I (26M) was born in the UK to an American mom and French dad. However, when I was 13, my dad passed away so my mom and I soon moved to the USA so that we could be closer to her side of the family.
Now I've been currently in a relationship with my girlfriend Rachel (28F) for about 4 years. Everything until the last year or so has been perfect. We're both fitness junkies and we met at a gym. We just clicked and moved in together within a year. I really love this woman and thought I would spend the rest of my life with her. We even talked about starting a family about a year ago.
Sadly in April last year, my mom passed away unexpectedly. Since I did not have any siblings, my mom and I became really close and losing her felt like my whole world came crashing down. Life has been emotionally tough since then. I've tried to find solace in my friendships and hobbies but I just don't enjoy them as I used to.
I also start stress eating to cope with the grief and because of that I've put on weight. Before my mom died, I was 5'10 150lbs, now I'm about 180. I'm not obese but it do look a lot rounder around the middle. I know I'm not living healthy and I'm trying to change so that I can get back to where I want to be.
However in the last 3 months or so, my girlfriend has been making a lot of snide comments about my weight. For example, if I eat a small chocolate after dinner, she'll say "aren't you trying to lose weight" or if I'm watching a soccer game and one of the players removes their shirt after the match, she'll say "why you can't look like that guy."
What's worse is that she sometimes makes these comments in public in front of my friends. I've told her many times to stop but she says she just wants me to motivate me to be healthy and continues doing it anyway.
Now my girlfriend is a huge "Swiftie" and ever since she heard that Taylor was dating Travis Kelce she's been watching the KC games. Well last week we were watching the conference finals together and after the game the cameras were following the two of them for a bit. I decided my girlfriend needed a taste of her own medicine. I said "It must be nice to date someone like Taylor Swift."
My girlfriend looked at me weird and asked me what I meant. I said Taylor is smart, beautiful, and supports her boyfriend all the people I've dated (I've only dated 2 including Rachel) are mean, condescending and prey on my insecurities. She said she isn't those things. I told her she has been absolutely acting that way for months and made me feel worthless. She started crying and called me an ahole.
Since then her sister and best friend have been calling me a shallow jerk for what I said and telling me I shouldn't be comparing my gf with other women. But my intention was to only show her how hurtful her comments to me have been. AITA?
NTA but I always say this…is this something you want to deal with for the rest of your life? Or till the inevitable divorce? She has no issues coming at you and pointing your “flaws” out but the moment you flip the script she runs and tells everyone while shedding crocodile tears…
you did nothing wrong and just gave her a taste of her medicine and I would suggest you look at moving if able cuz this relationship is over, only a matter of time till it implodes really. No coming back from this series of actions tbh.
NTA. She is frankly a terrible gf. Instead of finding out if you're coping alright after losing your mum, the woman has been body shaming you for months, often in front of friends. Clearly, the thing she finds most important is that you stay "good enough" for her royal highness while you grieve. She running to her sister and friend to vilify you and gang up to berate you is just a small taste of your future with this nasty creature.
NTA. Sounds like you are going through a depression. Seek some professional help. Your girlfriend sounds toxic as fuck and you might need to consider switches girlfriends. You get depressed and put on some weight and she starts making fun of you.
She is only attracted to you when you have a great body. This is not love. NTA. Find someone who loves you and get in touch with a therapist. They help a ton with the grievance process and help you move forward.
NTA the only weight you need to lose is your horrible girlfriend
NTA. The best way to teach her a lesson would be to kick her shallow, judgemental a$s to the curb.