Twins are said to have an unbreakable bond. Stories of twins separated at birth, feeling like parts of them are mi sing until reunited, are aplenty. If you find yourself dating a twin, you best not try and get in between that sibling bond.
He writes
I (21M) am a twin. We can call my brother Matthew for anonymity's sake. We're identical and do things in sync sometimes, but I don't know if it's more common than two people who spend much time together and adopt each other's mannerisms.
I would say that the twin intuition thing is real. We have two older brothers, and I love them, but I'm not as close to them as I am to Matthew. We have never been away from each other for longer than maybe three days. We don't technically live together, but we stay in the same apartment building for college and often fall asleep at each other's place.
My girlfriend (24F) and I have been long-distance for basically our entire relationship. I'm busy with school and music Matthew and I work on together. She lives about two hours away and is busy with her job and grad program.
To make a long, somewhat confusing explanation short, she's staying with me for the summer, working shorter hours remotely. At the same time, she's finishing her in-person grad school requirement at the university I currently attend. Most of her grad program has been online, but this section is not.
It's her capstone project, and doing it during the summer means she's doing it in half the time, so she has to buckle down and work. I get that. Still, how she's treated my brother isn't cool with me. She often rolls her eyes and shuts herself in our guest bedroom when she comes home and sees that he's over.
The final straw came last week when I got a phone call while I was out of the apartment. My girlfriend was freaking out. She had refused to let my brother in the apartment, so he used the key I had given him, and she lost it.
She said her boundaries weren't respected, and I needed to kick him out. Instead, I told her she needed to leave. She's furious, saying she can't find somewhere else to stay on such short notice.
She also said I'm f%cking up the most important class of her life, saying I'm too codependent on my brother and that I should have never told her she could stay when I knew she needed to work and I wasn't allowing her to do so. AITA?
The internet will not let twin culture slide.
DoobieDoo0718 says:
Brother has no need to be in your apartment when you are not there, and you two can easily jam in his apartment to give her some privacy. YTA (You're the A#%hole) for you and your brother.
C_Majuscula says:
YTA. The two of you are spending your time messing around and she's trying to work. Then someone who doesn't live there used a key to get into the apartment when he clearly wasn't wanted? Nope. Relationship's over.
FeedbackCreative8334 says:
YTA and so is your brother. He has no business being over at your place with her when you're not there.
Grad school is very stressful, it's only for one term, she needs study time, and all the smoking and rocking out has to be distracting at best: why can't that happen at Bro's apartment since you live in the same building?
Dumping someone in the middle of a term, especially one this important, and making them homeless in the process, is like sending a Dear John letter to a soldier deployed in a war zone. You can't come back from this.
OP, having a twin doens't mean you HAVE to spend all your time with him.