she was out cold on the couch. I went to scoop her up when her iwatch thing buzzed and a message popped up on the screen. It said something along the lines of “haha I can’t do that my name would knock 7 shades of sh& out of me :p :p”.

I wondered what that was all about so I pressed on it and it was a conversation between my wife and a friend of mine. Now I wouldn’t say this guys a close friend of mine but he’s someone I’ve played 5 a sides with for years, drank with and have known since we were teenagers.

We used to call him jacket holder because when we got into scraps as teens he’d always be the guy holding the jackets while everyone else went for it.

Right so as I said I pushed on the conversation while this thing is still attached to her wrist and scroll up to the top and as far as I can tell it’s him that contacts her first(unless she’s deleted).

There’s lots of flirting and wink winking going on but nothing that you could outright say was cheating then I get to last night and when she’s drunk she starts openly begging him for s% I couldn’t believe my eyes.

I’m paraphrasing here because I can’t remember the exact words but she was saying stuff like how much she had always wanted him, how no one would ever find out if he did want to do something and the last one that killed me...that she was great at keeping secrets.

I tried to scroll on her watch but couldn’t find any other messages and I don’t know her phone pass code. I put her in her bed and just sat in the kitchen in shock until I fell asleep...then got up for work about 5.30.

When I went to get in my work van I just slunked down on the wheel and realised I couldn’t face it so I went back in the house grabbed a half drunk bottle of vodka, filled to the top with coke and went on a walk down the railway line(we live beside a lot of woodland and a disused railway line that goes for miles and I’ve walked about half the length of it.

I’m sitting under a railway bridge like a troll right now just seething at the whole thing. You’d probably think there’s a fire going from about a mile away due to the steam coming out of my ears.

So what do I do? I don’t want to speak to her, I can’t even bare to look at her after reading that was like a dagger through my heart, I just feel like every morsel of love I had for her has evaporated into thin air after reading her begging like that.. yuk.

I honestly want to ghost her man, if I could I would never speak to her again. The whole I’m great at keeping secrets was the thing that really got me though like who even are you? It reeks but it’s a case of how far down the rabbit hole do I want to go?

I don’t care if I’m being honest I’m just done...I’ve never felt so betrayed and disgusted in all my life. The thing is I’ve invested so much in her not just as a partner, but as a person. I loved her so much and thought her personality and by extension my personality reflected that of good people.

To realise she’s a backstabbing snake makes me feel like a snake, I feel like a worse person than I was yesterday.

I’m lucky in that our house is owned by my parents, who 6 years ago moved to a retirement village and we moved in. The house will be bequeathed to me when they die but I don’t and hopefully won’t own it for a long time. They couldn’t be bothered with the upkeep and all the problems etc and wanted to see out their final days in peace so when we do divorce my soon to be ex won’t be getting her hands on it.

So what do I do then? I’m honestly thinking of just not saying a word and throwing her right out. Also while walking here it went through my mind to get my mate who’s a locksmith to quietly change the locks today(i could feed her any old garbage about something from the doors being broken, she won’t care what’s going on anyways, as long as I’m about).

Then after he’s done lock the front door and tell her to come out and look at something out the back, when she comes out just run back in and lock the door behind me. That sounds childish af doesn’t it? Ach seriously though I don’t know what I’m gonna do, I’m staring at a bottle right now and my life feels like it has been ripped apart at the seems.

As for that prick so called friend of mine, there’s no doubt he was up to something here. There’s also no doubt I wouldn’t have caught wind of this at all so I’ll be seeing him very soon, never mind holding jackets he’ll be holding his face.

TLDR- Caught wife trying to openly cheat on me with someone I considered a Friend from her iwatch.

Edit to update - Have went to a friends house to calm down, I threw the vodka away. She has been texting me asking where I am as my work van is still in the drive way. I text her saying there is a problem with the engine so I got a lift into work...I’ll make my move tonight.

Update 1:

Thank you to everyone who reached out to me after my first post, was really appreciated. So yesterday after I had written the post and was in a complete mess, two dog walkers came over to check on me as I was obviously concerning them.

I told them everything, they listened and the first thing one of them said to me was “son, the worst thing you can do right now is drink, it’ll cause carnage”.

I have to thank her for that because I was on the highway to hell at that point. I threw the vodka away, got in touch with a friend and he said I could come to his for a while to calm down(he was at work but told me where the spare key was)...we live in a small town of around 15,000 people and he wasn’t too far away so once I got there I sat on his couch just trying to calm down.

Throughout the morning I was getting multiple texts and phone calls from my wife asking where I was and what the hell was up as my work van was still sitting in the drive way and I was no where to be seen. I text her back telling her that there was a problem with the engine so I got a lift into work which she seemed to buy as she just text back saying ok.

When my friend got back from his work at about 5 o clock I told him everything that had happened and asked him his opinion. I also told him not to tell anyone about jacket holder as that might then get back to my wife which I didn’t want at this point,I would deal with him later.

By that I mean I’ll expose what a little rat he is, knocking f out of him doesn’t help me at all as of now. As an aside to the people saying he done nothing wrong, he messaged my wife first, he was being extremely flirty...what the f is he even playing at messaging my wife for in the first place he only knows her in passing, from afar...

Look I’ve got no problem with two adults conversing with each other but they hardly knew each other and it was flirty from the start(as far as I could tell). I think they’ve seen each other while out and about and it’s gotten flirty then.

So my friend convinced me to try and keep a low profile, and see what I could dig up but at the same time speak to a Lawyer and get the ball rolling in terms of finding out my options(which I have done today).

He took me home about 6 o clock and I was honestly dead on my feet by that point, I think the adrenaline pumping the entire day then suddenly stopping knocks it right out of you so I was extremely tired when I got home.

The second I walked through the door I knew something was up as my wife was on me right away asking me all sorts of questions about work, i asked her why does she even care and she said that I’d left my big flask and my lunch bag in the front passenger side seat and something’s been up today she could feel it.

I was about to lie but I was just too tired, I couldn’t be bothered putting any sort of charade up so I just said yeah there is something up, that when I was putting her drunken arse to bed last night a message came up on her iwatch, which I read...and all the other ones...and that she was a fg disgusting cheat that i wanted nothing more to do with.

Her demeanour went from an arms crossed person in power to scared little girl within about a second. Good at keeping secrets eh? Begging that little rat for sex eh? Yep, read it all.

She started sobbing and I just walked away and upstairs into the shower. When I got out she was sitting on the top stair crying still and the excuses started right away. How she was drunk, vulnerable, had never done anything like that before, how he had messaged her first and it didn’t mean anything, she was never gonna go through with it.

Pretty much everything that everyone on here was saying she would say, like she had the playbook out. The only thing she didn’t do was try and blame me, she probably knew I would’ve thrown her right out the door if she had tried that shit.

I told her that I wanted a divorce and her out of the house within a month. Also told her that she was moving to the spare room. I’ve been pretty much ignoring her ever since just scowling at her and shaking my head when she starts waffling nonsense, I don’t want to hear it.

She slept in the spare room last night and I haven’t spoken to or texted with her at all today. If I’m lucky maybe she’ll be gone when I get back from work but my lucks not that good I suppose. On getting her out though I was telling my parents what was happening today and my mother was adamant I wasn’t throwing her out on to the streets.

Her and my mother are close and always have been(we’d have been together 11 years in December). My mother was saying she made a mistake and that we should sort it out like adults, that we’ve been through too much together and that she didn’t actually do anything it was just words.

She completely took her side over mine, couldn’t believe it. Like do I have no right to ask her to leave if my mother is against it? It’s literally gonna be my house when my parents pass and I did nothing wrong so I’m not leaving. It’s probably gonna turn into war of the roses part 2.

I managed to get myself an appointment with a divorce lawyer for next week so I’ll be going to that to discuss my options. Until then I’m just gonna ignore my soon to be ex wife I guess. I know she’s probably not gonna admit anything else now, I’ll never know if she was a really good liar or she was just talking shit to him to get him onside with her for an affair.

Anyways sorry about the delay in the update, Just got the chance to write it now as I’m finishing work. Well back to the funhouse I guess.

Update 2:

Hi, I thought I’d give an update since a lot of people have been personal messaging me asking for one.

It’s now been 20 days since I found out my wife was trying to cheat on me with my friend and the situation has become hellish. I gave her a month to get out and she’s been sleeping in the spare room but it’s clear now she doesn’t have any intention of going after she got in the ear of my mother.

She doesn’t have anywhere to go at any rate but that’s not my problem. I’ve seen my divorce lawyer multiple times, and am now in the process of drawing up a divorce petition and having my wife served divorce papers. I’ve also opened my own bank account and taken 50 percent of the balance from our shared account.

The atmosphere around the house has been weird to say the least. The living room has turned into a no-mans land where no one frequents as we both spend the majority of our times in our rooms(I’ve also intentionally been working late a lot so I don’t have to interact with her much).

I had been completely ignoring her but after reading about the 180, have started implementing that and been civil if a little cold towards her. I’m so glad I did this as I was beginning to feel like a monster refusing to acknowledge her existence, it was not the right way to behave and I ended up feeling like the one who had wronged her, rather than the other way about.

The only time I broke from the 180 was when I walked into the bathroom last week and she was sitting on the floor by the bath crying, I helped her up and instinctively gave her a hug though it was more of a ‘there there’ type hug than one with much love attached to it.

The sad thing is that I’m so suspicious of her now that I wouldn’t put it past her to be waiting on me coming in so she could put on a performance. The thing is that probably isn’t even true, but this is the sort of shit that’s going through my head in this environment, it’s just toxic.

She’s been crowing about how she’ll do anything and everything to save this marriage, anything to prove to me that it was just a silly mistake, so I brought up a lie detector test. I don’t plan on ever getting one done, wouldn’t even know where to start, I just wanted to gauge her reaction.

She was all for it...well until a few hours later when she came to me, tablet in hand, going on about how inaccurate they are...and that anxiety and nervousness can throw up false readings...and with her and her anxiety disorder an all. I just laughed, wasn’t even a normal like chuckle either.

It started as a bit of a cackle and ended in a childish giggle. It appears she would do everything to save this marriage...well everything except take a lie detector test that is...hmm.

It doesn’t even matter anyway, I meant what I said in my op, every morsel of love i had for her dissipated into the atmosphere after I read her say those horrible things. I don’t see her as my true love anymore, the person I could tell anything to and would trust with my life. I just see trash, trash that needs taken out before it stinks the place up.

Jacket holder has been the talk of the town since I exposed him to our friend group a few weeks back. It’s safe to say he has no friends left among us, and has been completely ostracised. I tried phoning him a few times but he refused to answer then blocked my number. F that little rat I hope it was worth it.

I’ve spoken to my mother multiple times about this and during a heated argument asked her why she was taking my wife’s side, like was there something she wasn’t telling me here? What was she expecting? Us to live like roommates? Go on like nothing happened? It’s ridiculous.

She said she has always seen my wife as the daughter she never had but always wanted, my mother had a stillborn daughter before I was born and it has haunted her, so she latched on to my wife and has done since we got together. As I said previously, they have a close bond.

The fact my wife doesn’t have any family and only a few friends who have their own busy lives and families means if I threw her out she would be all alone and my mum thinks that’s unacceptable especially during a pandemic.

She tried to get me to come to a compromise saying that in 3 or 4 months we can look at it again and see where we are mentally and is pushing me to try couples counselling before I throw in the towel. I’m not doing that, the thought of being in the same house as my wife over Christmas makes me feel ill.

She’ll want to do it right as she does every year and it’ll be a complete s show. My Dad, God love him, has never been much of a talker. Never up nor down just always there. He’s a quiet, proud but timid man and my mothers word has always been the one that matters in our house.

People on here have been telling me that I’m selfish and spoiled cos it’s not my house and I have no right to make demands but it’s now a case of my wife or me for my parents. If worse comes to worst then I’m ready to walk out the door and never come back.

F this house, I have to be able to look at myself in the mirror with some semblance of self respect and someone has to keep their word in this debacle. If I do leave, my friend has said I can stay with him for a few weeks or so til I get myself sorted. If I do walk out that door though, I’m done with my parents, I’ll never speak to them again in my life.

They’ll probably see it as me giving up on them, me walking away without trying to at least have a go at fixing things first. I see it as them choosing someone who broke my heart over me. Like what will be the logistics of this once I’m gone? Just her staying there herself, my mother and father looking after a backstabber while their flesh and blood goes off alone?

A little more info on the house, my parents let us move in a year after our wedding, it was an apparent belated wedding gift...although that was just the chatter from them at the time, they were always planning on moving out and moving us in. I’ve spent tens of thousands on it over the years but that’s neither here nor there.

I have fantasies of leaving this all behind, going somewhere new and starting again, but I don’t have anywhere else to go. I’ve lived in this town my entire life, it’s all I know. Am I being too harsh here? I’m literally ready to slingshot my parents right out of my life but I feel so torn.

Why am I the one who has to lose everything and everyone? I’ve tried to be good, and I always thought you make your own luck, and that good things happen to good people. Maybe I’m not as good as I think I am, maybe I deserve all I get.

Well since this morning I no longer call that house home. I seen on the calendar that my wife had a hospital appointment with her ophthalmologist, so knowing she would be gone for few hours I took that as an opportunity to get my stuff together and move out, which I have.

After getting my things moved and sorted, I just put the house keys on the kitchen table, along with the divorce papers I received from the divorce lawyer last week and was on my way.

I’ve blocked both my wife and mothers numbers and any communication I have with my wife going forward will be done through my lawyer. In terms of my living situation I’m staying with a friend for a week or two but hopefully I should be in my own rented place before Christmas.

I haven’t spoken to my parents in a few weeks, last time we spoke, was via text and I tried to tell my mother, in explicit detail, the things my wife was saying during her texts to jacket holder.

Why it hurt me so much, and why I didn’t think it was her first time doing it with the whole “I’m good at keeping secrets” comment and thus could never trust her again. My mother text back saying she couldn’t speak to me when I was like this, and she would let me “cool off”. She tried to phone me a few days ago and I just blanked her call and as said a bit further up, since today have blocked her number.

I feel so let down by my parents and at this point, it almost feels worse than the original betrayal from my wife. The way I’m feeling right now I don’t think I’ll ever speak to them again. I think in times of strife, you look to your family to be strong for you, to be a rock and give you...the wronged one...support.

My parents have been weak, they’ve made me feel like the one in the wrong, like I’m overreacting, and it’s me that’s ripping this family apart, well it’s not. I didn’t ask them to move mountains for me, just move my cheating wife out the house and they made their choice.

My father also had the chance to put his foot down for once in his life and stand up for me, but didn’t. You make your choices and you live with them I guess.

Reading some of the comments on here from my previous posts, people have been saying things like - I threw in the towel so easily, I was looking for a way out and didn’t love my wife because I didn’t try hard enough to save things but that’s not true.

I loved my wife more than anyone on this earth and I was broken when I discovered what she was doing. I think we all have boundaries, and once those boundaries have been crossed things change irrevocably. When I read those horrible texts, something changed inside of me, I fell out of love with her, like being snapped out of a spell in the movies. Anything tried after that is just delaying the inevitable.

I have to say that I’m interested in the whole dynamic of their relationship now that I’m gone. Like are my parents gonna continue supporting her knowing that it has finished their relationship with their son?

As for me, I’d love to travel! My wife hated flying so most of our holidays, had been to southern England, the likes of Newquay and Torquay in Cornwall and Devon so would be great to travel abroad again. The last time I was abroad was when I was 20 for a mates holiday in Greece so 13 years ago. I’d love to see a bit of America so once this pandemic calms down I’ve definitely got my sights on the states.

Well that’s about it for me I guess, this’ll be my last post as I don’t want to outstay my welcome and I don’t think there’s much more to say at any rate. If you want to see how I’m doing down the line shoot me a dm and I’ll try and keep you in the loop. Thanks for reading, Bye.

Update 3 (7 months laer):

It’s been over 7 months since I first posted on Reddit and I honestly thought that was it for me as I didn’t need any more advice. I had made my decisions and done what I said I would but i got a phone call this morning that has dragged me back in to the mire.

I have moved 15 miles away, changed my phone number and am still in the process of divorcing my wife. She has completely ignored all the requests from my divorce lawyer to cooperate which has hindered things, we’re now in the process of putting in an application for deemed service so she will be served officially by the courts and if she continues to ignore then i can proceed with a divorce without her input.

Well this morning while at work I got a phone call from my friend telling me that my dad was trying to get in touch as my mother is not well and would it be ok if he gave him my number. I said ok and my dad phoned to tell me mum is in hospital, she’s stable but not great.

Obviously I was shocked as I’ve not heard my dads voice for so long, it was also the most emotional I’ve ever heard him. He told me my mum really wants to see me so would I meet him at the hospital tonight and go in and see her with him. I said ok and I’ve arranged to meet him outside the hospital.

I ended up going home from work as I couldn’t concentrate and I’m climbing the walls here wondering if I’ve made the right decision, wondering if I’m about to get dragged back into this shit show that I walked away from. I’ve never felt so nervous in my life and the lack of control I have over the situation has sent my mind spiralling in lots of different directions.

I feel like I’m walking into a burning building blindfolded with no idea where the exits are. Why does she want to speak to me now? Has she had a change of heart? Unless she’s also had a personality transplant while in there I find that unlikely. Will my wife be there? I have no interest in ever seeing her again.

I’m still angry about what transpired with them and the way they took my cheating wife’s side over mine...I’ve been going back and forth in my head about going at all, but I will go.

I was also thinking about maybe seeing if she wanted to speak over the phone instead but not sure if she would do that or even if she’s well enough. I feel like the bad guy here and that I might have caused this from walking away. How would you handle this? Any advice would be appreciated.

Update 4:

So I did end up going to the hospital on Wednesday night after much toing and froing. I was genuinely about to back out at the last minute as I felt my bottle crashing but I needed some closure and knew that I wouldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t go and something happened.

When I drove into the hospital car park I had this surreal feeling of extreme paranoia and was half expecting my wife to jump out from behind a bush or something.

I met my dad at the entrance and it was pretty awkward as he tried to hug me and I said no, I then said if my wife is here in any way shape or form then I am about turning and out the door. He assured me she wasn’t and we made our way to the ward where mum was.

When I seen my mother I got the fright of my life as she looked like she had been in the wars. Never have I seen her look so frail, she’s got an extreme black eye, also a lot of bruising and purple/yellowness down one side of her face. She took a serious fall, broke two ribs, shattered her elbow and banged one side of her head/face on the ground, so elbow, ribs then head in that order.

She looked zombified but perked up when she seen me. She told me how much she’s missed me, and that she wasn’t sure she’d ever see me again. I told her if she had really wanted to get a hold of me she could’ve done.

We spoke for a bit about what exactly had happened, and how she was down for a few hours before my dad found her, also that she was determined to get back to normal and mend bridges with me.

I brought up my wife and that I had been pushing for a divorce but she was either ignoring the letters or wasn’t getting them, so I asked if she’s still in the house? Mum admitted she was and dad started to look uncomfortable, I just looked away in disgust.

Mum started saying how lost my wife is without me and that she’s not in a good way. I knew then that nothing will change, she’s not had an epiphany or seeing things from a new perspective she just wants the status quo back. She said that the house is my home and always will be but I told her I don’t want it. It means nothing to me anymore and all it holds are bad memories.

I stayed for under an hour all in all, when I left I said if I want to get in contact I will, but don’t be waiting over the phone for me to call, as you might be waiting a while. When dad walked me out he asked if I would keep in touch with him and I said I would, whether that’s right or wrong I don’t know, time will tell.

When I got home my emotions were a bit all over the place, from sadness to anger but I’m glad I went. Couldn’t help think about my wife as well, and what she once meant to me, it’ll never not hurt.

When I think about everything that’s happened in the last 7 months, it honestly doesn’t feel real. The speed at which everything fell apart was just spellbinding. I know life comes at you fast, especially when you’re not paying attention, and I wasn’t paying attention.

It was just sheer luck I found out about her trying to cheat on me, cosmic coincidence, nothing more. I never seen the signs or put everything together I just saw something on her watch and it tore my life apart.

I know now that it wasn’t the only time, I know it in my heart, I see what she is and feel no love for her, only contempt. I feel she stole the best years of my life, when I think about all the good times, they’re just soured, it feels like someone else’s life, not mine.

My friend was saying I should see a therapist or something to try and let everything out or else this will fundamentally change who I am and the way I build relationships going forward. That’s something I’m going to do I think, as I do feel a bit broken inside.

The last 6 plus months have been the worst of my life but I’d rather they happened than been kept in the dark. I’m just sad that it happened the way it did, but you can’t choose the way someone fucks you over I suppose, you just have to learn from it.

I remember reading about loyalty being the most undervalued character trait and I see that now. Probably because you don’t really know if someone is truly loyal to you until, well they’re not. It’s not something you deal with every day but now more than ever I know how important a trait it is.

Update 5:

Firstly, I’m now in the home straight in terms of divorce from my wife. She has signed the divorce papers and now all that’s left are the formalities.

She sent me a message via my dad where she said she’s sorry for not letting me move on, that she thought she could save things but now she knows she can’t, and she has to move on for her own well-being. I thank her for seeing sense. She doesn’t want anything in the divorce and said she’s going to move out the house when she can get on her feet, which I’m ok with.

In terms of my mother I haven’t spoken to her yet but my dad said she’s doing a lot better after getting out the hospital and getting some normality back. I don’t know how things will pan out with them but I’ve said that if the house is going to be mine then I want them to put it into my name now, to give me some security, then we can start trying to build bridges. We’ll see how that goes.

My biggest battle ahead is in my head and trying to get over everything that’s happened. The brain is a wonderful yet frightening thing. To give an example…I can still taste the truffles I scoffed(then threw up)at my grans house when I was like 5.

I’ve never ate truffles again but I can still taste those fg things 30 years later when I think about it. What I’m getting at is I don’t want to harbour thoughts, feelings and opinions about everything that’s happened 30 years down the road.

I don’t want to be one of those older people who’s had everything good knocked out of them by the pain of life.

You often hear about those people, how they used to be good, kind or funny but somewhere along the line, they’ve had experiences that have forever changed them, turned them into a person they never wanted to be and all that’s left is pain. I don’t want to be that person, I have to let this pain go before it consumes me.

I have started therapy and spoken to a psychiatrist both over the phone and in person and it has helped me a lot to speak candidly about everything, if only for a little while.

My psychiatrist also said something to me that really struck a chord. When I was moaning about how my best years were behind me she said “your best years are the years you’ve got left”.

What I think she meant is the past is gone, it doesn’t exist, except in your mind, but the here and now does and you can choose to make the most of it, or live in a past that isn’t real to anyone but you. It’s definitely a phrase I’m going to try and remember when I feel down.

I said in one of my previous posts that I wanted to travel and that is finally happening. My friend has committed to come with me and we’ve booked a flight to New York at the beginning of October for a week.

Really looking forward to it, always wanted to see New York when the leaves change, reminds me of that movie you’ve got mail. I want this to be just the beginning of my adventures in terms of travelling, I want my latter 30’s to be littered with memories from escapades I’ve had abroad, well that’s the plan anyway.

All I know is that for the first time in what seems such a long time, I’m waking up with hope in my heart and a spring in my step, if that’s not progress…then I don’t know what is.

Sources: Reddit
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